I have been with my now husband for 6 years. We just got married 1 month ago, well..he has never really been very affectionate towards me. The last time we kissed was our wedding. We've never held hands... nothing like that, especially in public. Yeah at first, it bothered me, but then i learned to accept that maybe he just isnt "cuddle type" but then today i found his old photo album and he was with this girl that he met 8 years ago in flordia (one of those vacation flings) anyways, in all the pics, he was so affectionate with her, kissing her all sweet, just being the way ive always wanted him to be with me. so i told him about it and he just said i was being too emotional and stupid. What do you think? I'm his WIFE shouldnt he be like that with me?? not a fling?? how else should i express the way i feel?
2006-11-22 01:21:29 · 8 answers · asked by yahoocraze 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
He is 100% wrong. He needs to force himself, if that's what it takes, to do what he can to make you happy. Isn't that why we get married, to be happy and to make it part of our lives to make our spouse happy? Don't accept it, you and every other human out there deserves more. We all need to demand more! MORE LOVE!!! The more we give the more we should get.
2006-11-22 01:25:49 · answer #1 · answered by Jon O 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Why is the lack of affection bothering you so much now? You chose to marry him knowing that he wasn't the "cuddly type." Is it simply because you saw the pictures and now there is jealousy? I am not saying you are wrong for wanting affection, but I think your underlying reasons for wanting it are a bit off. Keep in mind, the photos you saw were of a vacation fling. People can choose to be something they are not because they are on vacation. It's part of needing a vacation. You husband has been with you for 6 years and allowed you into all aspects of his life, made you his wife, his partner for the long haul. So, ask yourself, who got the better deal? A girl from a summer fling 8 years ago, or the woman he wants to be with for the rest of his life?
2006-11-22 09:28:09 · answer #2 · answered by mihalicmj 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Why did you marry him if you felt you were missing affection with him. He cannot change from someone that is touchy feely to nothing. Did this other person hurt him to the point of being a cold fish? You are not being stupid if i found out he was all lovey with this other woman and not with me i would also be very, very hurt. Tell him how you feel again if he doesnt show you any emotion then i don't know what you can do. I guess you can give him a warning that you will leave. Every woman wants their husband to show then effection. Good luck darl
2006-11-22 09:30:59 · answer #3 · answered by angel 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No kisses? No hand holding? I know that I wouldn't like that type of treatment. My husband is a kissy-fool---to the point that he actually gets on my nerves. There has to be a happy medium here somewhere. I do agree with you that he should be like that with you and not with a fling in FL.
Try grabbing his hand when you're out in public or sneak a kiss in on the cheek every once in a while. You're going to have to take the initiative to make this happen.
Good luck.
2006-11-22 09:43:51 · answer #4 · answered by CyndiDrum 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe he got hurt really badly in that relationship which has caused him to put his guard up. Men hold on to their bad experiences more so than women. I've learned in past relationships that when a man gets burned badly enough, it will always remain in the back of his mind. So any acts of affection may trigger the bad memories and cause them to shut down. Maybe you guys should get some counseling. If he was capable of being that way once, then maybe you can find the key to unlock that part of him. If you love each other it's worth a shot. Good luck to you both.
2006-11-22 09:27:49 · answer #5 · answered by lovelee1 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Wow I don't know what to tell you. I would not accept my husband treating me like this under any circumstances, to me kissing, holding hands, etc. is all a part of being in love. Without that stuff it is kind of like a friendship only. I guess either talk to him and try to get him to do this stuff or leave if you can't accept it.
2006-11-22 09:25:36 · answer #6 · answered by blonde_bitch_norris 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i know how you feel, your not alone, my guy isn't so much into that mushy public affection stuff either. i really miss it. my guess is that he was hurt before and thats why he's not like that anymore. i know it doesn't really help you but its all i got. try changing the way you go about it. i know it hurts when you try and give him a hug and he just shugs you off, but just try being more affectionate twards him and maybe he'll come around. also try to avoid confilct as much as possible. try to be a friend and not just a wife, i hope that helps you.
2006-11-22 09:27:26 · answer #7 · answered by n4il_p0lish2000 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Maybe he loves that girls more than you eventhough your married..... =(
2006-11-22 09:43:31 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋