Upset at the do-gooder?.............Here's the situation.....?

Question

Everyone was talking bad about this person ,including me.But I really care about this person and value their company.So I was feeling bad about gossiping and talking about them and I told the what I did.I didn't tell them any details,or whom I was talking about them with,I only said what I did and that I felt bad and wasn't gonna do it again.Now everyone else in the "circle" is acting like I did something wrong by doing this.Everyone is avoiding conversation with me....Why?...What did I do wrong?.............................I didnt rat on anyone but myself.

Answer 1

You weren't socially acceptable because you went against the crowd. Though you were really doing the right thing, they are buttheads and have excluded you from the clique. Be to the point about it and ask them why they are being hypocrits... if they are rude find a new circle...

Answer 2

I've been there and I've done that. I've only tried to help the situation out. 89 % it will work.There's really no right way to do it. You feel bad, and u really don't want to lose any of these's friends.But this is what worked for me a couple of times..I've made a mistake and said something wrong aboout a close friend. First for the futuer... Never Ever tell the person u talked about first ...the reason for that..well you kinda answered it. Secound... You need to confront the other ppl about what your about to do, and who ever wants to join in can. You've givin the option to them. 3rd... You'll need to tell the rest of them that You aren't going to rat on them or say anything that has been said about this person or who said it. If they believe you , then they are true friends... and if they dont its their lost. 4th.. you and who ever is joining you to tell ur friend about the mistake u did. Tell them is a nice way. Tell them it hurt you that you could ever do something to a close friend like them, comfort them. Dont tell them anyone else was there...in ur group. now dont lie about it. Just say " I was not thinking and I was in a upset mood that day, I would never want to hurt you or your feelings. I would never want that to happen to me. So i must say I'm truley sorry and I hope u can some how and someday for give me. I know it will take u sometime to have any trust in me again. but I will promise to you I will never say a bad thing about you or anyone else that i know i care about". ( just to let u know, this is off the top of my head. I think u should put a little more thought into it...before u open ur mouth, you may say something to offend them in a bigger way). Now they may not forgive you, your other friends may not want to talk to you for a bit. BUT your the one who went out on the limb to make things right, and have a clear train of thought now. Everyone else knows what they did was wrong, and until they fix it they will have that on their heart for a long long long time. SO i apploud you. Just make sure, You dont talk about people behind their back. It will only cause DRAMA. Now if u dont want to do that then just confront the circle of friends that were talkin about that person, and say i really think we need to or stop ( if they start talkin drama stuff agian) That person is my friend and I for one do not like to hear anything negative about her/he. And if they say well you were talking smack before. Tell them that yes u were, and you feel bad for sayin such things. Because they are one of ur close friends. ( Oh and if in the first plan if u go with it and no one wants to be your friend at that point, just to let you know... most of them will get over it. some may not. But remember your a better friend for doing what you did. AND AGAIN I APLOUD YOU!!!!

Answer 3

In situations like this it would have just been better to keep silent. It certainly didn't make that person feel good knowing that your were gossiping about them.
And think about it, you told the person that you were gossiping about them. You had to be talking about them to SOMEONE. It wouldn't taken a rocket scientist to figure out you were gossiping to the others in the group.
So now she thinks you are two-faced, and the group thinks you ratted them out.

Answer 4

You talked,and I'M guessing it couldn't have been to hard to know who you told.He confronted them,and once again it wasn't hard to figure who told him,they know it was you.Now you can't be trusted.