I have tried to end if before but she didn't take the hint. I tried to avoid her, make other plans, always be busy. She kept persuing me, so I finally told her how I feel. Things got better for awhile but she's back to her old ways. She is self-centered, talks only of her problems, expects me to cater to her. She can find a sitter any time she wants to to go hang out with other people but with me she usually doesn't bother. She says she loves me, pours out her heart to me, but the thing is, I don't do the same. I don't have that comfort level or trust her enough. I don't even feel like telling her my problems, b/c I figure she's not listening anyway. The friendship means more to her than me, b/c I am a good friend. I feel this is a one-sided relationship and I am not investing emotionally in it at all. I really want to let it go. Help!
2006-11-21 13:08:37 · 17 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
JUST HAVE A TALK AND END IT!!
2006-11-21 13:12:56 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would want to head for the hills in your situation. I view friendships as relationships where each party receives something from the other person and in turn offers something. I don't think you have outgrown your friend but you aren't emotionally invested anymore and it may be time to move on. Whatever exchange was meant to be between the two of you is complete and I wouldn't worry about letting her go.
Sounds like you may have to set some strong boundaries and just not be available. Eventually people give up and find others.
I hope you find a friend that you are more compatible with.
2006-11-21 21:16:11 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
That's exactly what you need to tell her hon, it that it's only a one sided relationship, and your not a part of it and don't even want to try to be.
Self centered people expect the rest of us to put up with them rather we care to or not.
It's sure not like your going to ruin a friendship, so why not just put an end to it. Stop talking to her on the phone, when she's at the door, don't answer it. Just turn the other way, once you tell her this.
2006-11-21 21:13:27 · answer #3 · answered by peggin_beast 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Then let it go naturally. If she begins to tell you of her problems and pours out her heart, make an excuse and walk away.
I've had friends like that too. It's hard to be the one to end a friendship, especially for that reason, so I know what you are going through. I've had to pretty much be rude and ugly with them in order to end the friendship, and that hurt me more than I was able to let on.
2006-11-21 21:12:56 · answer #4 · answered by arewethereyet 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Cut her out completely, after you tell her you are going to do so. Change your number, habits, whatever you need to so that she has no access. Then keep your word and truly avoid her. You will have to be mean and don't speak to her at all. By all means be rude! Stop being her friend. This will end badly for you if you can not be strong.
2006-11-21 21:16:13 · answer #5 · answered by believer 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well you have an option. Break her heart and tell the truth are put up with the nagging you go through. It seems like you must have lead her on at some point in time. Why don't you ask her why she likes you so much and then you may see where you went wrong in leading her on.
2006-11-21 21:14:54 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Two things really jump out at me here: that your gut tells you to distance yourself, and that you do not trust this person. First, you have obviously found your instincts to be reliable. Follow them. They speak to you for a reason. This person does not respect your feelings, and pursues her connection to you in spite of your discomfort with it. Second, a person who can't be trusted is not friend material. You evidently respect yourself, so keep to caring for number one, and just say no. Say no to requests for your company, for visits, for your time. This person has nothing to offer you, not even an ear. Your time is valuable... spend it well! Be kind, but be firm. And be careful. Hope this helps. :)
2006-11-21 21:23:31 · answer #7 · answered by NavelRing 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You apparently weren't speaking loud enough for her to hear you. She doesn't take hints well, or she didn't take you seriously when you told her the first time. Time to start avoiding her... don't be around her..... let her see you with other women. I think she'll get that hint. You tried to do it the right way and not hurt her feelings..... but she didn't get it.
2006-11-21 21:18:24 · answer #8 · answered by dathinman8 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you and me and are in the same ocean different boats but near to one another . i have much the same thing going on .
i too think i should end this and so wish i could but this lady lives in the next apartment and i need her to look after my pets when i am at work that is all there is left that i find usefull about her. she does not listen to me all the same sort of stuff as you .
i say ditch her . but i say ditch her to myself and never manage to do it . so hey that is the way it goes.
goood luck .
be nice at least .
2006-11-21 21:16:03 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You aren't really being a good friend to her if you aren't investing yourself emotionally into the friendship. You are just being tolerant. You aren't obligated to her in any way though, and if you really want out, be straight with her and stick to it.
2006-11-21 21:14:22 · answer #10 · answered by Laura Renee 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
So just end it. Watch the call recognition to see if she calls and don't get it. Let you answer machine answer all calls, and only pick up of it's not her. She will get the hint....maybe if npt, she is a malignant narcissist and must be avoided. Ask her not to call.
2006-11-21 21:15:23 · answer #11 · answered by Legandivori 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋