My husband and I have been married since July. A couple of months ago, my husband & I got into a serious physical fight. I thought my jaw was broke. Long story, short he ended up going to jail overnight. I don't believe in jail or police and didn't want it like that. He called my parents whom I had told the quick story to. They were nice, but wouldn't get him. His sister and mom wouldnt either. He won't speak to my parents now. He speaks daily to his sister. My birthday is Thanksgiving. He won't go because of this grudge against my parents. I feel bad. I want my husband to celebrate both holidays with me and my family. He doesn't care about family, but I do. Am I wrong to feel like I do?
2006-11-21 14:01:33 · 35 answers · asked by Amelia 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Well...not to sound like a ***** but first of all....I think your, to put it nicely, not that smart for staying with a guy who you thought broke your jaw. 2nd. he is an *** for being pi$$ed at your parents for not getting his sorry wife beating @$$ out of jail. I am probely not the best person to give advice on this, cause I think any man that hits a woman is a sorry piece of crap. I seen my mom get the crap beat out of her all my life.
So I would tell him fine and go to your families house without him. Besides, your family probely doesn't really care if he shows up or not concidering he hit there daughter.
2006-11-21 14:16:54 · answer #1 · answered by jessdjnick 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sorry to say it doesn't sound like this marraige is off to a good start. You might want to try some counseling together. If you and your husband have already had a fight that bad, it sounds like you have some issues that need to be addressed.
So far he's been violent with you, his values are different (from your closeness to your family) and he does not care whether you are happy. He holds a grudge toward your parents who responded the same as his family when he was in jail. Don;t you think you might be better off without this guy?
2006-11-21 14:08:48 · answer #2 · answered by Ms. Switch 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Seriously...in the big scheme of things, this one Thanksgiving isn't that important. You should be thinking about when to serve him with papers. Sure...there are two sides to every story. None of us were there, but regardless...he should not have hit you and ending up in jail should be clue enough to you to get out. Sure you were just as much a part of the fight, but in the end, do you want to live like that? Go to your family's holiday dinner and enjoy them and your birthday and forget him. Plan on divorce ASAP. Sorry. I really don't advocate divorce, but come on!! Not safe.
2006-11-21 14:19:40 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your relationship with your husband is in alot of trouble right about now. You and your husband need to find a way to communicate with one another without the physicl stuff. He can be angry at your parent but if anything he should feel ashamed of how he treated you. Believe me if it happened once then it will happen again to you. If ya'll don't get help then you need to move on. so I guess I have not answered your question about the holiday. Here it is spend it with your husband and if things get physically get out of there quick.
2006-11-21 14:47:22 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hey no you are not wrong to feel like this, what a shame your hubby cant forgive and forget, i guess that if his family were not to help him he would forget it in time but not the same with your family as the old saying goes blood is thicker than water.
You should talk to your hubby and tell him that neither of the familes are any better than each other (as neither would help him at the time) and explain that you are going to have a lot of years together and thats alot of family time too, hopefully he will come round soon and speak to your side of the family again
2006-11-21 14:07:44 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why is your question am i wrong for feeling like that. I understand that he's your husband but he doesn't have any remorse for what he's done to you. He needs counseling and so do you. If I were you I'd start being a little more independent. I grew up with my mother being beat up, and it doesn't stop even if he goes a few months with not hitting you. If the underlying issue is not resolved he will grow resentment against you and your family and it will get easier for him to hit you again.
2006-11-21 14:15:57 · answer #6 · answered by Chantilly Lace 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You don't believe in jail?
He has alot of nerve being upset with your family because he hit you in the jaw. This is not going to be resolved by Thanksgiving. Go to your parents' house without him. I'm guessing they'll be just as happy that he's not there.
2006-11-21 14:06:39 · answer #7 · answered by pinniethewooh 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think that you need to see his abusive behavior as a pattern that will continue over the years if you stay with him. Evaluate your life if you were with him 20 years from now and he was still hitting you. It would be a terrible situation.
Your parents are right not to bail him out. If he does not like your parents, that's his problem. You can not change his feelings.
2006-11-21 14:25:58 · answer #8 · answered by Stareyes 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Let me get this right…he hit you so hard you suspected that your jaw might have been broken. And when he was arrested for this ACT OF VIOLENCE, he had the nerve to call your parents to see if the would bail him out? Then when they refused, he had the nerve to get mad at them? And you’re torn over this? What’s wrong with you? Get out now before he does a lot more than break your jaw.
2006-11-21 15:51:16 · answer #9 · answered by kp 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your family knows what I do: He's gonna hurt you again. That's why they wouldn't help him and his attitude is not one of apology from what you have told us. If I was your parents, I wouldn't care if he came or not, and would probably prefer he didn't, at least until he does some serious repenting and gets counseling and anger management courses.
If he hasn't done that, Thanksgiving is not your biggest problem.... the next fight is.
Sue
2006-11-21 14:05:44 · answer #10 · answered by newbiegranny 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋