Happy Thanksgiving and the inlaws?

Question

i am not married (divorced), my children are older now and do not wish to go with my ex or near his family for this thanksgiving. do they have a say in their wishes at 17, 15, 12 & 10? are they old enough to make up their minds? they say they dont want to hear them badmouth me yet again, and are tired of hearing it. any opinions?

i have been waiting for years for these people to grow up, and tell the kids to ignore the nasty remarks. they say they are just tired of it.

court orders have not stopped it either, i have plenty of them.

thanks so much,
Yvette B aka mom of 4 (and all neighborhood kids :) )
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Answer 1

if your kids don't want to go and it will make them miserable to go then you should have your ex talk to them alone and plead their case. otherwise he will think that it is all your doing.

Answer 2

it depends on what the visitation agreement states --- otherwise they go there for Thanksgiving. The children can speak to the judge about what's happening at their dad's and his family and changes can be made to the visitation agreement. Since none of that is in the best interest of the children - I don't see any need to expose them to that kind of behavior.... if nothing else ask for the visits to be supervised!