how can i make myself be happy?

Question

thanksgiving and xmas use to be my favorite holidays but now i dread them i dont look forward to much of anything anymore.. i have had to go through so much crap in the past few years and i just think my plate is so full i cant deal anymore.. i have lost my dad. then a good friend killed herself and then i lost my very best friend suddenly of a heart attack we had lunch at 2 and by 4 she was gone also i have had to deal with my nephew who i raised as my own. his wife left him and took there baby that was my grand baby i was there when she was born and i baby sat all the time and then she took her and wont let us see her it has been 3yrs now. also my niece is the same way her mom left the state and took her too.. my husband drinks and is drinking more now then ever.. my kids are good they love me but they dont show me respect. they feel that they dont have to do anything around the house. every since my best friend died in 04 i cant get in the mood for life i try to be happy but i just

i cant seem to be happy no matter how hard i try. i have talked to counclers and they say i have had alot of let downs and grief takes along time but will get better well it isnt its getting worse.

so what can i do to feel better? does anyone else feel hopless and let down by everyone? oh and the fact that i am totally in debt doesnt help any either.. i am not suicidal i am tottaly against that i just need some advice some friendly comments something to give me some kind of hope that this world has some good left in it i am a good person i give everything i can i help people i am never mean to a human or animal.. i have a soft heart and try to live rite but no matter what i chose i seem to get sh t on some one any one any ideas?

thanks but i have 4 of them that i love dearly

guess i should have put have a hurt dog should i take him to the vet as my question line then maybe i would get some answers lol....

i must say the fact that you think im old is pretty funny i am 38 lol

i want to thank you all for the answers but i dont know what one to pick as best they were all good so i think i will let the voters pick on this one thank you so much to all

Answer 1

It just takes time. It doesn't mean you will forget the pain of your loss, it just is somewhat easier to bear. You need to dig deep within yourself and pull your own self up. Sometimes you get into a rut after something traumatic. You get used to feeling sad and down. You forget how to be happy. Would your friend want you to still be depressed and grieving? I know you have probably heard all of this before but...I am very sorry for your grandbaby being taken away. Grandparents can get visitation. As far as your husbands drinking well that is his problem, but your depression may be hurting him as well, it can affect the people around you. You just have to try, surround yourself with things that once made you happy. Do you not have any other friends? Job? Outside interest?. The reason I feel for you is because I also lost my best friend in 2001 from a heart attack. The sad part to her story was she was raising her granddaughter because her daughter was killed in a motorcycle accident and left a 3 month old behind. Her ex will not allow me to see my friends granddaughter because of some irreconcilable differences he and I have. Then not long after that I lost another person in my life. Life is cruel...but life is also short and you must make the best of it for yourself and the loved ones that are still in your life. Good Luck to you... and yes, my life has greatly improved.

Answer 2

HONEY, it looks like you've been and still are going through some kind of depression. You see, a person just cannot feel sorry for himself/herself, thinking that everything has been taken away. It sounds like you aren't a young person, so if I were you, I'd go to see a priest, or clergy in the Faith that you practice. If you don't go to any church or synagog, start going now. You have to believe in someone, and the first person to believe in is God. The second person to believe in is YOURSELF. You CANNOT SIT BY AND WATCH OTHER PEOPLE GET YOU DOWN - TO THE POINT THAT YOU HAVEN'T ANY HOPE. If your hubby won't go to AAA, YOU should go. Go to the beauty salon and get a new hairdo, buy yourself a new outfit that's really smart looking. Then join a club of some sort: Quilting club; bowling club; or volunteer at a hospital in the pediatric ward, reading to children and showing them how to color or cut funny shapes out. When you make other people happy, YOU start to feel happy. There also are many different clubs at churches. And if you feel that there's nothing left for you to do but be sad, PLEASE talk to your doctor and have him/her recommend a good counseler that you TALK TO at least once a week. Make sure that you look nice all the time. Don't let yourself go, if that's what you've been doing. You need friends - everyone does. Don't look back and dwell on all the sad happenings that put you in this frame of mind. Those sad things happened to SOMEONE ELSE - NOT YOU. YOU ARE MAKING YOURSELF UNHAPPY BY RE-HASHING ALL THOSE THINGS IN YOUR MIND, CONSTANTLY. It's up to you to stand straight and tall and start leaving all those feelings behind you and even try to have someone come to your home and talk to your husband. He needs help if he's an alcoholic. You cannot just sit by and watch him ruin himself. You MUST get yourself out of the house and into normal surroundings. Please help yourself. Don't depend on others to "make" you happy. Your happiness will be forthcoming after you start smiling and help other people. Ask at your church, or at a school to introduce you to an organization that has 'volunteer" grandmothers, who spend one or two days with a child a week, who doesn't have any grandparents. It can be so rewarding to see a child smile and love you. We all need love. Last, but not least, you said that your own children don't respect you. I don't know their ages, but if they are over 8 yrs. old, they should have chores to do each day. Don't wait on them hand and foot - by that I mean: They should learn how to keep their own rooms neat and to dust furniture in the home; clear the table after dinner, etc. AND if you start to follow some of my suggestions and start to show your children that you like yourself and you CAN help others, they'll think you're great and will respect you. How can a person be respected when he/she is possibly walking around all the time, head hanging down, no smiles or nice conversations with the children, to show them that you are interested in them. This is all part of life. Good luck to you. I hope things will become better for you.

Answer 3

Try not to be so sad things will get better =) Just try not to be too hard on yourself. I used to go through hard times too but then after a few years, things started to get better. So just hang in there. Things will turn around =)

Answer 4

Maybe you should adopt a dog...he/she might change your life.

It's worth a try.