A friend's daughter was pregnant and had a baby shower. She lost the baby. What does she do with the gifts?

Answer 1

I think this may help---http://www.multiplebirthsfamilies.com/articles/ber_q25.html

Answer 2

I think the comment about having the shower after the baby is born is obsurd. The whole reason for having a shower is that the parents are ready and well stocked when baby arrives. That comment was insensitive!

As many have suggested... I think giving the gifts to a shelter or charity is a great idea. She could keep them for future babies. Give them back...I don't think so. It's not as though she got pg, has the shower and got all the way to delivery day and decided she didn't want a baby. This was a tragic event. If she CHOOSES to give the gifts back, then fine, but I certainly don't think she's obligated. What are the people that gave her the gifts going to do with them? Keep them for future use, or donate them. I think that is the best idea. God bless her.

Answer 3

This is different than if someone got presents at a bridal shower and didn't go through the wedding. Honestly, it's up to her at this point. No one is expecting her to give back the presents at this point and time because it is such a tramatic experience. She can do many things depending on her feelings. She can store the clothes away in some bins and put them away where she can't see them for the time being but can use them later. She can offer to give back the outfits (but honestly, I doubt anyone would take them back) and she could send a lovely note to all the people who gave her presents, and give them to a family that is truely needy and need those baby essentials. All of these can be difficult so the best thing may be to give her some time, hide away the presents for now, and give her some grieving time before she makes these decisions. Most likely she will want to try again and she may want these presents for her next little one.

Answer 4

If I were her I wouldnt want the gifts around, anyway. Maybe the best thing to do would be have the daughters mother contact people from the shower, and ask them if they would like the gifts back. I think it is appropriate to return them, but.. then again.. that is an extremely sensative subject and might push the mother over the edge. If nothing else, she should send thank you's, and some sort of thank you gift to those who brought her a gift, if she chooses to keep them.

Answer 5

that's sad. she was probably far along if she had her shower. personally, i feel that she should do nothing if she is not in the right frame of mind yet. the gifts should be the last thing on her mind, and i think people will understand and probably don't expect their gift back. i know i would feel crappy if one of my friend's lost their baby and gave me back the gift. i think if she wanted to hold on to them, box it up and put it away from another time--that's fine. i think if she wants to give them back that's fine. and i think if she donated them to a church or something and let the people know in a thank you card, that's good too. but in her own time when she's ready--and not any sooner....and enlist family and friends to help. it might be too hard to be around baby things for a baby that is no longer here--in time, she may want no reminders...that is when good friends will be helpful.

Answer 6

Let me first start off saying that I'm sorry to hear that about her baby. But in my opinion there's only two things to do in a situation such as this one, she can hold on to the gifts for memories of the baby that she's lost, or either she could give them to someone else that maybe can use them.

Answer 7

I knew someone in the same position, they chose to keep the gifts, & a year later used them for a new baby. They sent out thank you cards all over again. And for the answer above... I ahve never been to a post birth baby shower , except for adoption.

Answer 8

I just lost my pregnancy two weeks ago. I have a lot of stuff that I bought myself (luckily I just recently had a baby so there wasn't much for gifts). I plan to just put it away until I have another child. We plan to try again in 6mo (the waiting time after a 2nd or 3rd trimester loss) and I plan to send some clothes to another friend who is expecting.

What I really want to know is who is going to come clean out my closet of the maternity clothes, because I just can't do it.

Answer 9

I'm so sorry to hear that this happened to your friend's daughter. I'm sure that no one would begrudge whatever she chose to do with the gifts. Honestly, whatever makes your friend's daughter feel best. If she wants to return them, I think she should have that option. She could hang onto them if she felt okay with that in my opinion. If the guests don't mind, and it would make her feel better, perhaps she would want to donate them to charity. Please note that many larger communities have support groups for people who have lost babies through miscarriage or stillbirth. Call a local community information centre, public health or distress centre to see if there is one where she is. I'm very sorry for her loss.

Answer 10

It wouldnt be a bad idea to give away the gifts to someone more needy or a charity. Keeping the gifts for the next child may remind her about her miscarriage and bring back bad memories.

Answer 11

My fiance's uncle went through this. They donated all of the gifts that they received for their little girl to a local charity. They conceived again about 6 months later and had another shower and received all new things(they have 2 healthy little boys now). It was better for them to donate the gifts then to keep them around the house reminding them of their little girl. But this is not ideal for everyone. Let her grieve and make the decision on her own(not that I think you are trying to persuade her to do one thing or another).