2006-11-21 21:03:28 · 15 answers · asked by apple 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
You can't... Especially if the decision to break up wasn't his... He has to get over "your" decision... Remember, you had this entire thing planned and worked out in your head for some time... all the while he probably didn't have much of a clue as what extreme life changing event was being planned and taking place... the only real help for him now is time...
2006-11-21 23:13:20 · answer #1 · answered by deakjone 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Those comfortable form fitting shoes that you just can't bare to throw away and you keep them just the same for old times sake. You wanting to throw 20 yrs of marriage to a man that obviously cares and adores you away like that bagged crap that you've bagged up for the Salvation Army Dump!!
What is wrong with you woman? Maybe your hormones are crying out to see your OB/GYN ----get your hiney an appointment and have yourself checked. It could be you're going through the change have you ever thought of that?
You should consider yourself lucky that your spouse is still interested in you after 20 yrs. Maybe he takes his marriage vows seriously "TILL DEATH DO YOU PART"....."FORSAKING all others"----
Think about it!
2006-11-21 22:26:28 · answer #2 · answered by aunt_beeaa 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm not being rude, i promise, but maybe he needs to have time away from you. This may enable him to see that the world hasn't ended because his marriage has.
I had an ex that wanted to stay friends and help like you are trying to do but this really didn't help. Zero contact for a couple of months did the trick.
2006-11-21 21:08:37 · answer #3 · answered by rainbowarrior73 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Why do you feel you have to help him get over you? If you have moved on then in time he will have to. The more you try to help him out with things then the more he will feel he has a tie to you. Tell him to get on with his life and stop wasting it on you. Be cruel to be kind and make the message clear that you do not want him back.
2006-11-21 21:49:14 · answer #4 · answered by evs 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
People deal with things differently...you have moved on. Stay away and let him find his own way of coping. For you to "stay in the picture" trying to help him...you are making it worse because you're presence is what keeps him holding on and possibly hoping for a reconsiliation
2006-11-21 21:06:32 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Maybe he doesn't WANT to move on... Perhaps he loves you more than you loved him...
It is a sad fact that some peoples emotions aren't quite so easily switched off...
Just ignore him, get on with your life and eventually he will too...
2006-11-21 21:06:14 · answer #6 · answered by Forlorn Hope 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Toughen up, if you don't the next 20 years of your life could be controlled by his feelings while you try to cope with them and if you have children their life will also be ver very badly affected.....believe me I know what I'm talking about - my parents split in 73 my father NEVER got over it, he died in 98 and now we finally have peace, and it's horrible to feel like that but we didn't make it happen, our parents did.
2006-11-21 21:35:52 · answer #7 · answered by ffiondove 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Just be consistent, your words and deeds must send the same message... "i have moved on!" Avoid meetings and long stories, just learn to turn him down. I know it might sound harsh but just like it is done for children,..... you must be strong enough to "watch him fall" this is the only way he will move on.
2006-11-21 21:20:55 · answer #8 · answered by Arunai 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I'm sure you called the quit. Leave him alone he will be fine. Stop your good sameritan stuff. Why did you get over him by the way?
2006-11-21 21:26:26 · answer #9 · answered by good-for-all 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Because he is still wet behind the ears to realize that shopping for something better exhists.
2006-11-21 21:36:09 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋