I am 25 years old and I have only had one sexual partner,which is the same guy I lost my virginity with and I am still with today.We have been together for almost 6 years,I still love him, but my body tells me something else. I have a strong curiosity to know what it is like to be with other men. I love my boyfriend, but I don't want to loose him because of this curiosity...that is why I have thought about one night stands.... People tell me to explore before I make desicions such as marriage,and I feel he is the one, but am I missing something if I just marry and decide to be a one man's woman?
2006-11-21 11:25:24 · 22 answers · asked by mia16 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Here is the thing... No matter what you do, even though it may be years later, these things usually come out and can ruin the lives you worked so hard to create. The choice is yours, though.
Unless your out to overtly ruin your relationship with him permanently, you can't lie or hide what you want to do from your boyfriend, no matter how hard it will be to talk to him about it.
Whatever you choose to do, it must be approached with honesty and candidness with your boyfriend.
You could tell him that you want to take time from the relationship to "sow your wild oats" but it is unlikely that he will wait around for you... So you have to be alright with the potential to loose him or do the very same thing that you want to do and find other lovers.
I am polyamorous, though I expect your not, but by agreement between the two of you, you could bring someone else into your relationship and explore the desires your looking for. But again, you have to understand that he is likely wanting to do the same thing... And there are always emotions involved so you or he may not want to give up the relationship that has developed in spite of wanting to continue to love your boyfriend. And that will mean that there may be a long term relationship with someone else involved. That is the way I live, and I find it the most fulfilling kind of relationship(s) and I'd never go back to monogamy. I have had a long, open, loving, and committed relationship with two women for the past 16 years. Humans are not monogamous by nature. Monogamy is a social norm., not a biological norm, so you or he may not be interested in returning to monogamy - that could create problems in your life if one feels differently than the other.
You could spend time "swinging". The nature of swinging is the lack of emotional involvement just physical. But the same issues arise. One or both of you may want to continue this way.
Your curiosity not being fulfilled is likely to haunt you since you have been thinking of it for a while (based on the way you wrote you question). Before you decide to do something about it you need to look at the ramifications of acting on it. There is no right or wrong choices for you, except one.... Trying to lie or hide it from your boyfriend. But there are ramifications to any choice you make.
No one on "Answers" should tell you what choice to make. That choice is only for you and your boyfriend to make... Openly, honestly, with full candor and communications... If you can't do that then keep this fantasy a fantasy, no matter what implication it has for you down the road..
2006-11-21 12:18:44 · answer #1 · answered by jryanwinterhaven 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's normal to want to get back with him. You liked him, trusted him and enjoyed the time you spent together. However, he cheated on you, and not just once so he can't claim it was a stupid mistake or anything like that. I can't tell you what to do, but if you respect yourself then you will ditch him. It will hurt, and you will cry, but it's better to move on now rather than waiting until your feelings grow even deeper for him. Besides if he's cheated once how can you trust him not to do so again? I'm sorry, and good luck. You deserve so much more than someone like him!
2016-05-22 10:36:02 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Everyone just gets hurt, hon. Betrayal is the dealbuster in a relationship. If you want to have sexual experiences outside of what appears to be a committed relationship, you'll need to tell him so, and be prepared to leave. No, you aren't missing much, because love making with the man you know well, and love is THE most wonderful of experiences. The biggest sex organ you have is your brain, sweetie, not your_______. The other is just screwing around, like a dog in heat.
So to be fair to your partner, if this is a big deal to you, end your relationship, tell him why, and risk it all -- including your life, since AIDS is out there. It is so interesting on this site.... there are women who would just die to have a great guy you seem so willing to flush because of inane suggestions of people you consider your friends.... I think your friends are jealous, hon. And if you listen to them you are a fool.... sorry.
2006-11-21 11:38:55 · answer #3 · answered by April 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like your wanting to know how green the grass is on the other side. I say instead of cheating on your boyfriend, maybe you should do something to spice up your sex life. Also, so for instance you do cheat and the guy you cheat with turns out to be a real dud. How are you going to handle the guilt that comes with betraying your relationship? How are going to handle it anyway if you love this man like you say you do. Sounds like you 2 have something special that most people don't get a chance at. Don't ruin it.
2006-11-21 11:42:45 · answer #4 · answered by Angela F 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dear WithDoubt,
Somehow, hon, your screen name says it all. Since sex has become a part of dating relationships, things have gotten stickier for couples. Sex can (for a while) make you think that you are with the only person in the world for you. Sex does mess with your mind. Because sex has been put into dating relationships, people have felt that they need to be exclusive in their dating. Dating is meant to be a sampler of personalities and experiences. Dating was not meant to be a venue for sex. Sex is supposed to be a part of a committed relationship - marriage, not dating.
If you are not happy and fulfilled with the young man you are seeing, break it off. See other people. Enjoy experiencing other personalities and situations. Do not add sex to the mix until you are married. You will be using your brains to filter your emotions instead of your sexual experience. Sex can be great with anyone if you are in love. Sex is just a cold experience without love and commitment. Good luck to you, babe. Take your time.
2006-11-21 11:41:46 · answer #5 · answered by Peanut 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
NO. Cheating is cheating and you will be found out and then the man you say you love will be gone. Unless you talk to him openly about this and he is allowed to find some strange stuff also. Why not get some books and/or movies and see if that kind of stuff interests either of you. Speaking from experience, it's basically all alike.
also, you do not want to meet strangers and have sex. that is very very dangerous. if you do it with someone you know, it will definitely not be kept a secret. So some very hard thinking about exactly why you want to do this.
2006-11-21 11:37:00 · answer #6 · answered by TillieDillie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you're thinking about having sex with other guys, something is wrong in your relationship. If you truly loved him, you wouldn't want other guys. I went through the same thing with the first guy I was with. I was starting to notice other guys, and while I never cheated on him, I had a strong urge to be with other guys. At that point I realized I was beginning to fall out of love with him. We ended up breaking up after 3 1/2 years together and it was the best thing that ever happened to me. Again, if you are wanting to have sex with other guys, something is missing from your relationship. Before you cheat, just think about how you would feel if he found out. Or if you found out he was sleeping with another woman.
2006-11-21 11:37:14 · answer #7 · answered by Jen 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
your not missing a thing, but if u cheat or tell him how u feel your relationship will not be the same. before u cheat break up with him first. we always think it's greener on the other side of the fence, but when we get there we realiaze it was much better where we were. but that's for u to find out for yourself. if u cheat your subjecting him to std"s and alot of hurt. it's really not all it's cracked up to be, and once u cheat the guilt will kill you.
2006-11-21 12:04:43 · answer #8 · answered by jude 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No it's not. Don't become yet another deceiver, tramp, covetor or Skank out of curiosity. Leave the relationship and do whatever you want. Don't cheat on your boyfriend!
2006-11-21 11:36:55 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
If your going to marry this man then he gets your heart, soul, AND body. But it sounds to me like your not ready to settle down.You need to thnk long and hard about marriage and what it means if your thinking of cheating.
2006-11-21 11:33:01 · answer #10 · answered by Ronnie 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋