Have any of you experienced ungrateful friends? If so, what was your experience and how did you deal with it?

Question

An example: This one guy I know was struggling on how to date women. He was also struggling on how to find a good job fast after he graduated from college. As a friend, I listened to his problems, & even sympathized with him, letting him know I went through the same fustrations in the dating game & with finding a job after college as he was. I then gave him the best advice I could in the most diplomatic way I could.

I have a great job & found a great wife which showed him that I went from the situation of where he was, to now, & happy. What does he do? He ingores everything I tell him, ignores all of my advice. Even my wife thought he was being rude. He then months later tells me how his other friends helped him to do well in the dating game & in the job search game & explains how supportive they were as if I was never there for him.

I basically wasted my time even caring about his situation. Has anything like this happened to you?

This is why my only real friend is my wife.

BORED AT WORK - Maybe I should have been born a chick then. Too bad I'm too masculine for a sex change. I'd just be a hardcore lesbian if I could be a chick though :)

Whitie102 - The problem is, my advice I gave was the same advice he got from other people. Perhaps I just give terrible advice. This is why I've stopped giving advice to people I know, I never had the "lawyer" or "car salesman" act that many otehr people have that allows others to listen.

BORED AT WORK - I'm tellin you man, it'd probably be easier if I were a pretty chick. I could score all the cute lesbo and bisexual ladies.

BORED AT WORK - But dude, imagine how easy it'd be to get with chicks as a pretty chick. Soo much easier than when your a guy. Almost too easy.

Mistique - That sounds l;ogical. The importance of evaluation in friendships and what your getting out of it.

kp - Exactly. I wonder why poeple ask for your professional advice and when you give it, they don't want it no matter how truthful or diplomatic you you say it. Only to listen to the same advice from soneone else. Bascially, don't ask me fo sh*t.

Answer 1

Well, I can sympathize... because I have been "walked over" by many friends. I'm smart, academically speaking, and have made many friends who feel it is my duty to tutor and provide them the answers and help on all their papers. Or friends who only call when they need something. This is why I only have 1 real friend, and my husband. It took a while to realize that people are shadey, and you can't always trust them. Hard lesson learned. Now I evaluate every relationship, asking "Am I getting out of this relationship what I am putting in?" and if I am putting in too much energy... and not recieving any of that energy back, then you really have to evaluate if it's worth it..

Answer 2

Well, you have to understand and respect that people dont necesarilly have to do what you tell them as an advise. An advise is just that,,,advise,,,,he can choose not to follow it if he wishes and that doesnt make him a bad friend. Now, if he didnt listen to you and things go wrong for him, its not your fault, either. I would not stop being his friend just because he didnt follow your advise.

Answer 3

Dude, you sound like a female... Man up and Grow a pair.

"whaaaa, my friend doesn't listen to me, I don't think I can handle it. I think I'm gonna go on Oprah and tell the world about so they can feel my pain... Boo Hoo."


Just giving you a hard time... laughter keeps us all young.
(I still wouldn't admit to wanting to be a dyke though)

Answer 4

You can give your friends all the advice you want, but they aren’t required to follow it. If it bothers you when people don’t follow your advice then maybe you need to stop giving it, even when they ask for it.

Answer 5

we all have our problems
b