I have been going ouy with this guy for 6 months and found a letter from this girl who is in prison. He has seen her twice this year and there have been about 3 letters He has told me she was a landlady at the pub he use to visit at Uni and she was older and had a boyfriend before she was in prison (and they were just friends). She has been there 2 years and my bf only found out this year that she was inside .In the letter from her it suggests that my bf is intending to split up with me (he went to see her 2 weeks ago). It said, "have you dumped that girl yet? did you break her down gently. There is no way you can use the big L word (love) " However when I confronted him and asked if he wanted to finish he said no and that he was perfectly happy and if he ever thought about finishing he would tell me and wouldn't prolong it. There have been no signs that have changed our relationship and he is still very affectionate with me. what should I do?
2006-11-21 23:12:53 · 14 answers · asked by Rp 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
dump him i smell a rat
2006-11-21 23:15:21 · answer #1 · answered by tinkerbell 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
All I can say is something sounds fishy.
Its funny actually because i found a letter this morning from the local court about a speeding fine that my husband promised he had paid 4 months ago, I know this has nothing to do with your predicament but that fact that my husband can look me in the eye and lie his ars off about something like that! It wouldnt surprise me if your bf is lying too, and too gutless to tell you.
But Im just bitter and in a bad mood, you cant rule out that this woman is jail is just a trouble causer, but surely he would have kicked off with her about saying such a wicked thing, dont give up on this I would have a proper talk with him,make sure you get answers. Good luck xxx
2006-11-21 23:20:30 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like she's hanging on to him because she's in prison, has already lost everything and in her terrible loneliness, has fabricated a fantasy that she and your bf are together. It's amazing what people come up with during times of desparation! However, it's certainly not cut and dried. You need to get some more answers out of your bf, namely why she would write this? And what was said when he went to visit her 2 wks ago? You certainly deserve some answers. Ask him if he'll take you to visit her next time he goes so he can introduce you. See how he responds to this! That should be an interesting one and it may get more answers out of him!
2006-11-21 23:19:59 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
i understand you must feel sick to the stomach....your heart lurches when you come across something like that doesn't it? when you confronted him did you just ask about your relationship or did you own up to the fact that you had come across a letter addressed to him that you had read? if not to rest your own mind you need to bring this up. he might not have said anything because he doesn't realise you have seen it.
however if you have told him about the letter there is 2 possible scenarios - he actually is telling the truth and you have nothing to worry about or there is somthing to worry about and he is lying.
this woman sounds like she might fancy your boyf and is just hoping that he's finished you and might not have been prompted by your bf to say something like that. however its that old thing - there's no smoke without fire.
personally i would be worried and i would bring it up again and ask him why she should say such a thing. you really need to bite the bullet. i mean were they that good friends that he would go and visit her or was there more going on than he's letting on? follow your gut instinct hun you know more than anyone. ask him his intentions - what is his agenda going and seeing her and will they continue this friendship when she gets out. you are meant to be his number one and so he should be able to tell you these things. i wish you luck in this and i hope there really is nothing to worry about after all there might not be! xx
2006-11-21 23:39:10 · answer #4 · answered by sunshine 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Relationships are all about trust, if theres no trust it cant work.
That doesnt mean you cant be a little wary though. If you want to be with him then accept what he is telling you. If it turns out he's been lying put a price on his head ;)
2006-11-21 23:17:31 · answer #5 · answered by drlplate 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well you probably shouldn't have read his stuff. Could this possibly have been another girl that he was "letting down gently" if not he's lying to one of you but I wouldn't stick around to see which one!
2006-11-22 00:12:24 · answer #6 · answered by momofthreemiracles 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you do not have a problem now, it is only a fantasy that he is living in he had maybe a crush on this woman and as long as he cannot get her its OK.
try and get him to confide in you about this lady ask him if she was and is a part of his daydream
try and live it with him
and if I am right
then............
2006-11-21 23:20:26 · answer #7 · answered by john n 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Did you tell him what you read in the letter? Who do you believe, someone you hardly know or someone who says they love you?
I suppose time will tell. Sorry I can't be more helpful.
2006-11-21 23:51:15 · answer #8 · answered by Orla C 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ooooops,see thats what happens when u snoop,,,now the trust has gone before you've even started,,sorry good luck thoe
2006-11-21 23:44:09 · answer #9 · answered by kimble 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is a perfect example of why one should not snoop into others belongings and personal items. Now, stop snooping. God bless****
2006-11-21 23:15:49 · answer #10 · answered by ? 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
get rid end of he is sooo not worth that! regardless of what he says you have seen that letter and it says it in black and white (so to speak) !
you deserve better
2006-11-21 23:16:58 · answer #11 · answered by princesssp8 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋