do your teenagers/pre teen drive u crazy?

Question

I have a 14 yr old girl and a 12 yr old son and all they do is bicker back and forth...complain........they are the most negative kids....If its not an xbox or a computer, they are NOT interested....they dont help me do anything and complain when i ask for help....they dont get into trouble and have great grades, etc but they are MISERABLE to be around. It makes me hate being a parent at times.

I envisioned the holidays baking, putting up decorations, shopping...just having good family fun, but they ruin everything...it makes me want to crawl up in the bed and say to hell with it.

Answer 1

12 and 14 are awkward years. It's not fun, but they'll outgrow all their bickering. Just make sure they always resolve it so it doesn't grow into adult hating of the siblings.

As for the holidays, be FORCEFUL! Tell them if THEY want this to be a good holiday, THEY can make it so or THEY can not make it so. It's up to them. And don't give in either. For example, if you tell them to help you decorate and they start arguing with each other on who does what, first warn them. Then LEAVE. And tell them if they want the decorating done to do it themselves. You don't have to be serious, but give them a good scare :-)

Answer 2

Oh yes! Another parent out there that has kids from hell! I love it! Well maybe that sounds terrible, but I can relate! I have a 14 year old boy and 9 year old girl. Now i have to admit most of the time they are quite good, they can get along really well. (usually when they are ganging up on me:( ) But I tell you what, when they get started, they dont shut up! My son is probably the one who starts it most of the time, but my daughter gets him going.

He has days when he 'wants to be alone', and she just loves hanging out with her big brother. I actually remember what it was like being a teenager, I was always alone and I understand what if feels like for him. I just let him be.

My kids complain when I ask them to do things to. But I do this. If I ask Dan to do the dishes and he doesn't because 'he's too tired'. that's fine. When he asks whats for dinner? My reply is "I'm too tired". I'm not kidding you, try it.! I gave up nagging a long time ago, nagging DOES NOT AND WILL NOT work. The more you nag, the more they dont listen. (personal experience here, not saying you nag or anything.)

I dont know where you live, but mine ar the same: if it's not the computer or sony, they aren't interested. But I've been taking them to the park, or the beach. Just doing little things like that. Even things like helping in the garden starts out like it's such a chore, but in the end, they really enjoy helping me.

I'm not actually sure what the answer is, i just really wanted to tell you you aren't alone! Lots of us have teens that give us the s h i t s. Do what I so sometimes. Crawl back under the doona and say 'it's too hard'!

GOOD LUCK!

Answer 3

There must be something in their environment that is making them feel this way. My brother and I always bickered back and forth but its because I felt that he got away with everything and was a spoiled brat. Talk to your kids, ask them if there is something truly bothering them. Don't give up on your kids, at this age they really need you. My mother died when I was 13 and my father remarried 3 months later, my life has been hell ever since. Im 24 years old now and miss my mother very much

Answer 4

I understand what you mean... I have 4 children and my 14 year old son is the oldest and he complains too me all the time about being so much older then his brothers and sister.

My middle son is 7, my daughter is 4 and my most recent baby boy born Nov. 2nd is about 19 days old. I have a problem with my 14 year old because he lies alot. My 7 and 4 yr old are fighting all the time and that drives me nuts.. I need a vacation from my children... Good Luck too you, talk too your children because they are older and find out why they act that way...

Answer 5

Sign of the Times...,
I have 2 knucklehead boys (16, 14)., can't trust them to do the right thing if their mother, and I aren't there, but I made a promise to my GOD that no matter how hard it turns out to be, I would do my best to raise these young men to the best of my ability. Marriage is hard, but parenthood is the hardest job any of us will ever face. Keep a chin up, always do what you think is best, don't allow your children to control what you know in your heart is the correct thing to do, and when all is said, and done, and they are raising your grand-kids, and complain to you about their children, take a step back, and tell them "I thought you knew everything", with that twinkle in your eye, and a smirk on your face...

Answer 6

It is time to go on strike. You need help. This is a crazy way to try to live. You are being held hostage by two pubescent children. Whose life is this anyway and who is in charge here? Do you have a partner to help? I think you must reassert your place by demanding two things: respect and cooperation. That's the bottom line. Respect for everyone in the house. No yelling. No fighting. And cooperation because if you are old enough to make the mess, you are old enough to clean it. Including your own laundry. Those are the guidelines. If they are not accepted, you are on strike. No more meals. No more rides. No more laundry. No more money. If it is going to be every man (or woman) for himself, so be it. Drastic times call for drastic measures. It is time for you to get some backbone and stand up for what is right as the mother.

Answer 7

Teenagers are a pain in the butt.

But part of being a parent it requiring them to act like real people and not monsters. Its no different than expacting your 6 year old to act respectfully and pleasantly, its just about 13 times harder with teenagers.

Doesnt mean you put up with it. Hormones arent an excuse to feel, act, and behave however you want to. They dont have that right, and you have a duty to make them act differently.

Answer 8

Yes, bullying CAN drive someone crazy, unfortunately. I believe Virginia Tech was a bullying case? I may be thinking of the wrong school though. I know for a fact there was at least one news story about a kid who killed/did something bad because of bullying.

Answer 9

I know exactally how you feel. I have a 14 yr old daughter and she is a nightmare, she is an only child and gets everything she wants( although she doesn't think so ) Speaks to us as if we are the kids and she is the adult. Like you say, she has fantastic grades and doesn't get into trouble, but n
my god don't you just want to scream sometimes,,, so here goes.......AAAAAARRRRGGGGGGHHHHHHHHH......I feel better now......:o)

Answer 10

I really don't have problems like that...I mean, sure I like the computer, but I'm aware that I can have fun outside the electronic world. I have a notebook, I really like to write and draw in it...I enjoy playing hide-and-seek with my cousins...but I usually write most of my stories with MS Word, and if I'm working on a story and someone asks me to do something pretty small with them (i.e., drive to McDonalds with them), I WILL decline. Still, I do know how to spend my time wisely.