2006-11-22 01:58:07 · 23 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Pregnancy
Could you live easier knowing that you killed your child without giving it any chance for a life, or would you live easier knowing that someone, be it the state or adoptive parents, are providing it with all the things it needs to grow into a functional human with dreams and goals?
Ive known both kinds of women. My cousin had an abortion 24 years ago... and she still cries about it and feels horrible.
My friend who gave a baby up for adoption is curious about his life, but certainly not guilty.
2006-11-22 02:00:42 · answer #1 · answered by amosunknown 7 · 2⤊ 3⤋
I wont judge you. I don't believe in abortions but I do not scold anyone who does. If you abort your baby that is it no turning back. Adoption: You can give your baby a good home and you can even have an open adoption too where you and the new mom would talk about seeing the baby or you could just ask for pictures and letters that is up to you on an open adoption. I am trying to have a baby and have been trying to have a child for a while now. In January I am going to find a good doctor and find out if I can have children. There are many people in this world that would love to have babies and they can't so if you don't want a baby right now you can give it to someone who does. You should look into your choices before deciding and I don't mean look on the internet I mean actually go and talk to the people that make adoptions happen or at the abortion clinic. I once ran across a site by accident ( My mom was looking at buying a new home and the home website I got two letter mixed up ) well it took me to an abortion site it was awful....I don't remember the site or I would give it to you so if you did want to see it but that site was done by an ex abortion doctor that had turned Christian.....it was showing that the fetus is a baby when you do abort it cuz most people think it isn't so they don't have to think about it and where do they go? In the trash it showed them all piled up. I know this may sound like I am judging you but I am not...I just think you should explore your options before you do something that you can't take back. I seen that on Dr. Phil too, I also watch General Hospital which is a soap oprea but on it a girl just got an abortion and she is regreating it because she got it cuz she didn't think that the father would love the baby or her mom would want it because she thought that she wasn't wanted . What ever you do you will need to get counseling to try and start the healing process. I don't know if you believe in God or not but if you do than try and think why did he bless you with this child??? Was it for you to keep and raise and teach you something or was it for you to be a carrier and then give the baby to someone that can't have them????/ ~EXPLORE ALL YOUR OPTIONS FIRST~
2006-11-22 02:42:40 · answer #2 · answered by Niña 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If abortion does NOT cause more mental problems or hardship vs giving the baby up for adoption, it is my OPINION that it ought to because _with the exception of certain circumstances- abortion is murder, and murder should include some serious baggage. At least giving the infant a chance at living a life, well, that can't have too many psychic repercussions, can it? And there is always the possibility of reconciling with the child later on down the road.
2006-11-22 02:06:36 · answer #3 · answered by The Mystic One 4 · 0⤊ 2⤋
I dont agree with abortion as a excuse to have sex get pregnant and then just not want to have a baby. That I feel is wrong. I would have a hard time giving my child up for adoption because I would know my baby is some were out there in the world and not with me. I dont think I could do either one.
2006-11-22 02:00:18 · answer #4 · answered by atc 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You are asking a VERY opinionated question here that you are going to get diverse answers on. I can tell you what I think, but you are ultimately going to have to live with what you decide. EVERY action has a consequence you are going to have to live with when forced to choose like this, all I can say is think not only about yourself, but the unborn baby, others and the past that you will dwell on. First yourself - if you got pregnant b/c of unprotected sex or just aren't ready, well, I do beleive there are much better options than abortion. That baby is one amazing "being" growing inside of you that is a miracle all in itself. The heart starts beating before you realize it and the very, very first sonogram you can see that it is a little person. Others - there are couples out there that want desperately to have a child of their own and can not. They must turn to outside sources and hope that they have enough money to adopt from someone who was faced with the option of abortion and chose not to - like you do now. If you are not ready for a baby, that is ok, as long as you can admit it. Do right from here on out and maybe provide a chance for someone else to love a mistake that you made in your life....... abortion or adoption - in the end, you will not be the one with the baby, so why not have that precious little baby and allow someone the love that you have to GIVE. Give a life to someone else to cherish, don't TAKE. Past - if you are asking about mental hardships now, you must already know well enough that both of these options will leave you with some heartache, but one, in my opinion, will haunt you forever (abortion). So, you made one mistake and aren't ready to take care of the outcome - a baby - that's ok, there are so many resources and people will actually pay for ALL of your medical costs to be able to adopt this child from you. I have friends who are pregnant as we speak, unfortunately, there child is not well and they must make a decision on if they will let this child go to term and if they will be able to have another without risk of the same genetic problems..... these are some of the people that want desperately a child more than anything and CAN'T have a healthy one. It sounds that you COULD - give that gift if you really, really can. I do not believe in abortion, obviously, but I can not tell another woman what to do. Please think long and hard on this and realize that giving this baby up for adoption might be the longer road and a mental struggle, but so worth it in the end - for your peace of mind and that baby's life. ...... I have assumed all along in this email that you are speaking of yourself, if you are not and asking in advice of a friend, perhaps, then please share this. thank you.
2006-11-22 02:27:46 · answer #5 · answered by Shan 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I think that this is really a person-by-person question, but in my opinion, an abortion does cause more emotional problems than giving the baby up. With abortion, a mother has to admit to herself that she has willingly killed her own baby. With adoption, although you have given up the rights to the baby, it has life. There is a chance in the future you could run into the baby, and it has a chance to to be loved by someone. At least with adoption, the mother loves the baby enough to give it up to what could be a better life instead of just ending something she created. If this question relates to you, please don't take this the wrong way when I say that a woman who has had an abortion is really selfish at the time she does it. Give the baby a chance to live, to be loved.
2006-11-22 02:04:09 · answer #6 · answered by NestleGirl 2 · 1⤊ 2⤋
It really depends on the individual's ability to cope with a loss regardless of how it is done. I know there are many people who have strong views against abortion. It's just one of those controversial topics that people feel the need to express themselves to the degree that they sound kind of crazy. I wonder how some of you guys would feel if you were put in that position. Frankly, I don't think men should have any opinion on abortion. Unless you have periods, cramps, PMS and can get pregnant, then just shut up.. Seriously though, I think most normal people could handle this, it's the stigma attached and the guilt that others place upon the individual that could affect the way someone feels about their choice.
2006-11-22 02:21:24 · answer #7 · answered by pussnboots333 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you put your baby up for adoption, how do you know it's in a good home? The adoptive parents can be abusive or what not? What the adoptive parents may appear on the outside may not be the same behind closed doors.
(And to that other post who said abortion is a sin? Christianity says that pre-marital sex is a sin. So that means that 99% of people in this world who had pre-marital sex are going to hell. I bet 99% of your parents here had sex before they got married, if they ever got married. So that means they're going to hell right?)
What about those women who gave birth and threw away their babies in the dumpsters because they were confused and scared? They didn't have abortions. They went through their pregnancy, yet they abandoned their babies. What about those children who live their life on the street because their parents didn't care about them? Or their parents were messed up and it made their kids to run away from home? How are those kids living a good life?
What about those women who take drugs, drink alcohol or smoke during their pregnancy? These women didn't have abortions but they risk having children with birth defects or crack babies. How are the children of these unstable moms able to live a good normal life?
How about abortions that are related to medical problems? What if the mom's pulse is raging during her pregnancy and if she went through the pregnancy, she may miscarry or give birth to a stillborn or the mother may even die?
That's why the mother has to make a tough decision.
Life isn't easy. People make mistakes. We all learn from our mistakes.
It's a womans choice. Each woman has her own reason, her own story. Why she either gave the baby up or had an abortion. I don't think it's any of our business.
By the way, I gave you a thumbs up. Interesting question.
2006-11-22 02:17:14 · answer #8 · answered by choosinghappiness 5 · 2⤊ 1⤋
I don't think you can really compare.
However, i would think adoption would cause more problems, relatively speaking, because you carry the baby for 9 full months and you become emotionally involved.
I had an abortion (in 2001) and granted I still feel guilty sometimes and think "what if", at the time it was the right decision. It was also done very early so I didn't really have time to get used to the idea that I was actually pregnant and still sometime now it feels like it actually happened to someone else.
This is actually a very difficult question to answer.
2006-11-22 02:06:09 · answer #9 · answered by Olivia 2 · 2⤊ 1⤋
when u put ur baby up for adoption u have to carry it for 9 months go threw the labor and u don't get to even see that baby that u have been taking care of for 9 months.. some mothers get very close to there child when their pg and that mother baby bond is very strong before the child is born.. and just letting it go just like that would be very painful... but when u have an abortion u do it early so u don't get so attached u don't have to give birth.. ya it would be hard to get an abortion.. but giving it up for adoption would just be so much harder..
2006-11-22 02:36:05 · answer #10 · answered by love 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i have a family member who has done both and the adoption has torn her life apart, the abortion wasn't easy but it was over quick and she moved on and knew that it was for the best.
the adoption however has stayed with her and 27yrs later she still wakes up thinking of the baby she gave away, did she go to a good home, has she had a good life etc.... back then teen mums were sent away to have their babies and the babies taken at birth
i know hand on heart i couldn't give a baby away and would have to be life or death for me to have an abortion, each women has the right to decide what happens coz nearly 30 yrs ago there was no choice it was made for you by other ppl
2006-11-22 02:09:39 · answer #11 · answered by mum_2_many 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋