rFirstly, please do not just preach at me. I am not religious and do not see marriage as a holy sacred union, and neither does he, therefore any answers in this vain are entirely irrelevant for us.
Things have been happening between us for about 4 years now, although he is twice my age, we were attracted to each other instantly. We have become great friends, confidants. I tell him absolutely everything about my life, and vice versa. He comforts me and listens and advises and cares about what is going on with me, more so than anyone else I know. We do not see each other often, as I have moved away, but when we do, it is wonderful to catch up. Neither of us want any kind of monogamy from each other. In fact, we mainly talk about our other relationships with each other...his with his wife, mine with boyfriends how they are going, what we are feeling etc. There is no jealousy between us, nor just lust, but an extremely deep understanding, would it be wrong if this carried on forever?
2006-11-21 12:52:09 · 8 answers · asked by WildWildHeart 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
You are cheating yourself and getting half a man. You should want more for yourself than to be a left over consideration. You aren't legally entitled to anything in his life. If he were to go into the hospital only IMMEDIATE FAMILY will be allowed to see him. You wouldn't have any input as to his care nor would you inherit if something unfortunate were to pass. Any child you would bear would be illegitamate and not subject to a rightful inheritance and legacy. There are many reasons to be married and not all are religious. For you to knowingly become involved with a married man makes you a whore and a thief. That is the reality. That's the way it IS and will always be despite your being "okay" with it. There's a reason it is a secret kept from both of your partners. If there wasn't anything wrong with it then the openness would extend to all partners consenting to the adulteress relationship.
You get what you give & you give what your are getting which is nothing and allowing yourself to be used like a toilet.
2006-11-21 13:58:28 · answer #1 · answered by AVA 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I am not especially religious myself, so I won't preach. Most of what I would say that can be wrong with having an affair with a married man, you have conveniently taken out of the equation.
In most affairs one half of the party or the other ends up with more expectations than the other, & things get pretty messy after that. But you have already stated that you two don't have any of those expectations (monogamy etc). It is so nice that you two have such a deep understanding of one another.
There is one very important thing that you are overlooking though.
HIS WIFE!
One day she may find out about you, & then you may have a new relationship that you never bargained for. SHE may believe in the sanctity of marriage, & she may want to let you know just how much she believes.
You aren't playing an entirely safe game here. You asked if there is anything wrong with having an affair with a married man, well that's one thing to consider, if you haven't already.
2006-11-21 13:25:09 · answer #2 · answered by No More 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
If you do not see marriage as a holy sacred union, why would you even think it is wrong to have an affair? What's wrong about it is that marriage IS a holy union b/t TWO ppl not THREE!
Have you told the spouses of your little affair, if it's obviously not wrong? OF COURSE NOT! You're sneaking around like cockroaches in the night! And you KNOW it's wrong. You've convinced yourself marriage isn't a "holy sacred union" to soothe your guilt! And he's lied and told you he agrees to fool the drawers right off you! Here's the real test: how would you feel if your BF cheated on YOU?!
Drop dead. That'll work for the rest of us.
2006-11-27 10:44:33 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Yes, it is wrong to carry on an affair with a married person. And yes, it could be carried on forever... follow me:
He obviously does acknowledge the bond of marriage because *gasp* he's married! Typically a guy will not leave his wife for his mistress, and you being so nonchalant is an added bonus. He's your hero, he's her hero, and there's no drama... Until she finds out and all hell breaks loose. Some 'other women' have actually been sued in civil court for breaking up a marriage and had to pay up!
You're selling yourself short by settling for this type of arrangement.
2006-11-21 13:10:30 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
well it sounds like the two of you have a beautiful relationship... but at the same time i am a wife and would be infurated to find that my husband is commiting such a horrible act against me (but that is because i feel that marriage is bond between two people that should be best friends and have the relationship you say you have with him with eachother... ) I think if the two of you wanted to see eachother forever that's fine, but i think his wife deserves to know that her penis is in another woman... and that her man is confiding his secrets to another woman... to me those things are shared between husband and wife.
Either way that's not really your issue... its his and hers and luck you found such a wonderful relationship... I am just glad to know its not with my husband....
2006-11-21 13:00:32 · answer #5 · answered by NewMommy!!! 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
i think it is wrong, put yourself in his wifes shoes how would u feel, lifes to short and we need to be commited 100% whats going to happen is you will have a affair and he wont leave his wife. my advice go get a single guy friend not a married one good luck
2006-11-21 13:01:29 · answer #6 · answered by tigger 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
IF HE DOESN'T THINK MARRIAGE IS SACRED--THEN WHY DID HE MARRY? I FEEL YOU ARE A VERY SICK PERSON TRYING TO BREAK UP A MARRIAGE. MAYBE YOU BOTH WILL GET AIDS THEN YOU'LL UNDERSTAND WHY YOU SHOULDN'T FOOL AROUND WITH ANYONE BUT THE ONE YOU ARE MARRIED TO.
2006-11-21 13:10:55 · answer #7 · answered by granny 2 · 1⤊ 2⤋
I suppose there is nothing wrong with it as long as you two are OK with it and as long as everybody else around you is too.
2006-11-21 12:57:08 · answer #8 · answered by Fidelito Martínez 1 · 2⤊ 1⤋