2006-11-21 19:16:46 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
I've been in school trying to earn a degree so we don't have to stay poor forever and he keeps leaving the kids with strangers. He refuses to get them medical treatment when they need it; my daughter was so ill when he finally allowed me to see her that I wanted to take her to the ER. The bastard wouldn't let me and we have no phone, only his cell so I couldn't call 911. He's "mobbed up" as they say, and has promised to kill me if I try to leave him. I have no car and no access to one. There is no way for me to get help. My family supports his idea of being a good husband, ie keeping me ignorant and poor, as well as beaten. There's no way I can get to the cops, and he knows too many people for me to even risk going to them. I have one friend who could possibly help me escape, but fleeing out of state with the kids is extremely illegal. I need to figure out how to escape legally, before he kills me or does something to them.
2006-11-21 19:34:46 · update #1
Is your husband abusing them? Is it the childrens father? You have to give more information to recieve information.
Depends on the state. Call the police. Put him in jail. Leaving the state won't stop his abuse, wether its on your children or someone elses.
2006-11-21 19:18:20 · answer #1 · answered by HarleeNicole 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No. Not unless your preference is to end up on a milk carton.
Some questions:
1. How do you know they are being abused? Is this something that you have seen or is this something that the kids have told you?
2. Have you filed a report with the police?
3. Have you filed a report with Child Protective Services?
4. Have you contacted any shelters that take in families in spousal abuse situations?
That is where you start. I am not saying that you should not run away, but that is a last resort and not a first option.
Your option could have you lose your children forever. You need to do this by the book.
2006-11-22 03:22:45 · answer #2 · answered by Anon Tom 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
U SHOULD do something about it. Log a report at the police. Have you anyone who can give evidence or support your report? Leaving the state is not the answer if its your husband who hurts them. Coz you will still be legally married. He could file charges against you for something if you leave.
Send the kids to a relatives for a short while just before logging report. This would keep them safe from the abuser once he gets to know of the complaint.
Get the help of someone to mentally support you through it.
If you think that it may hurt kids image... don't worry. would you rather they suffer memories for the rest of their lives or be happy that the abuser was brought to justice. If you are still worried about the kids...leave the state once everything is cleared and case is finished. Then start life afresh.
Don't be afraid to ask for help.
2006-11-22 03:24:27 · answer #3 · answered by Tashamster 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
open your phone book up and find the nearest legal aid, and abuse shelters. if you call the abuse shelter, they can steer you to what ever services you need. a neighbor will let you use the phone? a friend? you have no one?
i dont think its kidnapping unless a court has already ordered custody to one of you. ask legal aid. if thats the case, fleee and dont look back.
tough spot to be in, been there myself...with 4 kids. i contacted the shelter, got an attorney and threw him out (with the help of the police). since he was a control freak, and abusive, he fought me for custody for 2 1/2 years. they always want to take what is important to us, as well as hate to pay child support (which by the way, is called child support, not child trust fund, when he asks why his kids arent being handed the money he sends).
he finally stopped when i started video taping (unedited), which clearly showed him not showing up for visitation, the effect it had on the children, the clothing, bikes, etc he never returned, the fact that i never questioned the children and they would just walk in saying "dad says your a ______". Lots and lots of names he said to those kids. it also showed he never changed their clothes and didnt feed them. it also showed he didnt obey the court orders.
i wooped him, his nosey instigating mama, and his high powered attorney… with those tapes. month after month of every weekend… unedited tapes, to show it was not a once in a while kinda thing.
he was proven unfit with those tapes . you need an objective person to view them and write an evaluation, for courts never take the time.
one thing is certain. when you get visitation for the kids to see him, make sure its "set visitation". if you allow him to come and go at his own convenience, he will make your life a living hell.
OPEN UP THAT PHONE BOOK IN THE MORNING and start calling around.
more help at the link below:
www.angelfire.com/nj4/ njcomputerchick
hang in there, what doesnt kills us, makes us stronger.
2006-11-22 03:43:11 · answer #4 · answered by Yvette B yvetteb 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The kids are the priority. Get them out of harms way any way you need to. After they are safe, you can write down in a journal all of the facts about the abuse. This is important to do, as it will show the judge that you are responsible and love the kids enough to take action against evil. You can then file for divorce, with full custody of the children and no visitation rights with your spouse.
2006-11-22 03:25:46 · answer #5 · answered by ? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that it could be considered kidnapping, unless you contact CPS. If your children are in fact being abused, the FIRST thing you need to do is file a report with the police, and see what they suggest. Call CPS and have an investigation done. Do whatever you have to do to protect your babies, but be safe and make sure you don't put them in the hands of their potential abuser until you know the truth.
2006-11-22 03:26:04 · answer #6 · answered by munkees81 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ripping kids away from a parent and leaving the state is also abuse. There are more mature, responsible parent like options you must think about before kidnapping your children, which is what you would feel if your partner accused you of abusing them, and then skip town.
2006-11-22 03:24:46 · answer #7 · answered by ckgene 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Report the abuser and have the abuser arrested. What if the abuser did this to other children?
2006-11-22 03:22:44 · answer #8 · answered by drshorty 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you have proof of the abuse taking place, you can get a court order.
2006-11-22 03:20:13 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would take them and flee the state. AND dont tell him where you are.AND tell some one on the other end you fled 4 your life.
2006-11-22 03:26:04 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋