hes a family members x's (never married!) nephew... (no its not a case of my friends uncles sisters aunt... lol!) they have reunited several times since i started seeing him (the nephew), but i cant let on that it is him. the guy im seeing wants to come spend time with me (not just for sex, alot of the time he will just lie there with me!) and can be romantic at times, but will not admit his feelings for me, ive never had someone who is not interested in wanting to be with me want to lie next to me without wanting something. how can i ask him without him bolting!? i am willing to "come clean" bout us too - he refuses to because he thinks "the sh*t would hit the fan" if people knew
2006-11-22 02:03:09 · 19 answers · asked by myimmortal000 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Does he only want to lie in bed with you, or is he equally pleased by going out places with you. It sounds like if he's able to lie there in bed next you you without sex, that you have a way of making him feel very relaxed and comfortable. You 'ease his pain of the day' so to speak.
Ask him if he wants to make the relationship between the two of you official, or if he wants to keep it sexual. That's is an indirect way of asking him to reveal his feelings.
As far as 'coming clean' about the two of you, why? Do you need to? You don't neccessarily have to sneak around and see him, but you don't have to tell other people your business either.
2006-11-22 02:19:59 · answer #1 · answered by Mister 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is not something you can push with him or force him to do, if you do you will lose him all together. Just tell him how you feel when you are lying there with him and if he maintains his feelings of keeping it a secret, you will have to respect that. After all it is his family. Then the choice is yours whether you stick it out with him or move on. The fair thing to do would be to give it some time but not forever.
2006-11-22 10:12:01 · answer #2 · answered by Elvira 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ive been in a situation before simular to this it wasnt a ex's family member or anything like that but it was a relationship that just had to be kept secret. my advise is to convince him to let the cat out of the bag and tell everyone if you all are serious about a relationship, and yes the s*** may hit the fan but time will heal that and eventually everyone will get over it.....good luck to you and hope it all works out for ya
2006-11-22 10:06:58 · answer #3 · answered by bshelby2121 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you are serious about this person then tell, i have been in the same situation, except i got pregnant and had to explain who the father ws etc... i wish i had just let everyone know as it made it harder to deal with knowing i was pregnant, and alot of people felt betrayed as we had lied for so long! Honesty is the best policy!
2006-11-22 10:08:35 · answer #4 · answered by missy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like you CAN and he can't. IF a guy really wanted to be with you and valued having you in his life in that way, he would not bolt, so just go ahead and ask! And as for everyone else, as long as its not incest, no one should really have an issue with it.
You guys are associated but not related... thats like dating your best friend's ex. No big deal.
Good luck.
2006-11-22 10:18:31 · answer #5 · answered by HE'S NOT INTO ME 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He doesn't want the family to know because its against the book of rules they live by and its not right in their eyes to date X's family etc. morals they call it... and he doesn't want to be in trouble if you and him come out in the open about the relationship so he wants to remain shhhhh about it all. Because if they found out about you and him then he won't be aloud to be around you anymore.....juliet!
Either that his family thinks that he is with someone else and he has to be honest in a relationship with his other girlfriend if thats the case....... Does he have a girlfriend his family knows about and didn't tell you about her?
2006-11-22 10:14:14 · answer #6 · answered by Damzel in distrust 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sweet heart this is not a very nice road you are travelling, as i see it you are going to get hurt Why? because his relationship is not completely over he still has feelings emotional feelings, with his x, he is not ready he needs time to understand what he is going through, and he doesn't want to go through it alone, you just being there lying next to him gives him comfort. he doesn't want to come " clean" because he does not want to let go if there is a chance of a reconciliation .
2006-11-22 10:14:12 · answer #7 · answered by michele d 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you have to keep it a secret it's wrong in more ways than one. Wouldn't you rather be with someone who cares enough about you to tell anyone he's with you? If you can't admit you're seeing each other, then maybe you shouldn't be doing it.
2006-11-22 10:07:34 · answer #8 · answered by lovelee1 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I feel you should tell your Family how you and him feel about eachother . If he doesnt want to have sex with you that means he's interested in you and not the sex so just give him a chance because if you were in his situtation you wouldnt want him to pressure you about having sex.
2006-11-22 10:22:34 · answer #9 · answered by Tamia J 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yes - what you are doing is immoral. You need to stop sleeping with him immeadiately. However, in order to quench your unquenchable thirst for lovin - in the intermin I will allow myself to be used as a proxy. Please note I normally charge big bucks for this service, however in the spirit of international brotherhood/sisterhood (which is what you are participationing in right now) - I will do it for free - again, and again, and again till you are cured.
Sincerely
Agent 0010 & 1/2
2006-11-22 10:08:38 · answer #10 · answered by davidlhennessey 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋