Two months ago he fell sick .He came to my step sister's clinic (which is like 2 states away from where we live) for some tests and I found out he's HIV positive .My best friend's been wanting a baby since she lost her only child to cancer. She's told me she's going to try and get her groove on cos she hasn't had sex in 7 months with her husband.
I convinced my friend to come for some lab tests with me because I was scared.To 'help ' me cope with the needles, she also asked for the same test.We both came out HIV negative.
I don't know what to do, if he infects her I'll never live with myself.HELP PLEASE
2006-11-22 05:11:15 · 33 answers · asked by Bridgybee 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Tell her. You might save her life. I'd be pissed as hell if I found out that you let me become infected.
I think that be close to being criminal.
2006-11-22 05:14:22 · answer #1 · answered by stargate_jumper 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It is completely uneithical (and most likely illegal) for you to have found out his tests results from his doctor or a worker at the clinic!!! No matter the situation, that is wrong and someone in the clinic should lose their job over that.
Why don't you start with just dealing with the cheating aspect with your friend? Maybe if she is convinced of that, she will stop trying to sleep with him.
Ask at the clinic what the rules are in that state, and your home state about notifying partners of people who are HIV positive. Most clinics will contact the partners to give them counseling. There are some states where it is a crime to knowingly have sex/infect someone if you know you have HIV.
Google "hiv+notification laws+your state" and see what you can find.
2006-11-22 05:21:30 · answer #2 · answered by Marie 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
WOW! I know you can't just come out and say what you know about her hubby, because there are privacy laws about that. So if the word got out that you told her...your step sister could be headed for trouble. I would first start by telling her that you have reason to believe he is cheating, AND that he went to another state for blood work. Have her confront him about it. Tell her that she needs to ask him what the testing was all about. I could only hope he would fess up. This is horrible, and can ruin her life with you watching it all happen. You should check into local laws about that and see if there isn't something you can do....would she possibly have rights to his medical records because she would be next of kin? Or is there an emergency contact on his paperwork from his testing? Is it her? I wonder if the clinic can't let her know. It would save her life!
2006-11-22 05:18:14 · answer #3 · answered by amanda r 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
This don't sound right to me --- why would your step-sister inform you about your best friend's husband - when it's the clinic's job to inform the wife about her husband's condition... anyone with a communicable disease is also asked to give names of their sex partners and then the clinic calls them and informs the person(s) that they have been exposed to a STD and they need to come in for testing right away.... I have been in the health care field for over 10 years and that's the way things are handled when someone is diagnosed with an STD.
Here's what is stated on the subject for clinics:# Targeted prevention education for those practicing high risk behaviors, and
# Patient services including confidential and anonymous testing, counseling, and partner notification. There's more but the main focus is preventing the futher spreading of STD's. The Reportable/Communicable Disease Unit includes epidemiology activities directed toward disease
surveillance, prevention, detection, management and control of communicable diseases throughout the
community. This Unit investigates any possible infectious disease reports to assure that proper measures are
taken to stop an outbreak before it occurs.
2006-11-22 05:42:20 · answer #4 · answered by jaimestar64cross 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to tell her, if you were any kind of friend then you need to tell her. Your step-sister could end up liable for disclosure of his medical records to you which is a violation of the HIPPA laws. But I would at least concern yourself with your friend wanting to try and bring a child into this world. It may not affect the child NOW but it could and how fair is that? And just because your friend tested negative now does not mean she will test negative later if they start t o have sex with her husband again. So as a friend what do you think that you should do?
2006-11-22 05:15:49 · answer #5 · answered by melissa052572 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's really not that hard, you need to tell her. You can't have that blood on your hands, and she may not be out of the woods yet. It can take up to 12 months for hiv to show up depending on your friends immune system, the first test coming up negative is good but she needs another one in about 6 months. She may be hurt about having a cheating husband but that is better than dying.
2006-11-22 05:14:54 · answer #6 · answered by bkweeks2000 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
This one is very tricky. I would say tell her but it could also put your sister at risk in losing her job or also possibly going to jail because info like that should never have left her job. I would tell her for her safty and come up with a plan to get him to go to a clinic with her and get tested. I know it sounds bad but I did that for my ex I knew he was cheating and couldint prove it so I had told him I went to the doctor and came back positive for a std I really didint but I made him go and he did come back positive after I left him alone. Tell her to do the same and he cant blame her for cheating because she was negative. you must show her his positve test though for her to believe u.dont go to her without proof otherwise she will never listen.
2006-11-22 05:46:45 · answer #7 · answered by *LDY* 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have to tell her! If you can't because of confidentiallity with your sister's clinic, then find another way without mentioning the clinic. I assume you knew about the affairs before the clinic visit, so why don't you find a way to tell her about the affairs then bring up the fact that he could have STDs....maybe even convince her that she has to insist that he go in with her to get tested if she is going to stay with him.
2006-11-22 05:16:41 · answer #8 · answered by Stormie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The person at the medical clinic should directly contact his wife- you really have no business knowing someone else's medical issues. If your step-sister shared personal information with you and not the man's wife, that sounds highly unethical. The clinic needs to speak to the husband/wife together. Not you.
I'd be a furious if I found out someone was telling someone else about my husband's medical condition, which is life-threatening, and not telling me. WTF is up with that????? This sounds fishy.
2006-11-22 05:18:25 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Baby, you have to tell her...there are somethings we should keep to ourselves between friends and then there are things like this. It's going to hurt her like h*ll but like you said, if you don't say anything and she happens to learn that you've known all along when she does find out? Consider your friendship toast most likely.
Deep breath and give her the gift of life and safety.
Good luck
2006-11-22 05:16:41 · answer #10 · answered by dustiiart 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Then I guess you have a tough decision to make. Shame on you for having to come here for an answer when I think the answer is plainly obvious.
Frankly if you can't make a decision about this on your own then she doesn't need you as a "friend".
Have I made this clear to you?
2006-11-22 05:22:12 · answer #11 · answered by Quasimodo 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋