why was she early???

Question

my baby girl angela was just born 4 months early im so scared my fiance is trying to help but i just get mad at him and it makes things worse.
she is six days old now and she just had heart surgery i really dont no what i would do if she didnt make it. those feelings are weird to me now too because just last week i was so depressed about being pregnagnt now i feel like it is my fault she was born early and that it will be my fault if she doesnt make it
i just want her to be okay i love her so much already i just want to take her home and hold her in my arms she is so so small
i just want to know why she was born early and if it was my fault?

Answer 1

DOn't be so hard on yourself, I don't believe it was your fault at all. Not sure of the details, but I guess that baby was ready to be born. The hospital will take very good care of her, and will do everything they can to keep her here for you. Please don't be too frustrated with your fiance, he's just trying to help, and is trying to be there for you as best he knows how. If you need something different from him, you need to tell him nicely, I'm sure he's worried too. Only the doctors will be able to tell you why she was early, and please remember this was not your fault. God Bless and I will pray for you little one.

Answer 2

It probably had absolutely nothing to do with you. If it did, it was probably a physical problem that would have complicated any pregnancy you had, not anything you could control (and, thus, absolving you from fault). The doctors may be able to tell you what caused the early delivery (ask them), but, sometimes, there is no real answer that they can give you. You being depressed about it had NOTHING to do with it.
The advances in medical technology make it quite possible that your daughter will be absolutely fine, although it may be a while before she can come home with you.
If it makes you feel any better, my sister-in-law was born at 26 weeks and is now a healthy 19 year old. I will pray for you and your family.

Answer 3

Hi
My daughter Brooke was born at 23.2 weeks 450 grams (just under a pound). She's now 3.5 years old and doing great. She also had heart surgery and eye surgery. I also never found out the reason why she was early. I think I may never know, I put it down to she just wanted to come and nothing was going to stop her. Try to talk to Angela as much as possible, she can hear everything you say. I used to read when I ran out of things to talk about. It's very hard to stay positive and a long process. Brooke was in hospital for 5 months before coming home. Anglea sounds like a strong little girl. There's a good website www.austprem.org.au and www.aussiepremmies.com
Take care

Answer 4

first of all its not your fault at all that your baby was premature.
so try not to worry to much be strong for your little girl. let ur fiance help u and try to make u feel better! its what he should be doing im sure u would want to help him if he was stressing like u!
these thigns happen all the time and alot of the time the babies come out fine. your daughter will probably be in hospital for a while and if your dr's dont yet know why she was born early they should know after her opperation.

im sorry i dont know what more to say! i have not been in this situation before but i will pray for you and your family and im sure you will do fine. let your family and friends comfort you and let them take your mind of things for an hour or so, although u can do nothing but worry it will help not to think about it for a while

good luck i wish u the best, think positive it was not your fault or anyone elses, i promise

Answer 5

if you were taking care of yourself & baby PRENATALLY, before birth, then it's NOT your fault. personal private conditions of your baby should really be discussed in a public forum like this.

but your doctor should have already given some reasons as to why she was early. Lots of NORMAL babies are born early too. he should've also said if the earliness had anything if at all to do with her heart condition. your doc should've also told you exactly in what condition her heart was... & what exactly the surgery will correct in the heart, as well as chances of success, & any other risks, during surgery & after surgery.

being early is not necessarily a bad thing. it'll give the doctors an earlier chance to help her. being early doesn't really mean that it's your fault. it really depends on what the condition/ disease is.... sorry i can't help any further.

marvyn peralta, RDCS

Answer 6

It is NOT your fault. My son was born almost 3 months early and he is now a heathy 2 year old. Your doctor should be able to tell you why you delivered early...with my son it was placental abruption, which is caused by different things...including stress. Back in August I gave birth to a baby girl at 21 weeks and we lost her and I was devestated and had to go on antidepressants for Post Partum depression. Talk to your doctor. Part of what you are feeling may stem from PPD.

Answer 7

sometimes there are reasons....sure. but - sometimes it just happens. medical science is not at the level where we can forsee *every* possibility, today.

Be thankful that she is alive. Love her. Be at peace with yourself..

Nothing else you *can* do at this point that is more productive than that.

Best wishes.

Answer 8

no. babies can be born premature because of problems during their development prematurity usually occurs similar to a miscarriage where teh body rejects the fetus. having a premature baby does not mean she wont make it.

Answer 9

Do not blame yourself! I am sorry that this happened. It is deffinately not your fault! I hope it all works out! Good luck!