Why does it seem that women are attracted to men that are mean to them. I have always been "a nice guy.? It seems to me that the saying that "nice guys finish last" has a lot of truth to it. Should I start being a jerk and then maybe I would be noticed by the women. Is that what women want?
2006-11-21 11:45:50 · 28 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
totally true, its not they're mean, they are just more likely to be outgoing and go after what they want more instead of being the nice guy and waiting for his turn. he sees a woman he wants, he goes for it, nice guys wait in line
2006-11-21 11:50:20 · answer #1 · answered by kendra dowson 2 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Nice guys finish last because the meaner guys teach the girls to "grow up." It's not a bad thing waiting for "women" to become interested in you. You really won't like the "girls."
By the time a girl gets her heart broken, picks up the pieces, and learns what love is really all about, she'll be more appreciative that she was lucky enough to find a guy like you.
You're just witnessing how the female of the species grows up. Just stay as you are, and it'll pay off in the end. You'll be much happier with the woman you find after she has gone through all this trial and error.
2006-11-21 11:49:27 · answer #2 · answered by Jenn 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No, it's not really true. "It's better the second time around." Don't get exasperated by what seems to be the "norm" in our society. Sometimes women seem to go for the "bad" guys, because our society still, in lots of ways, puts women down, and so, sometimes they think that's all they deserve. Sometimes, someone who seems nice, can be "scary" -- "unknown" -- "what does he want from me?" The jerk is more "predictable", so...until the woman deals with what SHE wants (and that usually means a kind, supportive man, who knows what's really important in a relationship), she may go with the jerk.
I hope that makes some sense to you. Continue to be nice; but, don't be a pushover. Be confident that your good qualities will be noticed by someone who may have been around a few jerks, and got tired of it.
Strength isn't only in the muscles; it's in having emotional and intellectual depth.
2006-11-21 12:05:03 · answer #3 · answered by Joya 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I learned the hard way buddy. I'm 36 now. In the middle of my divorce married to the wrong one for 13 years. Found out she had numerous affairs because I trusted her and let her know I loved her more than she loved me.
I met a really wonderfull woman. So I thought! She was going through a divorce as well. But I screwed up and let my emotions get involved. She just said that a relationship is something she's not ready for.
It's simple! I'm living by this code.....................
Remember Adam and Eve? Eve wanted what she could not have... the forbidden fruit. Knowing that... a woman wants what she can not have and always will seek that. Let her chase you. never let her know you love her more than she loves you. They will always have passion that way. You can be nice... but not over nice. Me? I always thought a woman wanted to be treated like a woman, respected, apreciated, worshiped so to speak!
My new, Ex is chasing another married man now. She wants what she can not have. Once she gets it... she wants it no longer. Until they get menopause say around 42 years old. Then they begin to panic and feel the necessity to lock down with a good man. If you're not into older women, then go for the young ones and really really screw with thier heads! Make them think you are skitzo! Split personality! That's what I'm doing now!
2006-11-21 11:56:15 · answer #4 · answered by almondjoy_1000 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Women who are continually attracted to jerks have issues. We all have dated a jerk from time to time, it is the habitual jerk daters I am talking about. Why get involved with a woman with issues? Being a nice guy, you deserve a nice woman, don't settle. Yes, some women are attracted to complete jerks, but take a good look at those relationships. Just turn on Jerry Springer, is that what you really want? An emotionally healthy woman does not want a man to treat her poorly. Good Luck.
2006-11-21 11:54:49 · answer #5 · answered by Josie 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is the way it works..... The girl goes of with all the bad guys that treat them like crap, while the good guy get's his act together and goes to school gets a good job. So by the time the good guy is mid 20s or early 30s all the girls now realize that the bad guys were losers and are battered, used and have lots of baggage and look toward the nice guys who are ready to settle down to take care of them and their baby(s). Then the nice guy in mid 40s or 50s realizes what kind of hoe bag she is and dumps her for someone half her age and then marries a trophy wife.
Otherwise.... I've been a nice guy and often wish I had done things JUST A BIT differently. But to be honest, I guess I'm not doing too bad... but.......We're usually the guys who deal with the phychological problems other guys have imposed upon our women. Sucks, but true.
2006-11-21 11:52:24 · answer #6 · answered by Say it like it is 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That's not always true. When I met my husband he was a sweet, goofy, nerd. Still I remember shaking his hand the first time and thinking "this is the man I'm going to marry". And no at the time I wasn't a nerd too. :P It depends on the type of woman your looking for and where you're trying to meet them at. Hope thats helpful.
Thought I'd add and extra thought... notice how mainly the guys say nice guys finish last and encourage change? While most of the women admit to liking nice guys.
2006-11-21 11:52:03 · answer #7 · answered by LotusAngel83 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Yawn... Before we begin know that while this is a long response, it will answer your question. Now, the reason why nice guys finish last is because they do not have the ablity (confidence/courage) to tell a woman how they feel and do it in a timely manner when they begin to have strong feelings for a woman. That is the reason why fellows who are jerks seem to get the women they desire. They A. Dont wait to tell a woman how they feel about them and B. use their strengths to help them when they do tell a woman how they feel.
For example, Lets take Larry and Bob.
Larry is the nice guy. A perfect gentleman. He will be good and faithful to any woman he has. We like these attributes in Larry. Larry likes Georgia. However, Larry thinks that by being Georgia's friend and listening to everything Georgia tells him hell defintiely win over some guy like Bob whose a total jerk. Yet when Larry sees Georgia with Bob hes goes bonkers. Why did she choose him instead of me or guys like me he wonders? I was nice, caring a gentleman, a good guy to her, why not me? But what Larry doesnt realize is that while bob may indeed be a jerk bob wasted no time in telling Georiga how he felt about her. He was upfront and to the point. Georgia then responds in a positive manner to him because Bob lets Georgia know how he felt soon after he met her as oppose to Larry who still hasnt told Georgia how he felt. Bob may indeed be a jerk but he displays a trait that Larry does not and that is confidence. Without it, Larry will continue to have the same results all his life when it comes to the women he desires let alone his life in general. In all you dont want to be the nice guy. You dont have to be a jerk to tell a woman whats up. You need to have the confidence to let her know not long after you know her how you feel about her and ACCEPT rejection if she does reject you. Second, women DO NOT want jerks. They want confident men. Some mens confidence apepars to be in the form of arrogance but it isnt. That doesnt mean that women dont make mistakes. As stated earlier, Bob is a jerk, but Georgia wouldnt know that until she started dating him. I could go on about this but ive said enough to answer your question. Hopefully this should give you a starting point next time you end up liking another woman.
2006-11-21 12:11:42 · answer #8 · answered by Wheres the Rum Gone? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The ones that behave the way you describe, well you don't want that kind of ***** because that's what they are.
Don't feel bad. The race is a long one. Nice guys do not finish last when the race is underway heading down the finish line with wonderful families, children, grandchildren etc.
The others will be the alcoholics and unemployed with no life to show for it.
Keep on doing what you've been doing. the right woman is out there waiting to find you.
2006-11-21 11:51:22 · answer #9 · answered by Carl 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
That is really not true. If the women around you prefer "jerks" , maybe you are around the wrong women. That being said, many men mistake being "nice" for other undesirable qualities i.e, low self esteem,introverted,weak....Women love nice,yet confident men. That's why they fall for the "jerks' sometime, they "appear" to have more confidence, but likely just more bravado. Stay nice!
2006-11-21 11:53:46 · answer #10 · answered by Basquephantom 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
no not really...I am married to a nice guy - and I think he is wonderful!! I would not want to be treated badly. Maybe you are just interested in the wrong type of gal or you are too nice. You have to have an opinion, you have to have a back bone, but you can be a strong man and still be nice. Best of luck to you and you will find a nice gal interested in a nice guy!
2006-11-21 11:50:16 · answer #11 · answered by Becky 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋