My bestfriend for 5 yrs and boyfriend for 3 yrs is being emotionally blackmailed into getting married to a girl of his parents' choice (he came to learn the girl's name on the day of his engagement). The reason for this is that they r 4m a very orthodox brahmin family. I know i don't have any choice in the matter now but i feel tat my dreams of sharing a life with my soulmate is shattered. I respect and accept his choice (a duty according to him)but what makes it more hard for me to take is tat he's getting married within a few days time and he's depressed, rings me up and becomes emotional. We had even planned our marriage, the kind of house to build, how many kids to have ......and im watching it crumbling down like a stack of cards. What shd i do to overcome this state???? I've even started having nightmares and its worse when i have to smile thro my pain.
2006-11-22 05:11:11 · 8 answers · asked by garfield 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
The truth of the matter is that there are always choices - though often they are hard and we don't like them. Your bf doesn't have to marry this stranger - he could choose to loose his family (and the emotional and monetary support that goes with that) and be with you. You could move somewhere and start your lives together.
The truth is that he's not choosing this path. He choosing to honor a duty that he never agreed to (sorry, being born doesn't mean he has to give the rest of his life to his parents).
Obviously this is a difficult situation and I really feel for you, but it's his choice and you will need to get over it. Stop seeing him now. Stop accepting his calls. Tell him you'll never see him again unless he breaks it off with this other person - and stick to your guns. Knowing the reality of losing you may bring him around, but even if it doesn't, you need to start the healing process.
2006-11-22 08:35:18 · answer #1 · answered by Wonderland 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have a soulmate, too. He married his "practical" girl... For what it's worth, it was a big bust, and after three years they have a beautiful son, which is the wonderful part... and now I am getting my second chance with him.
Some people don't understand soulmates....
There's no easy answer to this. You could ask him to run away with you and get married..... Or you could know that you will find happiness in your own way. During my time apart from my soulmate, I had another love of a different sort. Not soulmate love, but something pretty intense and very special. I went to Cambodia, I started a company, I had big adventures as a single woman.
You will have a big life, no matter what. Don't let yourself go numb.... and don't lose trust in people, or in God. You can't have soulmates without there being some touch of destiny to this life.
2006-11-22 05:15:42 · answer #2 · answered by Amsterdam 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Get to the bottom of the anger problem first and foremost, otherwise it could potentially ruin all your future relationships too. Counselling will help you do that. Once your ex realises you've made an effort to turn your life around for youself (and not him) he will certainly sit up and take notice. Whether or not it leads to a reconciliation who knows, but at least it's a step in the right direction.
2016-05-22 16:01:05 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
oh i really feel for you over this,you are fighting a losing battle and i think you will soon realize this,i think you need to tell him to stop ringing you,it's not fair on you and will make it harder for you to move on.
the relationship you had with him was obviously not meant to be and you will soon enough find your true soul mate,believe me i know.
i wasted 12 years of my life on someone who in the end didn't want the things i wanted,i stayed single for 2 years and eventually my current boyfriend came along and we now have a daughter,i believe in fate,what will be,will be.
i hope you get through this,be strong and keep smiling.
good luck x
2006-11-22 05:19:16 · answer #4 · answered by Bird 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He is allowing himself to be emotionally blackmailed. If my bf of 5 yrs told me this I wouldn't even be able to look at his face anymore. That in itself would turn me off of him so much that I wouldn't have much problem getting over him. Good riddens.
2006-11-22 05:17:47 · answer #5 · answered by JustMe 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
oh god honey you are goin thru something hard...i know how it is to lose your soul-mate i lost mine 3 years ago...the best thing for you to do is to think of your self and your future...yes it is hard and you will hurt for a long time...i still miss mine...you always will...but if he does really love you something will happen...if it is meant to be it will...but no matter what life is confusin in its own sad way...chin up and remember you still are alive and have to move on in your life...maybe later if you can handle it you can still be friends...i am wit mine and it makes me happy to know that he is happy cuz that is all you really want for someone you love... But do not lose hope in him or your love for...talk to him and ask him if he really does not want to do this he does not have to...and if his parents love him in time they will understand!
2006-11-22 06:03:06 · answer #6 · answered by kat 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he was your TRUE soulmate, he would leave his family for you.
He is NOT yours even though you feel you are his.
2006-11-22 05:16:33 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
if its true love, fight for him
2006-11-22 05:28:25 · answer #8 · answered by foreveryoung 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋