I have tried to tell her that I would like her to make an effort to spending more time with me. But it seems like the more I try to tell her or get mad or try to get her attention she pushes me further away or only agrees to spend time with me like so she won't have to hear it. I don't feel she is sincere anymore in spending time together. She has a very busy job and I told her I understand. She made some excuse that this is her job and she is not used to having to share her time with someone else whatever that's supposed to mean. I'm not trying to pressure her but she never acted like this earlier in the relationship. Now I am worried that I will have to fight an uphill battle the rest of my life. She says that she noticed that I haven't been happy lately but not with much emotion just more of a cold distant factual statement. She told me that if I'm not happy then I neeed to make a choice. I don't know what to do.
2006-11-22 05:44:53 · 19 answers · asked by kws504 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
It sounds like she's already made a choice! She has to be cheating! Women are emotional creatures....if she isn't showing it to you ....then she is transferring it to someone else! I would file for a divorce...sorry...but I would!
2006-11-22 05:57:06 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I fully understand you and the issues with your wife. When you are bipolar, your thoughts and actions are way out of line and it is the real you only difference is the person being bipolar cannot understand that. Taking medications to help over come bipolar is the only way to be sane. I too experience severe depression and I am well aware of the fact when I am not on my meds as I feel awful to the extent of not wanting or listening to any thing. You can get into some severe problems if you do not stay on your medication. You become very mouthy, you can overstep the law by being outspoken and rude, you spend too much money and your thoughts race like crazy. All in all what I am saying is that you are crazy when you are not on your medication. These people can actually take their own or someone else's life if left alone. This is why it is important to keep on the medications and consult your doctor for help and understanding in this situation. You can not just not take the medication and claim you are so much better, there are 2 sides to a personality and being bipolar, or even manic depressant has 2 drastic sides. You become so emotional that you are out of control even though you claim your not. Get her to read all about depression, bipolar and if she claims to be the REAL HER then have her read all the information there is for these symptoms. they will explain all about how you react. But again I know all about these symptoms as I experence them myself. I can be a loner too and want to be by myself but it is lonely and you have no friends this way. You feel mistreated by everyone and not liked and that all in it's self is due to the depression that you have. Good luck to you and get the doctor to help you if you need more for her.
2016-03-29 05:44:41 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am afraid I have bad news. When you express your love and concern to your spouse and all you get back is indifference they no longer care for you. If she still cared for you then noticing that you didn't appear happy would be of great concern for her. Not indifference.
She must now feel she could make it on her own. And the worst part is she may have another man that is giving her that confidence.
What you say here happened with my first wife. She became this way after talking on the Internet. When I confronted her with my fears there was very little concern. And it only got worse. I am married again. She lives alone.
Once you get to this point there is no going back. She has lost the feeling she had for you and nothing you can do will get it back.
Find someone else that will be there for you only.
2006-11-22 06:17:53 · answer #3 · answered by John B 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Based on what you have said here, there is something missing that you either don't know or are not saying.
It sounds like she is either very unhappy and sticking it out because she took vows or, and I'm hoping this is it. She could be in menapause. The mood swings are dramatic and a woman can't control them. They scare us and sometimes we strick out at the person closest to us.
If that's what it is, it will pass and she should see her Doctor there are herbs that she can take to help with the mood swings etc.
If not I suggest you have a heart to heart with her and find out what is happening in her life that is making her so unhappy that she is projecting it onto you. It could be caused by a few things.
If she is in a stressfull job that could cause it temporarilly, or maybe she has just set her sites on something other then marriage and doesn't know how to end it so she is trying to make you end it.
There is no way to know unless you two sit down and discuss it.
Good Luck, I know marriage can have it's ups and downs but there is a very big piece missing from what your telling us so no answer we might give you can be 100%
2006-11-22 05:59:15 · answer #4 · answered by unknown friend 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She's your wife and should be spending more time with you. It sounds like the way she is getting mad about you asking her to spend time with you and telling you to make a choice that she might be spending some time with a co-worker. Think about it very hard you are a little worried that she's having an affair and you might be right.
2006-11-22 05:50:50 · answer #5 · answered by Venus 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How long have you been married? I heard somewhere that after the honey moon phase both partners try to reestablish themselves and their own identity. Maybe she is just doing this. I think it can be very difficult for a woman who cares about her career to also be married, because sometimes you feel like you have to choose between your family and your job and I think men have to deal with this far less. Maybe instead of saying lets spend time together you should go hey this weekend such and such event is going on lets go do that. If she doesn't have time to go then go yourself.
2006-11-22 06:12:11 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'd say you should pull back. Start having plans of your own that dont include her. Dont stress together time and just go with the flow. If she still cares for you then she will start to come towards you. If she doesn't then as she said you will have to make a choice.......stay with her like this or move on.
2006-11-22 05:51:29 · answer #7 · answered by JustMe 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
she has someone else, and yes the relationship between u and her is changed. when this happens we are helpless to do a thing, as they have already made up their minds, and they really don't want us anymore. don't fight this the rest of your life, get out of it, and move on, the hurt doesn't last forever. find someone who is kinder and not so cold to u, really looks as if their is a third party in your marriage. when it happens we are always last to know, but it's just not worth it in life to put up with that. moving on is easy when u think of the alternative and future with her.
2006-11-23 14:46:40 · answer #8 · answered by jude 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would check and find out if she's seeing someone else. Maybe someone at work? She doesn't have the guts to tell you so by pushing you away she's hoping you will get tired and leave first. Then "technically" in her eyes it won't be her fault the marriage didn't work.
2006-11-22 05:48:06 · answer #9 · answered by kathy p 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If she told you to make a choice----make it.Sounds like she's got too much in her life right now.With the statement she made, she sounds tired of you wanting more than she can give right now.Make the decision Her or Freedom........?
2006-11-22 06:02:56 · answer #10 · answered by Maw-Maw 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋