I think I'm ready to have a baby, and I've wanted one for years. I take care of all of my friends children when they need it and now I want one of my own.
Problem is, my husband doesn't want a baby. I'm so desperate, I'm thinking of going to a sperm bank, or getting a friend to impregnate me. (my husband and I use the POOT ((pull out on time)) method, and we know it's not the best thing to do if you dont want to have a baby, so I figure he'll just think he didn't pull out early enough or something.)
What do you guys think???
2006-11-21 15:25:42 · 14 answers · asked by Katy K 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Not a good idea. Didn't you two discuss children before you got married? If so and you agreed to none then you then you have no right to trick him. If you didn't discuss it (big mistake) then it should be open for change. But if your using the "POOT" method your very apt to get pregnant anyway, do you know that a man starts to seep seaman from the onset of an erection? So pulling out is a waste of time, your lucky you haven't gotten pregnant already. Your Dr. can verify this. Anyway, what if you tricked him and there was something wrong with the baby and it needed blood and come to fine out neither of you could donate because the blood types don't match? And if it were to born with a different RH factor that's exactly what will happen. I'm afraid if you trick your husband your marriage will be over. I don't know how old you are but women are having babies later and later in life so why not just give him some time. He could change his mind.
2006-11-21 15:38:05 · answer #1 · answered by sharpeilvr 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I don't think you should trick your husband... Chances are that one day he'll figure it out, and then what? You'd have your baby but your family would be broken. Also, would it really be fair for a child to have a father that doesn't really want kids? I don't know, but I think people who don't like or don't want children don't make the best parents.
You should talk to your husband, and see if he is willing to understand and listen to how you feel. Maybe you'll be surprised at his reaction.
Did you not talk about this before getting married? Or had you agreed to not have children and now you want one?
If you're really set on having children, and he doesn't want any, then you might have to think about if he's the right person for you to spend the rest of your life with. If your dream is to have children and have a family, then this doesn't seem like the guy for you. You shouldn't have to force him to be a father when he doesn't want to be, and you shouldn't give up having kids just because he doesn't want any. Your interests seem to be very different and that's a tough situation for somebody to compromise on.
2006-11-21 15:33:27 · answer #2 · answered by spanish kitty 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that would be deceitful and when the child doesn't look like him you're going to have major problems. What you need to do is decide if being married to your husband w/out kids or divorcing your husband to have kids is the way to go. Offer those options to your husband when you tell him again you really want a child. As a woman you only have a certain window to have children if he changes his mind 20 yrs from now he can still have a child but you may not.
2006-11-21 15:30:10 · answer #3 · answered by uknowme 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that's a horrible idea to lie to your husband about being the father of this potential baby when you know it's not and clearly gave this some thought about going out of your way to have someone else's child.
You're being rather selfish by not considering your husband's feelings and being ready and willing to lie to his face about this. But at the same time, didn't you have the "children discussion" before you were married? Then you would have already known that he didn't want to have children and you could have moved on to marry someone who DID.
You're kind of stuck now. You either discuss it with him and see if you can change his mind and have him really accept the idea of a baby FROM THE HEART or ... you leave him and find someone who wants to have kids.
Lying about your husband being the father of this baby you want to have when you know it's not is beyond inconsiderate and irresponsible.
2006-11-21 15:31:56 · answer #4 · answered by Imperfect 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, definitely don't go get impregnated by someone elses sperm. You mine as well cheat on him...which is how i take the "friend impregnating me."
Definitely don't trick him into getting you pregnant or anything like that...chances are he won't be the greatest father. Be smart. Do it right. Talk to him about it. If he respects what you want, maybe you guys can come to some kind of conclusion. You never know. What do you got to lose?
2006-11-21 16:55:43 · answer #5 · answered by Roxy1316 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're in for a world of problems if you try to expand your family that way. You will be sitting on a throne of lies!! It's not wise to be deceitful about something so life changing. The best thing for you to do is talk to your husband about how important it is to you and go from there. Make the decision together.
2006-11-21 15:34:42 · answer #6 · answered by dwinkle 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i just have to ask you 1 question...Why in the heck are you even married to this poor man? this poor man knows that his wife wants a baby but has no clue that she is thinking about having sex with another man to make it happen. Thats just horrible and so hurtful for him. I hope you make the right decision and dont do that or a sperm bank and wait for him to be ready for a family. good luc
2006-11-21 16:14:03 · answer #7 · answered by ihaveoceaneyes 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
the question of paternity WILL come up , believe me the best thing to do is tell him your feelings and how badly you want kids but only if your mature enough just cause your married does not mean you ready to be a mommy...i was not ready till almost 34 so take my advice and ask yourself and your husband..
2006-11-21 15:32:02 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i agree with the first answerer, but i think you should also understand that if you entered the marriage knowing he didn't want children, that's just too bad. on the other hand, if he did want to have children...and he still refuses, you can file for divorce. the courts will side with you since you wanted to start a family of your own from the beginning.
2006-11-21 15:36:14 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
dont go to a sperm bank its not the right thing to do if worse comes to worse divorce your husband and marry someone who cares about your true wants and not so selfish about them self
2006-11-21 15:31:00 · answer #10 · answered by bree 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋