Is it normal?

Question

I'm 38 weeks pregnant and it seems the only thing that my boyfriend and I have in common is fighting right now. Is that normal? We get into huge fights (completely non-violent, don't worry) at least once a week and it makes me wonder "is it worth it"

We didn't used to fight, ever (we've been together for 3 years now) and I'm afraid once baby gets here that things aren't going to get any better. Help?

Answer 1

After money, the birth of a child is the biggest factor in splitting up a relationship. It doesn't have to be, but if you don't talk about it and deal with it it can push you apart. For the boyfriend the baby can make him feel displaced and cut off from you. In a sense anyone in the household's needs are going to be put to the side for a while so the baby can be #1 on the priority list. This is necessary for its survival. However, that means you will have less intimacy with your boyfriend for a while, he may feel neglected and even jealous of the baby. The impending change in priorities may be making him nervous and tense while you are likely feeling more irritable from the hormones resulting from pregnancy. You two need to calm down and talk about your relationship and any issues about the arrival of the baby.

Oh, and YES it is completely normal!

Answer 2

You are both probably just stressed about the arrival of the new baby which is normal. Your hormones are out of whack which may make your more confrontational or overly sensitive. Try to give your guy some space and dont pick at old fights. If youre lucky when the baby comes the two of you will come together in an effort to be the best parents you can be. You may fight less as you have a distraction from eachother (the baby) or you may fight more because you are stressed and sleep deprived.

Answer 3

You are more emotional now that you are pregnant so that could be the cause of the fights. If so you need to take the responsibility and talk to him about your raging hormones. If he is just being a jerk now, then maybe he is stressed out and under pressure preparing for the baby. It is not uncommon to fight alot during a pregnancy, but you need to get it in check so you don't hurt the baby from being stressed out. You need to recognize when your emotions are getting the better of you and tell him that is what is going on. As long as you guys can work it out and forgive each other then you will be fine. The stress does not go away after the baby gets here either so you need to get good at working at your problems. But to answer your question, yes it is normal.

Answer 4

It's perfectly normal. You have extreme hormonal activity in your body, and fighting happens all the time between couples--sometimes throughout the entire pregnancy. I know with my first child, my husband and I fought all the time over silly things. And he has always said, "We made it through you being pregnant; we can make it through anything." And it's true. After the baby comes, you both will be so thrilled, that you will find fighting as a thing of the past. Also, he is probably nervous about the delivery, as well as yourself. It will all work out. Congratulations, and I hope you have a healthy, safe delivery.

Answer 5

Having a baby is not easy on a relationship. So many changes for everyone involved. Communication is so important. Appreciate each other for your strengths. Talk about things that bother you. Include your boyfriend in most or all decisions you make due to the baby.

Good luck. Best wishes. The posters before me made some really good points.

Answer 6

He is very stressed out right now. My husband was the same way and we had alot of arguments near the end of the pregnancy too. He is just nevous about the baby coming and wondering if he will be a good dad. Don't worry it will get better once the baby comes. Best of Luck to you and hang in there sweetie.

Answer 7

I had a similar problem with my fiance..It has to do with your horomones and your body under going so many weird changes!! I was the same way I wanted him to help me with things, do things for me, and no matter what I did or said I would ignite a fight and make him go mental..Some of the time yes it was my fault but he needed to understand that he was fighting with me when i couldn't help it and for no apparant reason..I was all fat and pregnant and upset because my body was getting bigger and I was heavier and he just wanted to go about his everyday life and act like everything was normal..NOT NORMAL I tell ya and men will never know until they get all fat and heavy...Anyways after we had our daughter things kind of lightened up but not really. This is due to ME having to do everything though and him going out with his friends and working on his cars and stuff and me having to be a single parent 24/7..My fiance doesn't understand that i can't just go out and do stuff by myself, that I have a passenger that needs my constant attention all the time..I don't think he will ever get that, he fights with me until I say JUST GO!!! I have a couple of things you can do so you don't end up like this and you guys have a strong healthy relationship..
1) Make sure he knows to help out with feedings,diaper changes,etc
2) Each of you needs time away from the baby each day for at least 15 minutes
3) House work will be divided amongst both of you so nobody feels over loaded
4) Let somebody you both trust look after the baby, especilly when it is younger so it cant make strange and GO OUT together
5) Never let the bond between the 3 of you break, promise eachother you will sit and work things out
Remember that its important to not fight in front of baby as they know what it going on..She/He needs both parents..You also need to work on something that I am working on..Compromisation...Its not always about you and the baby but about him as well, listen to how his day was, etc...Im having problems listening and being attentive right now but I am working on it! Good luck honey and follow my steps and you guys will do great...Trust me I am in the same position..

Answer 8

Don't forget your hormones are raging and he probably feels it. He might be a little stressed at the thought of having a child to take care of. Give it awhile once he See's his precious child he might change. It really brings couples together even more. Don't forget that there will be hard times and you are going to fight that is just part of relationships. Take a deep breath and think to yourself is whatever we are arguing about really worth arguing. Keep strong that's why god made you a woman.

Answer 9

he is probably made you are not the way you normally are because you are going through changes on the road to parenthood to the both of you and you have hormonal changes and he doesn't understand, it's not worth it and the baby will be stressful at time, just take a deep breath and go with the flow, it'll be fine.