Married for 15 years. Have three children. Husband hates me. He's an alcoholic. Everything I say or do is wrong according to him and he won't leave because of money. Bending over backwards to try to weather this out. Not fighting with him anymore, just not speaking. It's like talking to a wall anyway.
2006-11-22 04:52:13 · 17 answers · asked by Brenda M 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
That sounds horrible! I don't know how anyone could continue in a situation like that!
2006-11-22 05:19:53 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I have been in your situation. Actually, I was married to him for 18 years. We had four children. At the time of the divorce, two (twins) were 18, one was 13, and one was 11. I stayed because I thought it was the right thing, and for the kids. Dumb mistake!!! The kids now have a warped idea of what a marriage relationship should look like. We all suffered. Believe it or not, one year later, my ex-husband and I are both happy, our kids are happy, I am VERY HAPPILY remarried, he rarely drinks and is engaged. We get along GREAT!!! People wonder why we got divorced. It is because some people just weren't meant to be together. They are both healthy and happy apart. If you won't get out for yourself, get out for your kids. They deserve better. So do you! If you need to "talk", e-mail me through my profile.
2006-11-22 13:01:04 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
What the hell are you doing woman don't make him do that to you if he is waisting time let him go ( alcohol ) that means that he is capable of doing anything and don't you bend backward for him he is not worth it.
Which money girl you better check yourself you are powerful and i know that you can do anything in this world if you put your mind to it but being a slave for that trash i s not one thing please time is precious give him the treat men let him suffer men always think that they are all the in a bag of chips we are. I know you need a beautiful family no arguing that's what i am talking about, no stress,just stay calm i know he wants you to beg don't do it leave him to realize that if he ever wants to leave girl run for the door and open it to him let him go never try to keep a man when he wants to go. I know that you are strong when one door close girl i know another will open don't you let your daughter or son see the type of behavior the 2 of you have teach them to love others and respect that man needs to be taught a lesson put down your foot and shout at him let him know you had 3 kids, and what did he decide to do after leave, girl fight for your relationship let him know that it is 15 years not 1,2,3,4 15 long, hard, road so fight girl i know that you can do it.
2006-11-22 13:06:50 · answer #3 · answered by cute_girl_shantie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My biological father was and still is an abusive alcoholic. My mom left him when I was about 6 years old. When I was 13, my step-father (who is an awesome guy) adopted me and became my father. My biological father still tries to contact us but he hasn't changed. Alcoholism drastically effects children. Sometimes leaving a situation is a good thing, especially when there are children involved. Your children are the unfortuntate victims of alcoholism. They understand what you're going through. Your husband needs help, if he's not willing to get it, maybe the marriage isn't worth it. You deserve to be happy. If this situation is making you miserable, you really don't need someone to tell you what to do. Good luck, take care!
2006-11-22 13:05:33 · answer #4 · answered by sioballen 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think personally I'd tell him that the booze leaves or you leave, kids and all.
Let him decide.
I'm not saying divorce, I'm saying find a safe place for you and the kids and let him experience the consequences of his actions.
If he wants to change, then he will change. It may take a crisis in his life for this to happen.
Is it easy? No. But sometimes for good things to happen, tough steps must be taken.
I am not saying this as an ultimatim, but for you to state a boundary and then enforce the boundary if he tries to cross it. Tell him you will no longer live with a hateful drunk, or even a jolly drunk. His choices are he can change his ways, or you and the kids will move out.
If he seeks real help, then please, be there for him. If he tells you, you are wrong, then tell him you are going to go somewhere to be wrong on your own, and let him be right all alone.
2006-11-22 13:02:25 · answer #5 · answered by camys_daddy 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
So why don't you leave him. What is he going to do? NOTHING... I mean if you are that miserable, think of how miserable your kids are, and is it fair to them to keep them in this situation? NO it is not... So get yourself some help from friends and you leave. If there is a house involved deal with that later with a judge and an attorney, IF he has no money he isn't going to be able to fight you and win, which I doubt he would win anyways with his alcohol problem. Just stop and think of your kids and their feelings and emotional stability.
2006-11-22 13:01:57 · answer #6 · answered by melissa052572 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm sure it's possible to continue like that, but is it healthy for your, your husband and mostly your children. Your children are going to grow up thinking that a relationship like yours is normal. Also, try contacting Alernon, it may be that a lot of your problems with your husband stem from his alcohol use.
Good Luck!
2006-11-22 12:58:10 · answer #7 · answered by mommafrog 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's tough. Be very mindful of how this affects the kids. My parents didn't speak to each other for years at one point and my brothers and I couldn't stand being in that house more than necessary. Your hubby needs to go to AA, or you need to go and get information on how to deal with an alcoholic.
Is there anywhere you can go and take your kids? Parent's house? Brother or sister? The kids will suffer the most from this situation.
2006-11-22 12:56:52 · answer #8 · answered by tipper 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think you should file the paperwork yourself. You should not have to be in that situation and neither should the kids. Your children could possibly learn to feel comfortable in the situation and grow up to find themselves it the same thing and not now how or even want to fix. You deserve someone who loves and cherishes you.
2006-11-22 13:00:21 · answer #9 · answered by Bernadette D 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How are your children doing in this situation? They need to be your priority here and I can't imagine this is good for them. I don't think its possible to continue this way. My parents had an unhealthy relationship and to this day it upsets me that my mother did not respect herself more to get out the situation -- she chose to be a victim. Don't do that to yourself.
2006-11-22 12:57:27 · answer #10 · answered by I'm Trying 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
DON'T TORTURE UR SELF FOR THE CHILDREN HONEY IT IS NOT WORTH IT BECAUSE U MAKE URSELF MISERABLE JUST PUT UR HEAD UP LOOK FORWARD NOT BEHIND U AND THINK OF UR HAPPINESS FOR A CHANGE NOT HIS OR THE KIDS. IM SURE UR KIDS WILL UNDERSTAND WHY U MADE THE DECISION. GET THE HECK OUT AND BREATHE SOME CLEAN AIR
2006-11-22 13:08:28 · answer #11 · answered by NONE OF UR BIZ!!!!! 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋