Rewarding yourself?

Question

Ok, I know that people will tell you that when you are trying to accomplish a goal that you would procrastinate about, you should reward yourself with something you would like to do. Yeeah,...that doesn't work for me. For example, I love to get massages, but if I tell myself that if I study for an hour I get a massage, I'll just say "to hell with it" and ditch studying for the massage. Then I'll just kick myself about it when I fail a test, or end up not turning in a homework assignment. I love to take care of my home. I want to be consistant with a routine for cleaning and organizing, but I never keep up with it. For example, I want to get a head start on cleaning, so that I can start cooking early for Thanksgiving, instead of doing it all at the last minute (especially since I left a mountain of dishes last night). It's 1:45am and I still haven't done a thing. But, you can bet I'm sitting here beating myself up about. What is that?!

Answer 1

You're in denial, lack of willpower, and/or lazy -- and it's probably not completely your fault for being that way.. You find that you want to put some effort into something, but realize there's work involved and shy away. It's a common trait -- I've done it from time to time.

But, I'm sure there was at least one time in your life -- probably a while back -- where you actually came through -- and finished something you set for yourself and relished the great feeling of accomplishment. The trick is to get back to that routine -- should you want to that is. It's one thing to "beat yourself up about it" and another to put that same effort into just getting the task done.

I can say from my experience that if I had a task to perform and set out a reward for it, I'd rather get the task over with and truly enjoy the reward.

Otherwise if I cheat and reward myself without showing anything for it, it cheapens the "rewarding" experience.

Good luck with this, and with your Thanksgiving cooking! If it helps any, there's a "power" button on the computer -- get crackin' =o)

Answer 2

Are you familiar with "Pavlov's Dogs".....it's an old thing about an experiment this European worked on his dogs, something along the "fetch-reward" theory....a little more demented though. Friend.....welcome to one of the most commonest, of the human frailty's. If you poled 1000 people on the street.....80% or better would be guilty of that very thing.....me included. My Mom used to tell me, I'll miss my own funeral. In all seriousness, it's a very bad trait....of all my bad habits, that one, is by far the worst. It's a major topic between my shrink and myself....I'm working on it though. It can progress to an even worse state.....as you get older, you start avoiding any task at all, because you become aware that you won't see it through. The good Doctor has given me some things I can do.......instead of major projects that I don't finish, I set small goals....simple things, even the everyday chores, like that sink full of dishes you have. I have the best plans and intentions, having been in the military, I have to have things in military order, when I left that enviorment...I was done with that. So you can stop being hard on yourself, try using what the Doc worked out for me......YOU CAN DO IT.........LATER

Answer 3

What is missing is the D-word..discipline and you ain't got it. And you don't think you need it. You've got the money to do what you want and you don't have to struggle, you just blow off your failures and keep on spending your free money. Quit beating yourself up, you've got exactly what you want.

Or you could decide that you don't have what you want and put yourself on a real budget (no massages!!) get the work done for class and for home and do not spend a dime until it is done. You've got to find what really motivates you. Cheap rewards aren't doing it. Learn discipline now! Then the rewards will help to motivate you.

Answer 4

so why don't you get up from your chair, do the dishes, do the cleaning, do the homework and everything instead of typing some questions....?????

btw...the reward thing won't work if your mind is on the reward but not doing the job....so stick to what you say, do the job and ignore the reward until you finish it.....

Answer 5

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Answer 6

I can relate to what you're saying totally. You just have to work on your time management...and sometimes it takes a lot of determination. I know you can do it so don't give up....if I can anyone can...

Answer 7

this means u should remember the meaning of life
every day counts

Answer 8

Get off the computer!!!!!!