if a custody order already exist, at what age can the child decide where He/she wants to live?

Question

A custody order exist from the state of North Carolina. It's been in effect since 1999. I recently moved to Georgia and my ex says I can't see my child until I have it switched. She will be 11 yrs old at the end of Dec. How old would she have to be, before she could choose which parent she wanted to live with? How do I go about this whole thing? My ex has not abided by the already existting court order as it is and hasn't for years.

Answer 1

Every state is different in a child having that option. This sounds a bit like a power play by Mom or she has a problem with the child going out of state. Your 'absolute' only option..... and I think you know it..... is consult an attorney - A good one.

Good Luck!!

Answer 2

The child does not get to decide. The judge decides. There is no certain age in NC where a judge is required to take the child’s wishes into consideration. It depends on the maturity level of the specific child. At 11 the judge might or might not consider the child’s wishes. In NC when a custody order is in place, many judges are reluctant to change it unless there is a sufficient change of circumstances (kind of ‘if it works, don’t mess with it’ attitude). I don’t think you moving (voluntary, right?) would constitute that. You need to talk to an attorney to see what your changes of being successful at changing custody might be, as well as to discuss the fact that your ex isn’t abiding by the existing visitation order. If there is a visitation order in place and the ex is refusing to abide by it, then that might help your case. Then again, if this has been going on for years, then why haven’t you already done something?

Answer 3

Unfortunately you will have go to court if you want have war with your ex. A battle is exactly what it will turn into. Before you reach the point of court intervention to decide change of custody think long and hard. A custody battle puts the child right smack in the middle of your battle. Why are you fighting for custody? Are you fighting FOR custody or fighting so that your ex-spouse DOESN'T HAVE custody? Is it in the best interest of the child? If you've determined that it's the right thing to do for the children to go forward, what can you expect when the court intervenes?
The court will take into consideration the best interest of the child when making the decision.
If the court feels that neither parent is acting in the best interest of the child a guardian ad litem may be appointed to help in making decisions on the behalf of the child.
Depending on the age of the child, their wishes may or may not be taken into consideration. Some states strongly take into consideration the wishes of the child depending on their age; some states do not consider the child's wishes at all. I think that 11 year old child is not mature enough for his/her wishes to be prevailing consideration. Can you settle this with your wife? Tell her that you will pursue custody change order if she will not you see child. You can also petition court for order enforcing your visitation rights.

Answer 4

First of all, you should go to your local district court and find out what the laws are about custody arrangements. Second, I believe the legal age for a child to decide where they want to live is up to the current state you are living in. If your ex has not abided by the current custody arrangement, then they are breaking a court order and can be arrested for doing so. Find out what your laws are in your state.

Answer 5

In the state of Georgia a child must be over 13 years old before a judge will alter an order of custody.. Does your child want to live with you, l'll assume so.. What you need to do in the meantime is take your ex-wife back to court charging her in contempt(not adhering to visitation schedule). This will help you in the long run especially since you are currently split by state.. If your lucky you may even be able to have her return to N.Carolina to have this contempt case heard, which would be in your favor also(being a resident of the hearing county also means your a taxpayer in the county, which means they favor their taxpayers).. Good Luck!!!

Answer 6

You have to file an ammendment to the order in the State where your child lives. In the state of Texas a child has to be twelve years old before they can decide. In North Carolina they have to be eleven. Make sur you are current on your support cases and beging right now documenting each time you do have contact with her and escpecially when you request it and are denied. Read the order get your proof in writing. Have a witness. If you are holding up to your end of the bargain, and he's not it will be costly, but easy. Another thing, get a lawyer from the state where your child lives. Laws are different state to state and it is expensive to travel with one. Good luck.

Answer 7

Anyway you look at this, you need help from an attorney. I was told recently by an attorney that they don't really go by the ages too much anymore - but by the circumstances and backgrounds of the parents. They also would probably consider a child at that age to not be ready to make that kind of decision. I hope this works out for you. You ex is not being very nice. You can hold them in contempt of court for not abiding by the order.

Answer 8

Depends on the State. In some states the age is 13

You need a Family lawyer. If you have no money you can seek information from the Legal Aid Society in your State (they are on line)

If you have visitation rights you can see your child but I am not sure about taking the child out of State and that is where the legal advice comes in.

Answer 9

Not sure how it is there but in IL I was told by a lawyer I'd hired that no child under the age of 18 can decide about which parent they chose to live with. A judge will talk to them privately about their choices and will take them into consideration but ultimately it was the judges dscision.

Answer 10

That varies from state-to-state. You need legal advice from an attorney. You can force him to abide by the present order in the meantime. If he hasn't followed it, it's because you allowed it. You should make a copy of it, give it to him and tell him from now on he will follow it, or not see his daughter.

Sue