A big Relationship Mess?

Question

I've known my ex gf for 5 yrs or so. Last year she broke up with me bcoz supposedly, I wasn't giving her what she needed. We are from different cultures. I made an effort to change &I pursued her trying to make it up to her..
Then two months later she contacted me we shared alot of intimacy. It was like being in the relationship without the sex. And I was doing most of the giving (emotionally). Then she dumped me again, out of the blue.
She recontacted me about 2 months ago. She was going thru family and health problems and I was there for her. We had some laughs, then 2 days ago she dropped the bomb:

She told me she had a one night stand with a guy she met in a club about 2 weeks after she dumped me. I am devastated. How do I forgive her? How do I get over this?

Its hard bcoz I was loyal. And I thought we had something special worth saving.

Please no answers that say: "BONE SOMEONE ELSE". I'd like to hear a female view.

Answer 1

sorry to say but she is just using you as a comfort pillow because you are always there for her and it is great that you were always there for her it shows you are an excellent catch for a woman who will respect and give to you what she receives i would start to get over her it will be hard and when she tries to come back don't respond don't anwser her calls just move on.

Answer 2

Hmm that's a tough one... but not so tough at all.... yeah. Well, first of all, I think you're a great guy.... but if it's time to let go... let go! Going once... twice.... that's it! I think the relationship between you two isn't really worthy to persue... She dumped you twice, then for the third time, giving you such a bad news. A guy like you doesn't deserve to be a doormat. If the pain's too hard to bear, time will come when your heart'll be ready to forgive. I guess you just need to date a new girl to start anew. Next time your ex tries to contact you again, just make sure nothing more should happen between you two and make sure that when you have a new gf, your ex will always remain an ex... meaning you will have to move on.

Answer 3

I'm sorry but I'm sympathy you for being fooled by someone who isn't serious in relationship. Your so called gf is indeeds a sl*t and I despise this type of shameless bi*ch.

Why are you allowing yourself to be toyed for so many times? I knew love is blind and it is hard to let go the emotion feelings with her, but look at the situation. You've been played around.

You said you are loyal and yet you allow yourself to be fool by her and asking us how you would want to forgive her? Ask yourself, will she ever learn lesson and wake up? If she is truly repent on her mistakes and wanna be faithful to you, then I would said she deserve another chance. But i doubt so coz she already addicted to dump any guys without no reason.

Be a real man and ditch her at once. Never goes back eventhough she begs or trying to persuade you one day. If you cannot bring yourself to do so, then we can't say anything but you will only bring sad endings to yourself. Wake up!

Answer 4

Man, this happens. Guys normally have a harder time sharing their feelings than us woman. I don't believe you "messed up", you just wanted ur man to tell you what was up. My advice (trust me please) is to not call or test him at all. I mean not even once! Let this man miss you!! There is something going on with him (who knows if its personal, cheating, family, etc).In the meantime, if you don't want to date other people I can understand. But at least spend this time doing things you enjoy, spending time with friends n family as well as yourself.And take care of business you need to. Let him come back to you! If and when he does, don't fall back into old habits. ALWAYS keep ur distant with ur man (just a little). When he asks for space, give it to him. And they'll always come to you! It is absolutely NOT the end of the world. You will find somebody no matter what age. U just gotta make these guys keep coming to you.(the trick is NEVER sweat them). And anyway, thirty is the new twenty!!!!!! =)

Answer 5

A Grudge F doesn't work and only hurts someone else. You want to re-think your position with her, you have none plainly. She's writing the rules and your playing with them, she fouls and you get the fine. This is working for one person here, her and, you can't see it.
Sit back and relax, take a deep breath and call her. Tell her you no longer want her in your life, she's doing nothing but upsetting you, it's hurting to much and hang up. Let her go.

Get out, find someone new, someone who cares and get on with your life, have a good one. Good luck

Answer 6

You were not together when she did this so no reason for you to be mad or to try and forgive her...With her bouncing back and forth like this tho, why do you want to be with her??? If she has done this several times, then she will do it again because she knows that you will take her back...Say no the next time, dont be so easy...

Answer 7

You dont forgive her, she is only using you when it suits her. Tell her to piss off and find someone that respects you.

by the way, I am going to take the same advice I just gave you.

Answer 8

She does'nt respect or care for your loyalty and I don't think she will ever do that. So don't waste any more time with her. Just move on and find someone whom you can trust and share your life in full confidence.

Answer 9

She,s not ready to settle down and you will end up hurting again and again and again... Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice and shame on me.. Be strong look for something better and more secure. Someone who will love you without hurting you.

Answer 10

Ok,, then Go get a Grudge F**K..... and see if she sticks around pardner,,,, i bet you a dime to a dollar she will walk .... and you should also....

good luck