What do you say??? (read details please)?

Question

My wife's family is giving her a hard time about her decision to breastfeed our baby. They have gone as far as telling her that she isn't welcome in their homes if she is going to breastfeed there. When we told her neice (30-something year old with three kids) that it's natural, she said "We'll how about I just go take a dump in your yard...that's natural too."
The best rebuttal I've come up with so far is: "If breastfeeding in public makes people uneasy because the breasts are considered sexual, then bottle-feeding must be the equivalent of whipping out a dildo."
Do you have anything else that we might be able to use to get her family to understand it's not wrong to breastfeed?

Answer 1

wow no offense but they sound off their rocker :) yikes! You shouldnt have to deal with that with a brand new baby, every one should be happy for you!

Plus how did ppl feed their babies before their was formula? Before there were bottles?
Did you tell them that the mothers breast milk gives the babys a better head start on life? It gives them better antibodies and all sorts of stuff. Try searching breast milk or breast feeding on the internet it will bring all the pro's and cons (although there really are no cons)
Plus boobs were not invented for mans entertainment....they were made for the purpose of feeding babies...thats why they have milk ducts ........hello.
Sorry you have to go through that i hope this helps a little. We are breastfeeding our little one when she gets here in March

Answer 2

Serious issues here... I'm sorry. My family haven't been supportive of my breastfeeding my daughter either, but they've never come out and said anything as severe as that... it's more innuendos here and there about how 'strange' it must be to breastfeed. It helps I no longer live in the same country, let alone city, but I dont think it could ever have gotten as bad as them barring me from their homes.

When I have people over visiting, unless they are a close girlfriend of mine, I always will take my daughter and I into a separate room to nurse her. It's more that my daughter wouldnt concentrate on nursing if there is someone else around her, but I find there isnt much anyone can object to if they dont see you do it. I cant tell if it's so bad that if your wife was to breastfeed in a separate room and everything they wouldnt let her in the door or what. Dont go over there then! How sad to say that, and your poor wife to be having to deal with this on top of everything else (that whole labour part is enough to knock you over for awhile, then you have a crying newborn to take care of 24/7), but she doesnt need their negativity. Breastfeeding is the RIGHT thing to do, I hope she stays confident in her decision. 'Taking a dump in your yard' is being equated to breastfeeding? Who are your in-laws!?! Breastfeeding is primarily done by educated women - educated enough to know it's the best way to nourish your child, that there are lots of reasons for both the mother and the baby to continue, educated enough to know when to completely ignore the ignorant. And they are very ignorant, you dont do this to family!! You support each other.

And this is just my own opinion, but I would tell your wife NOT to pump milk for a bottle... I would stand firm and say that this is the way your baby eats. If the family doesnt like it, the family loses the three of you for any sort of visits or holidays. Did you tell them they must breastfeed their children while in your home?

Answer 3

I agree with Shane, if they are convinced it's "gross" there is not much you can do to convince them otherwise. They are obviously uninformed and ignornant.
I say GOOD FOR YOU two that you realize it is the best gift you can give your baby. There is a ton of information out there on all the benefits for baby and mom too. You could share it with them if you actually think they might read it!
All I can think of to tell them is that they have some SERIOUS issues if they can only look at breasts as sexual objects. Sex was never the purpose of women's breasts.
Women should NOT have to be isolated or shut away to nurse their baby. Women have a right to breastfeed anywhere a woman has a right to be.
I say avoid the whole clan until she weans!!
Good luck and congrats!

Answer 4

Forget about coming up with the perfect rebuttal - there isn't one. Continuing the bickering back and forth with each of you trying to change the others mind will be an exhausting and futile waste of time. Your wife's family has some issues that they need to deal with. They have obviously come up with some misguided opinions about breast-feeding. Your first concern is your wife and your child. While it will be hard on your wife, you will probably have to make some difficult decisions with this matter. If it has been made clear that you and your breast feeding baby are not welcome at a family member's home, then your wife should either call or write a note simply stating that you are both disappointed that breast feeding is not considered welcome in their home, but it is your baby and your decision to give him/her the best nutrition so you will respect their opinions and not come to their home. If your wife simply can't bring herself to do this, do it for her making sure the recipient of the note or call know that you are united in this. It is always wise to pick your battles, but the health and welfare of your child are worth fighting for. Refuse to engage in a discussion about it. Repeat your intention for your baby to be breast fed and move on to another subject or excuse yourself from the conversation.

Answer 5

Breastfeeding is natural and a beautiful bonding experience for mother and child. Your wife and you are quite the troopers for continuing to nurse despite such negative criticism. My heart goes out to you. Sometimes nursing can be difficult while having a supportive family. My family thought nursing was a private affair and should not be done around them. Because I respected them, I did it privately while around them. I often told them I was putting the baby to sleep and retreated to a bedroom. However, if standing up for what is natural is important, I suggest going to www.kellymom.com. This website has a wonderful article with many ways to deal with critics. Just click on breastfeeding and scroll down. Hope this helps and hang in there.

Answer 6

breastfeeding is the best thing that you can do for your baby. i don't understand why your family seems to think that they will be able to see your wife's breasts when she breastfeeds. I have breastfed in full open view of the public (a bench in the middle of the mall) and no one even knew that i was doing it. ask them how they thought people fed their children before bottles and formula. i also don't understand why they are raising such a stink about something that is really none of their business. i guess if they don't like it, they don't have to see you guys.

Answer 7

Not only is breastfeeding natural but it's best for the baby. Studies have shown that a mother's milk actually promotes more brain development (and overall smarter children) than feeding them with formula, at least up to a certain age.

Answer 8

One thing you could say is that the law protects moms in PUBLIC places in all states. Anywhere a woman and her child can go publicly they can also breastfeed in public.

You probably won't change their minds, just know that they're wrong, but the laws won't help you on private property. If THEY choose to sexualize your wife's breastfeeding, they are sick!

But remember it's their house. Maybe she could breastfeed in a private area when she's at their house.

Answer 9

No. It's not wrong to breastfeed. Apparently someone has put it through other peoples mind that it is. And if she is not welcomed in theior house because she is breastfeeding then I personally would say this: if your wife loves her family and the family loves her then they will understand her reason for breastfeeding and if your wife knows how her family is and their digust with something natural as breastfeeding: tell her to use the breast pump. Saves time and there is no reason for an argument during the holidays.

Answer 10

I have to admitt when i had my son I wasnt goign to breastfeed him, but when he was born he had alot of birth defects he was born with, (non of which was my fault, ti just happend), anyways, after hearign all he would go through, I decided right then & there to breastfeed, becuase of that my son is now healthier, happier, & dosntget as sick as he wouldve had he not have gotten the vitamins, or mothers milk he needed, as opposed to formula.

ask your family, how often there kids getsick, if they say ALOT, then tell them "I REST MY CASE, HAD YOU HAVE BREASTFED, DO YOU THINK YOUR CHILD WOULD BE SO SICK??"
Also let them know that theres a really good reason God gave us breast to breastfeed our children (at OUR choice), & made it to where we produce milk for the baby! Its a natural thing!
If its teh fact, they dotn like to see a boob, tell them this...................DONT UNDRESS IN FRONT OF A MIRROR, HEAVEN FORBID, YOU JUST MIGHT SEE A BOOB, AND I'M NOT TALKING ABOTU HTE ONES GOD GAVE HER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

NOT ONLY THAT, IF YOUR NOT SUPPOSE TO BREASTFEED, WHAT DID THEY DO BEFORE THERE WAS EVER ANY FORMULA AROUND, THEY WOUDLNT LET HTERE CHILDREN JUST DIE!

If i sound mean, i must apologize, but seeing what my son went through, & other chidlren like him, this is something I feel very passionate about!