To the single parents...?

Question

After finally having enough of my ex refusing to pay to support his children, i have decided to set up a web page of absent PARENTS who neglect their maintenance duties. What do you think and would u be prepared to contribute a photo or just basic details of a name and when they last paid (if they ever did!) I believe they are letting the genuine absent parents down and taking advantage of the csa's disrepair.

*This is not a bid for revenge * more of a single parents for justice. There is no bitterness because i am indifferent to him now. Its my kids who suffer.

And my children are not involved in any way they are 2 young 2 understand and i am not mean as to slate their father. This is not my lifes work - just a spare time thing.

Peoples opinions on the web page would also be welcome like some of the ones posted on here.- If u can give me ideas it would be helpful

Answer 1

Im starting a web site for men, who's ex's stop them seeing the kids, yet still want hand outs. Its called dole bum hand out mums, want kids, (not a bloke), a string of casual sex, and a paid for house, and expenses while slutting around, meal ticket mums ill call it?
what do You think?

Answer 2

i started reading a few Q you have already received. these people must not have kids. for instinct [you have made your bed now lie in it.] your partner at the time was also lying there.so why because we are the mum should we take full responsibility. yes the father should pay up not just financially but emotionally . why should us as parents be slammed for being twisted because we don't want the other half to walk free. of course we are not going to involve the children in the dispute what mother would. but on the other side the father gets no names when he is the #~#~# he is the one that is messing the kids heads up by not spending time with them or supporting them.what do you thing they are going threw. PS not all men are like this...

Answer 3

Once this information is in a public arena, who are the ones who really suffer again? The children.

It would be really sad for children , to have the private facts of their financial and emotional support, or rather, lack of it, broadcast on the internet.

It's like saying 'See, everyone now knows what a bad Dad/Mum you have.' As if it isn't bad enough already.

My thinking is that the people who need to know about this are the people who matter, your family, your friends, not the world.

I am sympathetic to what you are suggesting to a degree, but I don't think it is the solution.

Answer 4

I sympathise with you and think you may have the basics of a good idea here.

Also think about this, why not wait until your Children's Father has substantial assets in the future (house, business, investments, pension or whatever) then sue him for his share of the £300,000 (or whatever it is deemed to be by then) or so cost of raising a child to age 18. It won't help you now, but if you can prove in ten or twenty years time that the children were his and that he never paid toward them you have most of what you need to make sure that what goes around, comes around and at least stop him getting away with ignoring his responsibilities!

Personally I cannot imagine what kind of selfishness leads to Fathers deserting their own off-spring like this; I could never even imagine leaving my Children. I don't wish to sound condescending, but maybe next time you should take care whom you choose to have children with; we are not all like your ex!

Answer 5

woman seem to think that absent parents are only men but there are women out there who ignore the fact they have children
my eldests dad is a total looser and hasent given me a penny in 10 years id rather not have anything off him to be honest my sons done fine without the jerk a web page for this may cause a lot of trouble as some woman have problems with exs that could be bad for them doing this yes the people who neglect to look after their children need to be shamed but serious though needs to be put into it

Answer 6

I am in the same position but a 24/7 single dad. I won't broadcast the situation nor involve my children. Its a private matter between me, the deadbeat parent and the court system. For emotional support I lean on my Immediate family.

Unfortunately, the family court system stinks. Often costs as much in legal fees as the financial support your fighting for. If I started getting financial support tomorrow, it would be 2010 before I would break even on the legal costs so far incurred just fighting for support alone.

Answer 7

as a single parent to my daughter with an absent parent ,,, her father paid nothing for her initially and i didnt persue him because she is my daughter as well and if he didnt want to contribrute it was his loss and the love of a parent is unconditional and i knew id manage somehow. I chose to carry the baby even so i knew that the father wouldnt stick around so i took that upon myself to look after her myself as well as i could have honoured his wishes and aborted her but i didnt,,, meaning she was my responsibility now not his because i didnt honour his wish..... luckily my story ended on a better note,, her father came back on the scene 11 months later wanting to be her father and has paid maintenance without being asked and has also paid out seperately for all the bigger things she needs and tho he wont take her out on his own,, in his very own way he is making an effort and my daughter will eventually come round to him!! so by not persuing him, by not making things nasty, he chose to come back and see his daughter and he has chosen to be her dad and it all worked out fine!!! i just think that sometimes fightint things through just pushes the absent father further and further away and people forget the real issues,,,, thats the child the whole fight is about.!!

Answer 8

Fighting this cause will only disrupt your child, who is noticing the gap already. What you should be doing is trying to nurture your child with twice as much love as before, because it's not money your child needs, it's comfort, security and love. My Mum took the path of fighting my Dad and it was me who suffered, and even now after all these years, she believes my acheivements are because of her (which they aren't) and always wants to rub my Dad's face in it.

My Dad left me at my lowest and I will never forgive him for that, but my Mum is just as bad because she made it all about her! And rather than trying to bridge the gap I felt from not having my Dad about, she became bitter about it and wanted all the money from him.

I'm not accusing you of being selfish, just trying to help you see it from a different point of view. I know you feel he should be paying his way (and I agree to some point) but make your kids and making them feel loved should be priority number one.

Btw, the website could be a good idea.

Answer 9

i think it's an interesting idea but there should also be a way for the deadbeat parent to make it right. for example if you put he/she on the website but he/she eventually does the right thing, there should be some kind of redemption section. even though i'm not with my wife anymore, my daughter comes first no matter what. people must realize that actions determine priorities. good luck!

Answer 10

I would if i was still single my daughters father has never paid a single penny and she is 12 1/2!
my hubby said that after all these yrs he wouldn't take money now, as far as my daughter is concerned my hubby is her dad and shes not bothered about the biological one.
Hope you get lots of support
good luck
xxxxxxxxx