I am married and I just found out I have a baby on the way, but not with my wife. What to do?

Question

I have been married for 8 years and have three kids. I started seeing another women about six months ago. Around two months ago she made one of my all time fantasy's come true. Her and her roomate had a threesome with me as a birthday present for me. Well fast forward. My girlfriend just told me that her friend that did the threesome with us is prego with my baby. Aparently I am the only one she has been that fits into the time frame. I am freaking out. I can't tell my wife. Her Uncle is my boss. I make alot of money and if this comes out I am ruined. I called the gal and I have offered to pay for an abortion but the gal said no way. I told her I would give her $5,000 upfront plus $700 a month for the kid( anymore and I won't be able to hide it). She said she wants me to play a roll in his life. I am not sure that's possible. Plus I don't want any documentation that says I am the daddy. I know I shouldn't have got in this mess in the first place but I did so now what?

Answer 1

Seriously, I have a few opinions I would like to express. But I'll hold off for a few minutes.

This is gonna come back and get ya, one way or another. Years from when the kid comes and finds ya. Years from now when you're kids meat this one. Days from now, when your girlfriends friend makes a call to your wife. It WILL get back.

You are a cruel, cruel man. How could you do that to your wife and children? What is wrong with you? And you sound like you're more worried with losing your stupid job, than the damage you just did to your wife of 8 years and children.

And yeah I will give you one good thing. It's awesome that you at least offered to pay for that kid. A lot of me won't even do that.

But yeah, ya reap what ya sew.

Answer 2

First off...Shame on you for cheating. Past that...Do you honestly think the type of girl that would have a threesome is the kind of girl who won't sleep around? I have a hard time believing that. As a matter of fact...I'm willing to bet that the baby is not yours. What to do? Well, get her to do a pregnancy test with you present. She might not even be pregnant. You do realize your wife would be crushed if she found this out. You probably should consider telling her, but if you can't bring yourself around to doing that, you should make sure you get a DNA test done when the child is born. If you have created this child with that other women, you're going to be possibly taken through the ringer in the long run even if she seems all cool and calm about it now. If I were you, I would drop the girlfriend. There is NO WAY it's going to work out with her for the fact that you are MARRIED and that you got her roommate pregnant. There is a major concern that this girl is going to black ball you in the long run. If you aren't going to end it with her, then I think you have to at least be honest with your wife and tell her about your affair. If you aren't happy with your wife, then leave her. Your children with your wife are still going to be your children regardless if you're with their mother or not. As far as the other child...Whether or not you have anything to do with it emotionally is up to you, but I almost gurantee that she's going to throw child support on you. DO NOT GIVE HER ANY MONEY UNTIL YOU GET A CONFIRMED PATERNITY TEST DONE!!!! For what it's worth...Good Luck, you've gotten yourself into a really big mess.

Answer 3

Deal with it. I feel sorry for your wife. Do you realize the pain you are going to cause your wife when she finds out. You really should have thought about the consequences of your actions before you did what you did. The only thing to do now is tell your Wife BEFORE anyone else does, and hope she loves enough about you to forgive you. There isn't anything you can do if the other chick doesn't want to terminate the pregnancy until the baby gets here. You need a DNA test when the kid is born. But my advice to you would be to not give the other chick anything until she can prove paternity. She and her roommate could be trying to set you up because you make a lot of money.

Answer 4

Well you took a BIG risk and now you may have to PAY dearly for that one night's pleasure.... don't assume anything, get DNA testing done when the child is born, tell your wife about the affairs and the possibility that you may have fathered a child. It seems you may have been set up and the only precaution you can take is to be upfront with your wife.... because the women involved in that fantasy orgy will spill the beans... since the pregnant one has told you she wants you involved in the child's life and when a woman tells you that , you can count on her coming forward and revealing all the details of the orgy (that may have resulted in her being pregnant.... hopefully your girlfriend isn't pregnant too!)

Answer 5

Sounds like Thanksgiving Dinner will have some interesting conversation. Here are your options:
1. Pray for a miscarriage;
2. Do the right thing and leave your wife (sounds like you didn't want to be married to her anyway). The Uncle PROBABLY won't fire you because you will have to pay her maintenance and child support. Don't tell her about the threesome. Give her anything she wants;
3. Consider the possibility that this ho is shaking you down, and you may have even been set up. Call her bluff. If she was willing to do a threesome with you, she's probably a ho and had many partners.
4. Stop talking on the phone, she's taping you.

Answer 6

Your fault!! there is nothing you can do but be honest at this point with your wife and everyone else involved. even if the other woman agrees with your attempting to pay her off, what is your guarantee that when the kid is 5 she doesn't just show up on your doorstep with some kid that looks just like you.
Then you have to think of the kid. This child is just as much a part of you as your other children, and one day this child will grow up and be VERY bitter with you if you are not there for the child.
You made your bed and now, unfortunately, you have to lie in it.
now, i have to ask, was fullfilling your "all time fantasy" worth basically ruining your life?? hmmmm.... something to think about...

Answer 7

maybe your not really the father,but if a paternity test is given and your wife finds out, she will leave u also, so than u will be paying for 4 children, u certinly are in a mess. guess what goes around comes back to us, we can't hide from it. if u will be playing a roll in the baby's life, than what is that going to do to your marriage and your other kids? her uncle is your boss, so u could even loose your job also. tell your wife, and beg for foriveness, cause it is going to come out anyway.

Answer 8

Well if this woman is decietful enough, she will take you to court for support of the child as well as prenatal care. And subpoena you to a DNA test if you protest that it is your child. Bottom line, you wife will find out. And it is better to tell her now so she will not be blown away when *chit* really gets deep. A marriage should be based on love, trust and honesty. You messed up, admit it to her. Tell her what happened and hopefully she loves you enough to stick beside you. I do not feel bad for you because you did this to yourself. You were man enough to sleep with two ther women and now an innocent child is involved. Be a man now when it really matters and come clean to your wife and take care of your responsibilities.

Answer 9

well i don't feel sorry for you. why did you cheat on your wife. you are so very selfish you don't mention anything about your wife and not wanting to lose her. all you talk about is losing your job. its obvious you don't love or respect your wife. why didn't you leave. the girl you got pregnant sounds scandulous ask for a paternity test. but bascially you are going to get nailed with child support for this new baby and your 3 other kids providing your wife is smart enough to leave your cheating ***. you reap what you sew. tell your wife the truth and accept responsibility. it is also disgusting that you offered to pay for an abortion. this child is still yours no matter how or with who it was conceived why would you offer to help get rid of him or her. your sick and i hope your wife and the baby mamma takes you for all your worth.

Answer 10

So now what?? You do the ADULT thing and fess up to your responsibilities.
There's going to be A LOT of conflict no matter how you slice it. Grab the bull by the horns and fess up. Hopefully, your wife's uncle will realize that you now need the good income because you need to care for another child as well as take care of your wife.