I'm feeling desperate at the moment?

Question

I feel like my life is virtually over. I'm not far off 40 (3 years away) and I look old and tired. I'm permanently on the edge of tears and wondering if this is all really worth the effort anymore.

Can anyone offer some advice about how I can stop feeling like this?

Answer 1

England til I die was very unfeeling but he/she did break you out of feeling sorry for yourself and that is important. When you feel as you do, every thought reinforces your feeling bad and you have to confront those thoughts with positive ones. As has been pointed out, you are alive. Try to write down your negative thoughts, sort them into order of negativity then concentrate as well as you can on how to think better. You say you look old and tired, for instance. Why? Do you smoke too much, drink too much? Think how you can deal with that one issue, treat yourself to whatever cosmetics will help but MOST IMPORTANTLY, remember that they are only thoughts and thoughts can get you down. Fight bad thoughts with good thoughts and good luck. Self doubt hits us all. You're not alone.

Answer 2

Well I can't really tell you that I understand how you feel because I'm not that close to 40, but by the sounds of it you need purpose. If you feel like your life is over you musn't have much to look forward to, so find some stuff that you really enjoy. Social as well as your career, I'm not sure if your working, if you are maybe you need to re-consider whether what your doing is what you want, or if your not maybe you need to consider starting. It's so not too late to start, late 30's isn't even half what through the average working life.

Also, you might need to think about yourself a bit more, do you treat yourself to things you like, like getting your hair done, having a long bath, etc. whatever you really enjoy. If you don't know what you really enjoy try different things, go see some art, comedy, do something crazy and new with some friends (girls only).

Maybe you do all of this, but really what I suggest is you take a good look at your life and figure out what you can do to improve your life and possibly yourself.

And smile, it actually makes you feel really good.

Answer 3

Life's tough basically. I don't know anything about your circumstances, or why you feel this way, but I'll imagine that it could be worse. You're not a child in Iraq for example, watching your family get raped and set alight. Sorry to be harsh, but the simple answer is this. You get one chance at life, that's all, so make the most of it. For one you have a child who needs you. I know the odds sometimes seem unsurmountable but if you imagine that for a moment your life is like climbing the spokes of a wheel in motion. Just as quickly as you reach the top of that wheel and the good times are upon you, you can be thrown back down from those spokes into the dirt. The moral being, that the good times, just like the bad, are always passing by. Chin up and get fighting. Good luck.

Answer 4

Is it possible you are suffering from menopause. It's just that you sound so emotional. Mind you I went through something very similar and was nowhere near menopause. I did speak to a therapist because it was effecting other people in my life. It helped a ton even though when I went in I wasn't sure what I was going in for. The therapist helps you get all the stuff out that you need too, as long as you tell them how crappy you feel.
It might be worth taking a look at these sites about menopause just to see if the ring any bells.
http://202.171.186.106/mia/page1.asp
http://www.womhealth.org.au/factsheets/aboutmenopause.htm
Good luck to you.

Answer 5

If you have insurance or the money to do so, I would suggest making an appointment to speak with a professonal counselor. Depression and the emotions like you are describing are NOT normal if they constantly interfere in your daily life. There are medications as well as therapy that can help you feel better. You definitely should talk to someone, even a clergy member, friend, family, etc. They will be able to help you a lot more than any of us can.

Your life is NOT over. Sometimes things get really rough and you feel like you won't be able to overcome them but please don't give up. Get some help because you don't have to feel this way. Hang in there. If you need someone to talk to, please email me. I really do mean it, I would be glad to listen to you and help you in any way possible. My email is [e-mail]

Answer 6

Do you have some money to get a bit of plastic surgery?? Even some lip injections or some restalyn or a skin rejuvination can do wonders for your appearance and self esteem.

Try exercising and lifting weights every day. IT will eventually make you feel better and have more energy, then if you keep up with it, it will also give you a hot body!!

Take better care of yourself, eat right, force yourself to get out even if you don't feel like it.
Indulge yourself and always use positive self-talk, reassure yourself and give yourself pep talks.
Being your own best friend is the best way to lift your self-esteem.

Answer 7

You are exhibiting some classic signs of depression.
There is one sure fire cure and its simple and easy.
Go into the kitchen and start making peanut butter and jelly sandwiches.Make alot of them and start dropping them into ziplock bags.Get some chips ahoy cookies and do the same thing.Now drive downtown or wherever you see a homeless person and start handing them out.
You will immediately be overcome with a feeling of joy and self worth.Depression is a downward spiral where we become self focused and our problems and shortcomings become magnified.
Redirect that focus outward and provide a service,ANY service
to those in need outside of you.Call a church or the local school
or the red cross.Good Luck!

Answer 8

How long have you been feeling this way?
You have been very couragious in reaching out for help. Remember, YOU ARE NOT ALONE!!
The first thing you need to do is make an appointment to see your GP, or just go to their surgery and see if they will see you today, if you explain to the receptionist how you feel you will hopefully see your GP fairly quickly. Don't worry about sounding silly or self-obsessed, people involved in the Medical Profession encounter these symptoms very frequently and will happily provide you with any treatment you need.

Answer 9

okay, so im 18 so dont shoot me, but 40? pssh. my aunt is in her mid 60s and she has a more active life than my mum who is early 50s. its only over, tired and boring when you say it is. maybe youre depressed or seasonal affective depression (only sad at this time of the year). so, i dont know, join a club or a few groups, send yourself on a cosy holiday for christmas, go shopping one day all snuggled up and appreciate the cold and christmas lights, but yourself a face pack and some pretty smelling things. maybe you could join a gym, excersise releases happy endorphins, makes you feel healthier and more awake. i have depression and havent taken my own advice so im an optomistic depressed girl. i hope you feel better.

Answer 10

Kate love if this is how you feel all the time your very depressed ( you might not like being told this ),but believe me for your own sake you must see the DR I understand how hard it is to make your self go and talk about it ,but it will only get worse ) i got like you and i couldn`t talk to anyone in the end my sister dragged me there and had to talk for me because i wouldn`t or couldn`t
if its this its an illness like any other kind of illness (it`s due to a chemical imbalance in the brain ,) if you get tablets you dont feel drugged or anything and they take a few week till you feel an improvement but they do work .Please try to go .if it`s not depression you have lost nothing but if it is it`s your first step to feeling good about yourself again .if you ever need to talk mail me .getting things off your chest helps too