What to do in my situation?????

Question

Im with this guy and we have a 3yr old son. Hes been married in the past , Ive never been married but I want to marry this guy but he wont even talk to me about it. I dont want to feel like im pressuring him. What to do??????

Answer 1

Guys are funny.

If he wants to get married, he'll tell you so. If he doesn't say anything about it, then he doesn't.

If you bring the topic up, from his point of view, you would be pressuring him. The problem is that he already has everything while promising nothing; why should he change that?

The only way he might consider it is if you left him, and marriage was the ONLY way you'd come back. The difficulty with that is, you'd have to really mean it, and not just stage it.

Good luck!

Answer 2

u do have a problem that's not going to be easy to work out. but with time and patients u should be able to . it sounds like he might have had a bad brake up with his ex-wife, and never wants to go through that again. but some how he needs to understand that u are not his ex-wife and if he loves you and wants to have a full life with you he should marry you.this sounds like he is ready at any time to through his stuff in a bag and be gone if things don't suit him. if you have gone as far as u can trying to talk to him and he gets up set or just wont talk with you about it you will have to find a third party to talk to him , someone that he respects there opinion. mother,father,brother,sister, pastor,ect... and i agree you should be married , did you know and you might use this to give him something to think about, heaven forbid if something happen to him and you wasn't married you nor your son would be able to to get his social security benefits so you would be left to raise your and his son on your own. i know a lot of ppl live together these days never getting married but when you make the commitment to each other it gives your spouse the peace of mind that they are there for the long haul and not ready to hit the back door running if things get ruff. just dont nag on him about it or you will turn him off and he wont budge at all.

Answer 3

It's really very simple, I think. If he wanted to marry you, he'd have asked.

Just in case, I would ask him (not right after work or during the game or when he's on his way to the bar or something) when you guys have some down time: Hey, babe. I love you and could spend my life with you. Do you think that could happen down the line?

You'll know where he is if you don't try to project onto him you're desires and just listen to what he says (and watch what he does). I think the real question, though, is how long you're willing to wait.

Answer 4

gyul,so you and this man have a son who is three years and he doesn't want to marry you.If he wanted to,he would have done so already.Somthing is wrong here.time to start dropping big hints,like how u want to be Mrs.his name and have a serious talk with him because,it seem that he doesn't want to be tied to you with that commitment,and it sad.put the pressure girl,it's about time and if he has a problem with you then you need to think out if the only reason he is with you is because of your son and he mighn't love you that much after all.think it through ,talk it though,how hard is it to buy a ring and put in on your finger.it doesn't have to be a luxurious ring just somthing sentimental...

Answer 5

Listen this is coming from a man. You already got your answer by him not talking to you about it. I hate to say it but the strongest statement to be made in your situation is to leave. It is one thing to talk and give your reasons why you don't want to but its entirely selfish to just simply not talk about it at all. Maybe, the first marriage turned him off to it. I am only venturing a guess cause I am sure you wonder what the problem is but I assure you you are better off finding a man that can supply you with the treatment and respect you deserve as well as desire.

Answer 6

I would explain to him that it is important for you to be able to discuss something with him that really means a lot to you and see what his response is. I am confident that if you are clear that you want to talk about something that is really important to you, he will allow you to begin the conversation.

From there, I would not even hesitate and ask him what his thoughts are on marriage. Now that he knows what you want to talk about, he may try to work his way out of it but you need to keep control of the conversation and not allow him to avoid the topic.

I am sure that he may be afraid to commit again since his first marriage did not work, but I think it would behoove you to also understand why the first marriage did not work.

Bottom line is that if your partner really cared for you, the discussion would be out on the table. Personally, I think that he is not interested in marriage and is afraid that you will leave him if he tells you this.....so he avoids the question altogether.

Answer 7

There's nothing you can do. If you've been with him for over 3 years and he still won't talk about it, then you're not getting married. If you're dead set on getting married, then your goals in life are not in sync with his. You'll just have to accept him the way he is or you're going to have a rocky future.

Answer 8

Nothing much you can do except wait. But I wouldn't wait long...if you've been dating more then a year and he isn't even talking about marriage - I would seriously consider moving on.

Answer 9

Nothing you can do. He obviously needs space from thoughts of marriage, you can have a committment without marriage. My advice back off, you don't want a shotgun wedding anyways.

Answer 10

Well he seems a bit irresponsible to me. He has a child with u but still is not committed enough to wanna marry you.....