My husband is really depressed, he has been working really hard and supporting me through college, we have two beautiful daughters and have been married for over 5 years. He is having a hard time paying the bills and keeping up with the maintanence of our home, it seems everything is falling apart, our refrigerator quit working, we've had termites forever, our carpet is old and we need new, our girls need clothes, he has a lot of pressure from the homefront. Daycare is so expensive, it cost over 120.00 a week for just two days of daycare, 5 hours a day. We could pay our house payment or have a brand new car with that money. I support him, but don't know how to show him or what to do. I fee like I need to show him, I don't like seeing him depressed. Help in this time of need, oh and by the way his work truck is about to give up on him, it's had it's last life. HELP
2006-11-21 15:15:46 · 12 answers · asked by tgallenstein01 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Do you work? If not, it might be time to consider getting a job yourself to help ease the financial pressure. Find something that will allow you to work a few hours a week, during the evenings or some time when your hubby is home, so you don't have to pay for daycare during that time.
You may also consider babysitting other children for income. You are a mother, and if you want to be able to stay and take care of your kids, add a few others and make a few bucks at the same time. You don't have to go crazy, one or two children a day can help out a lot (you've seen for yourself how much daycare is!) In Canada, there is a real shortage of people willing to babysit - not sure where you are but it's likely the same. Take a first aid course to cover yourself. I don't believe there are any other requirements (in my area anyway) so it's a pretty low cost investment.
Besides financially, you can help your husband to feel less depressed by being kind, supportive, and by taking care of all the little things that stress him out. You don't sound like you are in a position to get a brand new car, so I would forget about that, and any other suggestions that would further stress him out.
Remember, a marriage is a partnership in every sense. Do what you can to help carry some of his burden. Seek medical advice if you this his depression requires it.
Good luck!
2006-11-21 15:25:45 · answer #1 · answered by p_i_turtle_sanders 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Be supportive to him and ask like the dude above...... also....
you might want to see about a part time job or simplifying some of your expenses... see what you can live without like cell phones, cable/satelite, or other memberships... if you only take your kids two days a week, it sounds like you probably are a stay at home mom, if so, don't take your kid to daycare, you can save that cash too and free up some stress from your husband.
Tell him (regularly) with a complement and a little affection that you appreciate how he works hard for you.... that will go a long way.
Don't just tell him things will get better, if you do that and not have a plan behind you, it won't mean anything (I don't know why women think that helps cuz it doesn't).... if you want to help, come up with a plan for it to get better and share it with him... THEN tell him things will get better and tell him why.
2006-11-21 23:36:48 · answer #2 · answered by Say it like it is 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't know what your situation is other than just the facts you stated, but I am a stay at home mom. I am going to wait until my children are old enough to do for themselves before I go back to school. Daycare is expensive and school is not cheap either. Would it be possible for you to put school on hold so that the extra money can be put into the house or bills or cloths for the kids? I know you probably want to finish school and have worked hard to get where you are, but is it worth the extra stress? Best wishes to you and your family.
2006-11-21 23:45:18 · answer #3 · answered by mom of 2 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's awesome that you have such a supportive and faithful husband. Ask him how you can be helpful to him. You may be surprised to find out some of the things that you can do to ease his load. Also, ask him about the things that are going on that you can't do anything about. There is great power in knowing that someone is willing to share your load with you. Pray for his needs and you'll be amazed at how it will bring you closer together and what a great example you can set for your girls as they watch the two of you work through tough times. These are the times that can make your family stronger, your marriage more intimate and set your girls up to be supportive wives down the road.
2006-11-21 23:32:02 · answer #4 · answered by jamilu 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like money is a big cause of his depression. Have you thought about refinancing your house or maybe taking out a second? I did that. I got rid of over $900 a month in outgoing bills, and my house payment only went up $300. If you refinanced and you have equity in your house, you could pay off the bills and take out enough to put some saving in the bank for a rainy day.
Good luck!
2006-11-21 23:27:53 · answer #5 · answered by Royalhinney 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Um, this may not be a popular answer but, you need to help out honey. School will be there, next year or the year after. You need to get some money into the house before everything, and I mean everything, falls apart.
2006-11-21 23:30:34 · answer #6 · answered by Ade 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
from all this you've mentioned and you already know what's your husband so depressed about.
To solve this ----> you've to do your part to help.
Stop your college for time being and take care of your two beautiful daugthers by your own. It's help save a lot money of college fee & day care fee and for those money can fixed everything.
When your husband got xtra, you can start at your college back.
2006-11-21 23:29:19 · answer #7 · answered by peter71 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
At least there is one good lady who notices that her hubby needs support. Baby I am a man and if there is anything I would like from my wife at a time like that is To call me and tel me baby, thank you for supporting us, I know it is hard and I wish I could do more. Please let me know if you need me to do anything that will help ease off the pressure..or something to that extent.
Me we need to hear our spouses telling us hat they understand and that they are not taking s for granted, some appreciation, take car of that billy, he will need it.
God bless your heart for recognizing that your man is stressed supporting the family. I can bet on you that if he hears this he could die trying t make you even happier!
2006-11-21 23:29:12 · answer #8 · answered by Trinity 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
wow you guys are both having it rough. show him how much you appreciate him by writing him a sweet letter. just let him know how you really feel and how much you wish you could make it all better. help him out with anything that you know how to do around the house. the less for him to worry about the better. just be there for him.
2006-11-21 23:21:29 · answer #9 · answered by beckdawgydawg 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Quit and do the housework for him. Why can't? If you really love him that much. Save a lot on day care.
2006-11-21 23:38:58 · answer #10 · answered by Borchap 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋