Does anyone else's spouse go through very snappy, 'your'e so stupid phases'?

Question

My husband goes through these phases that last a couple of months at a time where no matter what I say, he snaps at me. Then for a couple of months I'm the "greatest wife in the world". Today while running erands together we needed to make a left U-turn on a packed road at rush hour. The left turn lane was way backed up. I pointed to the right hand turn lane,which was empty, and at a light for easy turning and said "why don't you turn right and then come back through the light?" He snapped back "because the lane is all backed up, SWEETHART!" I took a little breath and replied that I knew the LEFT lane was backed up, that's why I told you to turn RIGHT and then easily come back through the light. He does this constantly. I'm at the point where I am either going to quit talking altogether or get snappy back. I'm afraid to go into ***** mode as there may be no return! Does this happen to anyone else? How do you handle it without becoming a crappy person, too?

Answer 1

Mine doesn't, he knows i would beat him...

Answer 2

I think we all are guilty from time to time of being a little snappy with the ones we love. Try to figure out when he is like that. Maybe he was feeling a little stressed and/or tense about traffic. Some people can't get it through their head that when they are driving at a "rush hour" time to expect delays on the road. When we change our mind set we are better able to deal with the stress it causes.
I am in no way saying that he should be snapping your head off...but maybe he freaks a little when stress arises.
You shouldn't have to go into ***** mode....but he needs to know when he has offended you...you can't always put these things behind us just for the sake of not upsetting the person doing this. He needs to know when he is being a jerk...without a huge horrible confrontation.
When my husbands starts acting like a crab...I always ask him..are you feeling okay? Or Is something bothering you ?
.

Answer 3

A friend of mine handles this with humor. She stomps her foot on the floor, (passenger side, of course), and then declares, "Oops, my passenger side brake doesn't seem to be working : )

Most people get annoyed at "back seat driving", and when the traffic is really bad he is already frustrated. Perhaps he feels criticized? Take some responsibility for your part in every incident. That is the FIRST STEP. Then work with him too. Tell him you can't always control your instincts, and please not to take it seriously. Then ask him how you can help him deal with all the frustration. Believe me, this works. Stop blaming, and realize it takes 2 to tango.

Answer 4

Is he in a high stress job? Does this only happen when you are in the car? I am sorry but with the info I have I would have to say that you guys are normal. Men hate being corrected when driving. More details and I could give you a better answer.

Answer 5

You need to snap back. Ask him who the hell he thinks he is talking to. You are not a child. You do not need to sit there and be berated like you spoke out of line. Don't take that crap from him. Full on ***** mode isn't necessary though, but you do need to put him in his place as well. Good luck, God Bless.

Answer 6

My partner doesn't do that. I DO. I really don't know what comes over me, and it just gets worse and worse, until one day, i wake up, and I'm happy again.
I'm not too sure what will make it better, but you don't have to put up with it. I'm going to anger management sessions to learn to channel my anger elsewhere. It's really helping. He may not be into it but it's worth a try right?

Answer 7

I do get a little snappy especially if my driving is criticized. But its only for the moment, not a whole month!