I grew up very conservative strict home environment. did not have many boyfriends before I got married. After 21yrs of being cheated on by my husband i am now busy divorcing him. however, i have a very high sex drive and although i dont want another man in my life now, i feel that i have the urge to want to sleep with male friends who I know have a liking in me. They are also divorced,except 1 who is still married. I desire the married one and one of the single guys. I have slept with the married guy and feel awful as this is what happened in my marriage, but I cant seem to help myself. please help is this normal?
2006-11-21 23:12:53 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
maybe you're lashing out from all that repression you had to live with all these years. i think it's okay if you sleep with single men, but stay away from the married ones.
just be sure to be safe. you don't want to get pregnant now, or worse, catch a disease.
maybe you can try to talk to a counselor or go to a women's support group or a divorcees support group to help vent.
try to "rechannel" some of that sex drive in work or a new hobby or go to the gym.
sexuality is an important part of being a person. as long as it doesn't affect your everyday behavior and you are safe and it doesn't wreck your self esteem and, most important, as long as you don't let the sex define who you are as a person, then go for it! = )
2006-11-21 23:22:23 · answer #1 · answered by waltzang 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Stop, you are not a dog, yes you most certainly help yourself. You have choices and urges, however, you have choices. you slept with that man and he has a wife. Well, now you will cause another women the same pain you have endured for 21 years, aren't you proud. Accept responsibility, you are not some weak damsel in distress, you chose those behaviors. As far as having the urge to sleep with everyone, this is probably due to the lack of love and affection you have been receiving for the past 21 years. However, you are not 21 years older and if you were able to control yourself then, you still can. This is absurd and self defeating behaviors. If you can deal with a man cheating on you for 21 years you have more strength than you realized. Go and get yourself some counseling. Good luck and God bless****
2006-11-21 23:21:44 · answer #2 · answered by ? 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I can certainly understand your need to sleep around as you put it. Especially as you were cheated on for so many years you probably feel the need to experiment. What l have a problem with is the fact that you have slept with a married man knowing how upset it made you feel when it happened to you. I do not condone cheating in any form as it also happened to me and it just rips your heart out. You say you have single male friends. What l suggest is you experiment with the single guys and leave the married ones for their wives. Also NO in my eyes it is not normal behaviour to go after married men. We all look ofcourse but as long as we keep our hands off, it's not a sin. Hope this advice has helped a little.
2006-11-21 23:59:15 · answer #3 · answered by kazzadanni 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I guess it is normal for you, since you are doing it. Does that make it okay? No, but you already know that. Sleeping with a married man is immoral and causes pain. You didn't like it when it happened to you, but you are now breaking up someone elses marriage. Sex for sex's sake it great, but maybe you should stick to sleeping with unattached men. If you really feel that you cannot stop yourself, you need professional help.
2006-11-21 23:20:08 · answer #4 · answered by schweetums 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes it is normal to feel the way you do after all those years of being pent up and rigid. Sleeping around will not make you feel any better about yourself though. Especially sleeping with a married man. Buy yourself a sex toy and learn to live for yourself before you get involved with anybody.
2006-11-21 23:17:36 · answer #5 · answered by Belinda 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
This is not normal but sadly it is not uncommon. many people, especially women, have a hard time differentiating between Love and Sex. You are trying to fill a void, nothing good can come from this. learn to love yourself. Don't have sex on first dates etc. and never with married men. Take care of yourself sexually if needs be. But because a man will sleep with you, does not mean he loves you. Good luck.
2006-11-21 23:24:02 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's probably "normal" but it certainly isn't healthy from a physical or emotional standpoint, is it? I'd suggest that you need affirmation that you are a good, worthwhile, valuable, and loveable person and have selected sex as the way to receive it. There are other ways, of course. Therapy may well be indicated. Can you find a counselor?
2006-11-21 23:18:52 · answer #7 · answered by DelK 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If it is making you feel awful, it is not normal. I think that you are acting out your divorce in some form as a way of coping with a really bad situation. I would recommend counseling.
2006-11-21 23:23:41 · answer #8 · answered by Huey from Ohio 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is very normal but still wrong . You have the desire and feelings of revenge taking over your morals. And your lack of selling your oats so to speak is your inner wild child coming out, since it was repressed while you were a teenager.
2006-11-21 23:18:54 · answer #9 · answered by josified 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It could be that he is confused, and doesn't know what he wants. Maybe he got back into a recently ended relationship. Maybe he had a g/f all the time and just panicked and decided to end thinfs before he made a regrettable mistake. I think the last is more logical
2016-05-22 13:47:35 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋