how would you react if your husband said he would be doing the checkbook from now on?

Question

becuase he don't trust you.He said he wants to know where all the money is going,I said on Bills.we both work and he is very blunt about me not spending any money without asking him.I do not use my checking card inless it is like grocerys,gas and Bills .I get my nails done once a month and Take that money from one of my pay checks.I work 2 differnt jobs.I know how hard he works,he work 10 hrs a day and I work 8 and he thinks since he works more hrs than I he is king,By the way we have 2 kids at home also so I do work more than 8hrs,but thats just my opnion.

Answer 1

Depends. Does he have a reason not to trust you? "Bills" to some people mean utilities, car payment and mortgage. "Bills" to other people mean a new blouse, shoes, hair, nails, things for the kids, lunches, extras at the grocery store.

It's strange that you're working 2 jobs, 8 hours a day and have 2 kids at home. Doesn't child care take up most of your income anyway?

Answer 2

I had to take it from my wife, but that's simply because she would make mistakes and screw up our finances. She didn't believe me that we didn't have as much money as she thought we should, so she took over budgeting and within a month we started bouncing things or not having enough to pay the bills. I almost NEVER put my foot down, but in this case I had to wrestle the bookeeping away from her.
Our finances are transparent - I really just take care of all the necessities and pay bills. What gets done with what's left is a joint decision. I just need her to keep receipts for debit card purchases so I can keep track - I don't really care what she buys, but if she is gonna buy something >$100 she at least has to tell me in case we are cutting it too close.

Answer 3

WOW - first I would tell my husband to go for it. If he thinks he can do the bills and manage the money better than I - have at it pal!

But at the same time under no circumstances would my husband tell what what I can and can't spend my money on. I work full-time (just as you work) therefore why can't we spend it? As long as the bills are paid and the kids are taken care of - spend it. Can't take it with you when you die - so what the heck??

Good luck - I went through a similar situation about a year ago and needless to say my husband is now begging me to take over the finances because he can't handle it - but I am standing strong - making him continue. I do have a separate savings account so I can spend money though. Initially he knew nothing about this account but now he knows about it but has no idea what kind of money is in it.

Good Luck and Happy Thanksgiving!
God Bless you and your family.

Answer 4

My wife and I used to have issues with money, but we found a way to handle things.

First, determine how much your monthly bills are. I'm NOT talking food or clothes. I'm talking about things that are the come every month: rent, cable, car payment, house payment, insureance, electric... etc.
Divide this amount by two this is what EACH of you has to contribute to pay the monthly bills.

Next is your house hold budget and this is where your husband is not understanding where the money is going. I recommend that you pick a weekly dollar amount so your husband can see how fast and how much money it takes to run a house hold. Again you need to divide this number by two and then have again what each of you need to contribute.

I recommend you have one checking account for Bills that one of you will handle and ANOTHER checking account for the House Hold Spending that the other one will handle. If this is done right you both will have the money you need to cover your expenses.

WAIT, I'm not done. You should still have money left over from each of your pay checks. Now I would say both of you pick a dollar amount to put into savings and again each of you put in matching amounts.

Finally, you are left with STUPID MONEY. This is money that is left over from your pay checks that you can spend on anything. What I recommend again is to have his and her accounts. This way you both have money that you can spend or if you are a saver you can save.

Answer 5

Wow sounds familiar. Some men just like control. Control over money is a big issue with some. It happened to me with my ex. I let him do it though to save peace. It didn't stop me from spending what I needed to with an ATM card. Checkbooks seem to be so out dated now days. Controlling a check book meant he had to control all the debts. So the way I looked at it was he was responsible for paying all the bill when they came in and that was one burden off my hands. *PS. Just to let you know that's not why he's my ex. now. I needed to clear that up.

Answer 6

You two need to develop better communication. He is probably either hiding a serious financial problem from you that he feels he needs control over by taking the checkbook or he thinks the money in your account is mysteriously being drained — by you. In any case, he doesn't trust you. That's why you need to sit down with him and have a serious talk about what's really going on.

Answer 7

I guess it depends.

When I got married, I had no debt.

When my ex-wife left, there was $70K in debt.

During the divorce, I paid most of it off while she was gone.

Now that we are divorced, it's all paid off.

Not all men are idiots with money.

Sometimes it's the woman who has no grasp of how to handle it.

I can now save and invest 20% of what I make and live debt free.

It's going to be a long time before I turn over my checkbook to another woman. She will have to demonstrate she is worth my trust.

Answer 8

Raising children is ALOT OF WORK! In a relationship it shouldnt matter who works more.. it should be a partnership! If you aren't spending friviluosly, then you SHOULD be concern as to why suddenly he wants to be doing the books all of a sudden...if you have a controlling husband, then that is just another step to climb with him. Be aware however, partners with control issues tend to get out of hand! Sit down and talk this over... then make your decision from there. Good Luck:)

Answer 9

I would say thank-you, that's one less headache for me.

I would also make sure that I was aware of what he was doing with it by saying that I am just helping with the transition from me to you.

If your not doing anything like you say he can't find anything he may just want to wear the pants in the family for a short while to prove he can and once the thrill wears off he may turn that duty back to you if you want it.

Answer 10

I have a feeling he doesn't realize the real cost of living and the cost associated with raising kids, once he's pay's the monthly bills he will see, let him do it, it's a good experience for all adults living on their own