I had a STD test a year ago, had all negative. Recently had a test again and they found several STD deseases (garderella and clamidia). My husband assures me that he didn't cheat. I don't beleive him as we had same situation 5 years ago. My question is should I forgive him. We are married 14 years and we have a son. I am not even angry with him I feel only emptyness and tireness.
2006-11-21 22:25:21 · 14 answers · asked by Anar Y 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I know what you mean - not about the STD stuff, but the emptiness and tiredness. They wear you down bit by bit, until you get to the point that you just stop caring, both about them and yourself.
Get therapy and try to move on. I only wish I could follow my own advice.
2006-11-21 22:29:18 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
What do you mean by you had same situation 5 years ago ? Did you suspect then that your husband had cheated on you ? It is entirely up to you whether you choose to forgive him or not. No-one else can decide that for you but my main concern would be if he was cheating on you 5 years ago and you suspect he has done it again, where does it end ? I realize you probably want things to work out for your sons sake but you need to be happy also. You have been married 14 years and that is a lot to throw away but if there is no trust, the way l see it, there is no relationship. I can certainly understand you would feel emptiness as you are probably mentally drained. You need to sit down quietly on your own and take a long hard look at the whole situation and weigh up the pro's and con's of your marriage and then decide what you must do. Good luck l know it won't be easy for you. Hope all works out well .
2006-11-22 06:43:23 · answer #2 · answered by kazzadanni 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I've been there and done that, been around that corner a few times and, you never forget so, don't try. Once your heart is broken, it doesn't heal. You might say, your waiting for that other shoe to fall and, it did on me several times. What do you do, you get on with your life, what's the choice?
These STD's can stay in the body for years you know, before coming up like they did so, this could be from years ago so, don't jump to conclusions.
Go see your doctor, ask him all the facts about this STD and what it could be from. If you have to. Sit down with your hubby and Tell him what you found out. Tell him it's time to chose "door number one or door number two" time to pay the piper honey and get the facts. He gave you something, one way or the other, you deserve to know the who, what, whens and whys of it, come clean.
Door number two by the way is the highway, it worked for me.
2006-11-22 06:35:48 · answer #3 · answered by cowboydoc 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I dont usually say this, but I think its time you got rid of the cheating piece of #@!*.
He put your safety and wellbeing in danger by passing on sexually transmitted diseases, and no matter what he says, he did cheat because where else would you get the STD's from? (You are legally entitled to have him charged for reckless endangerment by the way).
If he has cheated before then chances are that he is doing it again. You cant live your life with someone who cant be faithful to you, it is emotionally damaging and can lead to major illnesses such as depression.
As hard as it is, your Son is better off without the negetive influence of his father in this regard. If he continues to grow up in a household where infidelity is seen as appropiate, the chances are that he will cheat on his girlfriend/wife in the future. Is this the attitude that you want your son to have?
You are worth more than what your husband is offering you, it is time to seriously consider getting out of this emotionally abusive relationship and making a solid, moral life for yourself and your son.
Dont forgive him, because you forgave him last time and he betrayed you again. Unfortunately you only found out through a sexually transmitted disease test, if you hadnt of had the test you would still be none the wiser of his immoral and hurtful behaviour.
The fact that you are feeling empty is worrying, this indicates that your husband's infidelity has sucked the life right out of you, and you cant live your life like that. Its too emotionally draining and soul destroying for anyone to live with.
I hate to be harsh, but it needs to be said. Even though you love him, he doesnt care about your feelings or your physical safety. Don't stay where he can continue to hurt you.
Good luck in whatever you decide to do.
2006-11-22 06:37:27 · answer #4 · answered by roman_goddess_venus 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That has to be one of the most difficult situations I've ever heard of, and I think that you should seek counsel from people who actually know you. Assuming that the STDs are coming from your husband, one of these days he could bring home the HIV virus to you. That would be my main concern, though certainly not my only one. Talk to people who know you and, preferably, also know your husband. This shouldn't be resolved on a Yahoo message board.
2006-11-22 06:46:48 · answer #5 · answered by celebduath 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm sorry to hear about your situation. I honestly would not stay in a marriage where my spouse continues to have affairs and spreads all types of STD's to me. What's it going to be next time? HIV or AIDS? I would get out fast. He wants his cake and eat it too at your (health) expense. It's not worth it. No matter how long you've been with this man. He has not and is not respecting you nor his commitment to you. Get out before it's too late. You deserve better!!
2006-11-22 07:43:21 · answer #6 · answered by jazz_lover_25 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he got contracted STD diseases (as similar to you), will he able to forgive you? I doubt so..... so why are you still hesitate?
Will you feel happy and secure after you have found out the truth that you are now contracting with the disease that you never dream you would contracted by your husband who claims he has never cheated behind you. This is ever the biggest lies I ever heard.
2006-11-22 06:43:06 · answer #7 · answered by Adorable Mrs 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
So this isn't the first time he has cheated? You know what to do leave. Dont stay for your sons sake however old he is he will pick up on The atmosphere between you.
Dont waste your life on someone who obviously doesn't love you. You can start again even though it is scary.
Your only given one life in this world dont you want to laugh and be happy again do it leave.
2006-11-22 06:34:14 · answer #8 · answered by multiflowercolour 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I am sorry you are going through this, my wife gave me std's twice that I know about and I am going to be tested again soon, I suspect a third time. I know the pain. but you have to love yourself, you seem to have little self esteem, as do I. but to answer you question, yes forgive him. but it must end. if this continues you must leave him. good luck my heart aches for you.
2006-11-22 07:05:36 · answer #9 · answered by robtiger2 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is only one way to catch an STD.
You know he has been cheating on you, you have the proof.
You should be angry, he has betrayed you.
You know what you have to do, move on & find peace of mind.
Best of luck to you.
2006-11-22 06:40:09 · answer #10 · answered by eyes_of_iceblue 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋