About a month and a half ago me and my gf of 2 years broke up. About two weeks after, I met this other woman, I thought she was very good company and after a month of talking we slept together not once but twice. She's going through some things so I help her out financially, and so forth. I love her company, but recently me and my ex has decided to give "us" another chance. I would love for us to rekindle our relationship, I told the girl that I have been talking to that we can't sleep together anymore, but I would love to still be her friend. She took it terrible, telling me I can't go back with my ex, and that she's in love. She is also living with her "ex"-fiance`, I don't understand how she could fall in love with me so quickly. I care about her, but I don't love her, I love the woman I have been with for the last 2 years. What do I do about this other woman? How do I tell her I don't feel the same way she feel about me? How do I tell her we can only be friends, w/o hurting her?
2006-11-21 11:45:48 · 18 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Ouch!!
OK to me you are doing the right thing in being honest and stopping the sleeping part of your new found friendship with this lady but I cant help feel this new friend is trying emotional black mail on you if she is living with her ex as you mentioned and who isn't to say she isn't sleeping with him why she has been with you?
I would be more concerned about STD in this situation than her letting go.
Just stand your ground and be firm and stick to what ever you decide.
I think your current relationship will rekindle if you both put time and effort into it like you are.
They say a break is as good as a holiday.
Sadly some people can think they are in love because they are craving for any type of attention which they could be lacking in there own life or present relationship so they go and search for it else were.
We are all guilty of that at some point of time in our life! If we are honest.
So once someone nice like you seem comes along and gives them that attention and gives them the inner emotional needs like sex or comfort,then financial help and any other type of assistance whether its companionship or just a cuppa and chat and most times can be taking out of context making it hard for you in this case to break away or "get away".
Sadly some people cry wolf when they see another vulnerable person like them selves which is an easy target to latch on to.
As she has found with you!
Please just end this other connection with this other lady but sadly I cant help feel she may start giving you a hard time if not your partener of 2 years.
As she will feel jealouse of you going back to her and most probly wonder what is wrong with her for you to leave her after a month but honestly this her thinking and doing and not yours.
Dont fall for any emotional words as they are based on making you feel guilty..
Be strong..And good luck.
2006-11-21 12:17:57 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
you can't - she's already hurt because you and her have had sex and it's not so unusual for some women to believe they are in love with the man who's helping them out(financially) and being intimate with them.
One more thing, if you are going to break things off with the other woman - you also need to end any other type of relationship with her because she won't accept "friendship only".... besides you actually should cut ties with the other woman if you and your ex are getting back together - that way you don't present yourself as a man who can't let go of his former lover.
2006-11-21 11:56:05 · answer #2 · answered by jaimestar64cross 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can't. Pretty much telling her anything other than that you want to be with her is going to hurt her. That's the way love goes sometimes. Just be honest with her. You may not end up friends in the end, but when it comes to love you have to do what is right for you, or you'll just end up hurting her down the line anyways if you don't love her.
2006-11-21 11:52:15 · answer #3 · answered by ThUmPeR 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well you definatly need to tell your ex or current girlfriend whatevr she is what is going on that way in case this gurl tries to ruin it for you, you can be honest and be the one to tell her first and as for her you need to tell her she cannot be in love with you and try to let her know if she really did love you she would want you to be happy and see if she would rather be a part of your life as her friend or be nothign at all, you cant be nice about it because she wont get it and you need to tell her you flat out dont love her and you just want to stay friends and if she loves you already after two times of intimacy then you must be doing the damn thing if you knwo what i mean lol <3
2006-11-21 11:57:37 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't let that boy reign you too hard, Girlie. But love makes us weak to such things... sigh This be a deep one needing pondering.
2016-05-22 10:47:57 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can't she is going to be hurt. Women tend to take break ups very hard its a major blow to our egos! However you need to be true to yourself and honest with her. Sit down with the lady and be as honest as you can be with her. She's going to be hurt and she will not want to be friends with you at least not for a long while. You will have to deal with this but thats the way it goes and hopefully your relationship with your ex will be worth it. Good luck
2006-11-21 11:55:11 · answer #6 · answered by buffybot67 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you tell her the same way you told us. the Truth. don't lie because that hurts more. eight er way it go's your going to hurt her. so don't ask how you won't hurt her because you are. be a man about it though. real men stand up for what they believe in and let her know your really sorry and that you have to go. and please don't tell her you can still be friends because that's not going to work for 1) she gots feelings for you and 2) if you really what to make it right with the girl you really love of 2 yrs. you cannot be friends with someone you sleep with while you guys were broken up that's not going to work.
2006-11-21 11:54:31 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can't just "be friends", get realistic here. You just have to hold your ground, be honest with the "other woman", and tell her that you wish to return to your old relationship. I'm sorry, but in the game of love, there are winners and there are losers. Each person makes their own choices - it includes you, and it includes her. She will just have to get over it.
2006-11-21 11:51:50 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't even think you should be friends. She may have feelings for you, but considering the short time you were together, she can get over it. Just tell it, you're sorry, but it's over. She's going to be hurt no matter what...
2006-11-21 11:49:58 · answer #9 · answered by pinniethewooh 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She is going to be hurt anyway so just tell her you don't love her. Re-enforce that you are getting back with your prior girlfriend. The best thing you can do is be truthful and cut it off.
2006-11-21 12:17:52 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋