how do you get around the past? does it really matter?

Question

to say the least, i have had more of a wild past. some of which i am embarressed of, ashamed of, or just want to forget. my current boyfriend knows of this, and i know he has a very hard time accepting it. what do i do?... it seems like the past keeps coming up, and honestly i dont think it will ever stop. there are always reminders, ppl talking, or whatever. i love my boyfriend and i want our relationship to work.

Answer 1

My husband knows every single detail of my sordid past. Stripping, drug use, partying with coke dealers, etc, etc, etc. He puts it behind us. All he cares about is who we are now and how we treat each other. If he wasn't there then he doesn't know how it really was. If he doesn't want to accept you for who you are now, because of who you were then....
.....he isn't worth the effort. So tell him what I said. If he can't get over it still, leave him and find another guy, 'cause you'll never be happy and neither will he.

Answer 2

As in all relationships there was life before you two met, and thus that becomes ones personal history whether it be good or bad or indifferent. there is nothing we can do to change our past, but to accept it and learn from our mistakes and move on. With time our past becomes more and more irrelevant to our future. If your bf truly loves you, then he has accepted you as you are and with that comes your past. He probably has also accepted the idea that your past has made you what he fell in love with. We cant control our surroundings no more than we can our past. All we can do is to learn to live with it the best we can and try not to let it direct our present lives no matter what. Since you cannot change what was, then worry about what is and whats to come and let the rest take care of itself. People always seem to find the bad in others and get off dwelling on it, like their own life is something out of a fairy tale book with nothing bad ever in it. Just love your bf as you want him to love you and nothing else matters. Good luck

Answer 3

past things, so ya made mistakes or whatever, let it go, get past it. However you can do that. Therapy. Talking with lovers and friends. Whatever works for you. You had good or at least good enough reasons for what you did whatever it was. Or you were stoned or somebody took advantage. Maybe some of all of those. Just let it fade.

Then, don't do any stupid things going forward. Make it so you won't regret anything. Good honest feelings and building. Whatever you build then, no regrets. And its real. Let people say whatever they want. If you get past it the words won't have any effect anymore. Build something good honest and solid instead if you can.

Answer 4

You're paying now... for what you thought was fun then. We were all young and dumb at some point. It's your past history... can't change a thing about that. The only thing you can do, is to demonstrate that you've learned from those mistakes, and don't make them anymore. After a while, your boyfriend will realize that you are serious about changing your ways. He will begin to trust you more when he feels confident you aren't going to embarrass or disappoint him. You're going to have to prove to him that the 'Wild Child' is gone for good.

Answer 5

This is pretty vague, but if you've done stuff then Youve done it.

Now you gotta live with the consequences, the trick now, is to be who you want to be (which sounds like it's not who you were in the past) and you be proud of who you are now. And realize that you can't change what you've done, but there may be instances that you can share your story with someone else that can help them get out of what you were doing.... this could be an opportunity to help people too. But either case, you don't hide from your past, you recognize you did it, that others know you did it, and that you aren't that person anymore. And NOW be the person you can be proud of.

If your BF can't get past your past, then find someone else. Youre worth it.

Answer 6

The past is the past!!!!!!!! If he can't accept you for the things you've done then sucks to be him. If he loved you then he would forgive you and tell all those people that are talking **** to shut the hell up!!!!! Good Luck Gurl

Answer 7

i am in a similar situation. my past was rather colorful and my fiance never really went out much. as long as he is understand about your past and you are trying to be beyond it, then you'll be ok. just keep those lines of communication open with him. if there are people in your life from the past, then tell them that you are trying to move on from that chapter in your life.

best of luck

Answer 8

tell him to deal with it
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