How common is it for your wife to be jealous of the dog?

Question

My wife frequently gets irritated with me because I baby our dog, and says I'm sweeter to the dog than her. She loves the dog too, but I give her much more attention than my wife does.
The dog is happy to see me when I walk through the door everyday no matter what's going on - even when I'm in a lousy mood. She (dog) doesn't get defensive, she just wants to play and get some love (don't be sick with that one). Not so much with my spouse - most days it's a semi-b!+ch session about her day that greets me. So yeah, some days it is nicer to come home to the dog who does not really want anything from me than the rest of the family who attack me with request (kids are guilty too, asking for allowance or french fries etc). I've explained this to my wife as nicely as I can muster (OK somewhat sarcastically) but just get the stare. I've also tried being as sweet to everybody else as I am to the dog when I walk through the door, but the responses to me haven't changed. Pretty common?

Answer 1

1st of all, I think it's extremely common. Look, it's much easier to relate to a dog that's always happy to see you and doesn't want anything more from you than a pat on the head and a few rubs. Fortunately or unfortunately, depending on your perspective, people aren't that simple.

Life these days is very hard. Everyone has a million things going on and we've all grown more disconnected with one another as a result, so when you take that as your starting point and add to it a wife, kids, dog, mortgage, etc., it's easy to see how when you've got that many balls in the air one or more are going to fall on the floor if you're not careful (and probably even if you are).

Good, bad or indifferent, this isn't the 50s where the guy works and the wife stays at home and takes care of the kids, so the balancing act is a lot trickier these days but it's not impossible.

1) Everybody needs to feel respected and acknowledged. Try to agree with your wife that whoever gets home 1st will find their other half and greet them warmly. Physical contact that promotes connectedness is important.
2) After the warm greeting, now your wife gets 20 mins (on average) to tell you about her day and you get the same. It seems it's easier for men to leave work at the office whereas many women feel the need to talk about work when they get home. Having a limit though will prevent it from infringing upon family activities.
3) Move on to family activities. Try to limit the TV. Eat dinner at the table together. Talk to your kids about their day. Have fun but have fun together in a way that promotes connectedness as opposed to watching TV or doing your own thing, which promotes the opposite.
4) Cut out the sarcasm. It's only going to make things worse.

I don't think you playing with the dog is the problem. Love your dog but just don't do it to the detriment of your family. Balance is the key to happiness.

Answer 2

Leave this woman alone. Do not have back in forth phone conversations using "the dog" issue as a ruse. An yes you are doing that. Is this actually cheating? No. But your standing on the edge of a very slippery slope and there is a cliff near by. You sure as heck don't want your wife to not trust you because if that happens you lose the whole foundation = trust is the glue to your marriage. Is it worth it talking and going back in forth with this woman inorder to lose your marriage and wife?? Hold this woman off in getting close and personal and be more standoffish with her. Do it for the sake of keeping calm and happy marriage relations.

Answer 3

Now I'm not gonna lie and say that sometimes woman don't understand, since I am a woman I guess I should be on your wifes side.....but I'm not. Tell her to get over it! It's a dog, HELLO mans best friend! Tell her that her being jealous of the dog is like you being jealous of how much time she spends with her make up! if she doesn't leave you alone on the situation buy a pick up truck some cowboy boots and you and the dog run away! trust me, leave before she pulls the fatal attraction and boils your dog!

Answer 4

Its common enough. I once knew of a couple where the wife gave her husband an ultimatum....to choose either "her, or the dog". She spent the bulk of her time bossing him around and just being a miserable b*tch in general, so it was no contest for him....HE PICKED THE DOG!...and i don't blame him.
True story!

Answer 5

i am a woman and i got rid of everybody that got on my nerves except for my lab.he's the only one that can stay.if men were more like a dog rather than being a dog i would have one.

Answer 6

I smiled when I read your question......I could identify perfectly with you, when I was married. She's gone now, but you know what??? The dog's still GLAD to see me! Keep on what you're doing...the dog will be there for you long after she's gone!! Good Luck!!

Answer 7

Welcome to the world of marriage lol she is bound to be jealous dogs are fab as they ask for nothing and are easily entertained unless you want your dog named on the divorce papers wine,dine and romance your wife and put her higher up than the dog we are all guilty of moaning about our day as soon as we get in but sounds to me like she wants some attention

Answer 8

i'm the same as you, i'd rather hang with my dogs who aren't going to complain than with my family who can't stop complaining. i have explained that to them, and they kinda get it. but i am still nowhere near as nice to people as i am to my dogs (although i do get mad at my dogs sometime, cuz they'll forgive me in the blink of an eye)

Answer 9

Mac...she's your wife. Wife's are put here to bit*h about anything. If it isn't the dog its;

1. Failure to lift/drop the toilet seat
2. failure to help with laundry (or anything else)
3. Your snoring
4. Your "stuff" always under foot.
5. Add anything you want here...you know goddamn well there is plenty more inconsequential, minor, petty and micro-BS.

I have 2 Golden Retrievers. I agree with your analysis. All they want is attention, food, water and to be wherever you are. they're happy to see you when you come home. Sh*t..even if you take out the trash and come back in they act as though you've been gone for a millennium. They require nothing more. Oh sure...no sex..that'll be one of the first things tossed up in your face but you have to say "Baby...that can be had anywhere. Just go to Yahoo...you'll find plenty of women who want affairs". If she gives you the old "You're cut off" my response is "You can't cut me off baby, you don't know where I'm gettin' it from".

Stick with dogs...I'm with you man.

Answer 10

Maybe once in a while. Be careful she might poison your dog.