My husband work like a dog.I know that he will make it some day.But is it worth it to neglect the family to strive?I'm trying to understand but sometimes i feel left out.He left me on the street cos he need to welcome his client at the airport,he don't have lunch or dinner with me and the kids,i went to his friend wedding on behalf of him,he rushes all the time.I'm tired and bored.
2006-11-22 00:21:46 · 17 answers · asked by ike mie 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Look I have no idea where in this big world you are located. But one thing is universal "money" is necessary to live. But the love of money is very evil. Noone should neglect his wife and kids for money. Look at some of the most famous people in history, and you will see they had plenty of money, but were they happy? No, they were some of the most miserable people that lived. Money cannot buy happiness. I have seen some of the most happiest people in the world who had very little money.
2006-11-22 00:41:13 · answer #1 · answered by Rooster 1972 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Mrs. Ike,
I do understand where u standing, thinking, and feeling. I've been in your shoes. We have friends who r extremely wealthy & miserable. But others r happy.
Your married, hubby is working his tail off. Ur right, no lunches, dinners r missed. If u don't have other marital problems then look at it from another perspective.
Why is he killing himself? 4 U & the kids. U don't say how old ur kids r. Yes ur having to be a single parent but not 4 ever. R u spending ur money wisely? Do u have a 401K plan at his job. What r u doing about retirement? Start building a nest egg for the two of u. Make the kids lives as full and rich as u can. I don't mean blow the money on shopping or classes. But camp out in the back yard, find the free activities to keep u all more satisfied with your lives.
But get all of u out of the house. Wheither it's a sport activity, jogging, a Mom's morning out group. U have to have your own social life with the girls. Excercise, even local recreation centers off Mom classes and child care. If u can swing things, how about a job wheither ur at home or out in the community part time even one day a week. Maybe taking a class or two would put u in contact with other adults and build on future skills to get in the workforce someday.
Start taking care of u physically, spiritually, and emotionally. Make an appt with hubby. Yes I said make an appt. Tell him u miss him, you want to schedule a date night, including serious cuddling and sex. Then do it. Yes ur having to plan, but he needs to know u realize how hard he's working for u all. Tell him looking into his eyes how much u miss him. Share what the kids have been up too, so he's still connected with the family.
My husband use to call before the kids bedtime and talk with each one about their day. Telling them he loved them. Everynight when I went to bed... I'd make a point to have a nice shower or bath. Moisturize my skin and when he come home, just the scent of fresh clean skin would drive him crazy. He'd go shower and come to bed, to snuggle, play and maybe even have sex.
It's not easy for your husband, he feels like a failure and is working so hard to provide for u and the kids. It isn't forever. He does need to realize the kids are growing up and even though ur raising them the best way u know how... he needs to just once in awhile spend one on one time with each of them. When ur not nagging and complaining, a huge weight is lifted.
Good luck, I hope u bring the romance back into your lives and that u find yourself.
2006-11-22 08:54:35 · answer #2 · answered by Staci 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, money isn't everything. Money doesn't make you happy...it is NOT happiness. You do have to have money to survive, but neglecting your family in the long run is not worth it.
If your husband puts to much imphasis on work and doesn't give you or your children the love and attention they need, you need to sit down and have a talk with your husband. Make him aware that he is neglecting you. You and your children need him. The children will later hate their father if you don't put a stop to this now even if their father has always provide financial for them, he may not have provided all of the love he has to offer to them. Love is more important than MONEY!
2006-11-22 08:27:22 · answer #3 · answered by bellebelle113 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
money is nothing over love /family... without family and the love of your life you have nothing .. yes you need money but no work should not come before family in my eyes it should be the other way ... you need to have a talk to your husband and let him know how you are feeling and let him know he is pulling away from the family and missing out on so much by working all the time and you feel that you are out in the cold maybe he don't know you feel this way and he is like another good man and just wants to do good by his family
2006-11-22 09:22:15 · answer #4 · answered by bonnie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is a shame that money is what makes the world go around. My husband works like a dog to so I can stay home with the kids. I have offered to get a job but he says that I already have a full time job at home. It isn't the quantity of time you spend with your family, it is the quality of time.
2006-11-22 08:35:22 · answer #5 · answered by Donna 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have asked myself that a thousand times over. I always think that if i had money then I would be happy. but then I think, what if I DID have alot of money and no one to share it with. no friends, husband, what if I flew to all the places I wanted to go, bought all the things I wanted to buy? It wouldnt be any fun if I was alone. so while I do wish my husband and I could be comfortable and not have to worry about the bills I dont think that all the money in the world could buy happiness.
2006-11-22 08:28:29 · answer #6 · answered by yensenm 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, money isn't everything, but right now your husband is trying to make his mark in the world and provide for you and your kids. Yes, it's hard on you and yes you feel left out. But he is the one out there providing for you. I know it's hard to be the one left out, I've been there before I got a job and now make the majority of our family money, but on the flip side of the coin you have to stand strong for your husband and be supportive because right now he needs you and your strength. Because when he does make it, it's you that will also reap the benefits.
2006-11-22 08:39:12 · answer #7 · answered by GirlinNB 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sometimes in life, in order to get to where you want to be, you have to sacrifice things that are really important to you. I'm pretty sure your husband doesn't enjoy not spending time with you guys. If he is the sole support of the family, then really you can't complain. Help him out, if anything. Get a job too, so he's not always working.
2006-11-22 08:31:16 · answer #8 · answered by Rica 82 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Take the money out of the relaionship, and see if there is something special between ya. Sure money helps pay the bills and keep a roof over your head, but if his work is interfering with the family and there is no time whatsoever for family even for just a day, then it's possible you might need to reconsider the marriage relationship. need to seperate to sort things out.
2006-11-22 08:32:53 · answer #9 · answered by one_odd_parent 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Your husband needs to rethink his priorities. Money does not mean everything.
How long are you willing to put up with being left out in the cold, so he can make the almighty dollar?
I think you need to sit down and have a serious discussion with him or things are only going to get worse.
2006-11-22 08:29:30 · answer #10 · answered by rustybones 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋