Is marriage that important......?

Question

Alot of people are hinting that me and my boyfriend should get married now that we have a child, is it really that important? we are in a perfectly happy relationship and just want to know what all the fuss is about? we aint living in the 1900's now. lol.
Thanks.

Yea, my son was planned, we plan on marrying in the future but just dont get what the big rush is just because we have had our son.

Savvy, your a dumb cow, like insulting little babys do you? what gives you the right to label my son as a 'bastard' its very old fashioned to call children that. My son is a special gift who is loved and cherished by both me and his dad, what difference does it make if we married or not? As long as hes brought up in a stable and loving family with morals and manners, i think we would be setting an excellant example to him.

Kayef57, you too are fuc*ing stupid, whatever gives you the idea that my son will be having sex at that age just because we aren't married? My mom and dad were not married and i wasn't a little sket and i want to get married at some point to my babys father, so your labeling doesn't make sense, divey!

Answer 1

You should not be forced into an early marriage simply because it's what other, apparently well-meaning souls, think that's what you should do.

It's your life - marry when you want to. If older, married family members tell you to marry, politely point out to them that they have already married and they should "butt out" of your life.
Similarly, if unmarried friends insist you marry, ask if they are trying to live their life through yours.

It shuts 'em up damn fast.

Answer 2

Not really. Marriage is a ceremony. As long as you declare that you are together, to the wider world, and are happy to commit to each other and stand by that commitment when there is a child, as long as you do not commit adultery, fine. Marriage is more of a secular institution than religious, as it is a contract, a legal contract which you have to abide by, and pay a price if you break it (divorce). It also depends whether you belong to a religion or not. No child is ever born illegitimate. Marriage is not only a way of religion controlling relationships, it is also a secular society's way of controlling relationships, for a reason - as children are involved. So the answer is yes and no, depending on what angle you come from. But at the end of the day, if you are sincere, it is your conscience that marries you, not a piece of paper.

Answer 3

Marriage is very important. When you say your vows to eachother with witnesses around you, you are making a commitment to eachother as a couple and now as a family. It is a binding contract. And even though sometime couples don't take that very seriously, it is something that should be well-thought out. You don't have to have an extravagant wedding. You can have a wedding with just a few close people if you'd like. That's up to you.

As for your child, it would be nice to for him/her to have parents that love eachother so much that they were willing to commit to eachother in such a special way. If you plan on marrying in the future, then I don't see why you wouldn't just get it done. You ask why the rush, but I ask, why wait? What are you waiting for? To see if it's going to work out? Think about it.

Happy Thanksgiving.

Answer 4

You should never get married just because other people think you should. No one knows what goes on behind closed doors with you and this person but you. You're the ones who'll have to live with each other through good time and lots of bad. Marriage is not a necessary step just because you have a kid. But love and respect for your kids other parent is. If you feel like bringing a kid into this relationship was a mistake (not planned), getting married because of the "mistake" will be causing another "HUGE MISTAKE"!

Answer 5

Well i think if the person believes in it then do it but personally i dont. Iv seen many ppl get married after 10 - 11 years 2gether and when they do it all goes pear shaped. For me (im 22) even when i was a litle girl didnt dream of the big white wedding like some other girls and still dont. The more iv grown the more i dont believe in it, thats not 2 say i dont believe in being comitted 2 ur partner...in saying that, thats just me. I respect ppl who do choose to marry, its just not for me.

Answer 6

In this day and age, I wouldn't worry about what others think! At least you and your man are happy and raising your child together! If you are planning on getting married in the future, that is great. People today should take more time before getting married. There is a lot work to do before taking that step.

As long as you and your man and child are happy, stick to your guns!

Answer 7

Sure its important since you have a child, But thats some thing you 2 have to decide! Don't get married because someone tells you too, Do it for all the right reasons!

Answer 8

It's only a Sacred Vow in front of your family and friends, AND GOD..... it's your decision though and if your beliefs are different then think of it as a vow to each other , theres also the security, for you two, and mainly your child, but if you don't know and are unceratin there is no reason to jump into it, don't only get married for the child, bc thats not righ teither

Answer 9

If I were a little child, I think I would want my Mommy and Daddy to be married. It would make me feel safer and we would all have the same last name. I would be a member of an old-fashioned, committed family.

Answer 10

I agree that what YOU want is important.

However, things will be a lot easier legally for you and for your child if you are legally married. This is especially true if something should happen to your relationship down the line. {Of course, I'm not wishing anything of the kind.}

If you decide not to get married, make sure that you have a guardianship agreement in place. This would state who would take care of your child should anything happen to you.