My husband has been looking to get into the movie business for a long time. He writes screenplays, has volunteered to be an extra in many movies, etc. Recently he signed up for a major part in an indy film, it is an erotic drama. We have a fairly open sex life, go to swinger parties, but always together. He will have to have unsimulated sex in this movie, and there will be rehearsals. It is not a porn movie, and we have watched similar movies together to give me an idea what he will be doing. We have discussed it to death, and I am trying to be ok because I know this could do wonders for his career, but it is still hard to take. He thought I would be ok with this because we swing, but this is different. He will be out and I will be home with the kids. Advice?
2006-11-21 10:29:46 · 12 answers · asked by Christa G 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I skimmed through this, but Id say a lil jealousy never hurt nobody. More or less, you trust him just not the enviornment. Is that correct?
Seems like he has the power in thi relationship, do something to balance it out. Bu, someones gotta watch the kids!
2006-11-21 10:34:00 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why would you have an open sex life to start with? If you didn't want him to make porn and be a part of "open" sex (sex on film IS PORN, simulated or not) then why did you become swingers?
It's got nothing to do with whether he should make the movie and everything to do with your past history. Marriage and sex were made to be exclusive- if he makes this movie...or others...then it is a case of the beginning of the end- you WILL be home with the kids and he WILL be having lots of sex with lots of partners and....it's all out of your hands. You need to tell him you are not ok with it- and if he loves his wife, his children....MORE than the possibility of this career then he will be respectful of your feelings. But what about the kids- are they going to see some movies sometime down the line where their father is screwing all these other women? Is this a healthy family ideal? He should be making decisions that are best for his family---not best for his pecker. I'm sorry, i just cannot understand why some people ever get married or think that they are fit to parent innocent lives when they are still behaving like college freshmen, free from mummy and out to party up.
2006-11-21 18:43:50 · answer #2 · answered by chikensnsausages 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well.... In most swinger relationships it is the men who introduce the idea and men who keep telling you about all the fun you will have. Women are the ones who go along for a while and then decide it is time to slow down and just have a two way love affair. Too often swingers end up divorced or seperated with the guy still hanging on swinglifestyle.com telling everyone how she used to come along and now she dosen't so he is playing alone...
I did a huge social impact paper on this and actually sat down with couple's in all stages of this game, it is not funny how things start to shift over time.
To answer your question... how important is his career, is it worth hurt, buried feelings that will eventually tear apart the relationship... or can you be really ok with it?
You already know the answer, it is easy to read in your question, you are now trying to find someone to push you into OK instead of following your own gut. The best relationships are built on a shared path, where both people get to gain from investment. This sounds a little one sided.
2006-11-21 19:13:51 · answer #3 · answered by Me 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, I guess swingers do have some morals afterall ! I would have thought you'd be ok with it too if you don't mind him fu*cking other women while you screw their husbands. You cant' have it both ways you know. You're both pitiful but Godloveya.
2006-11-21 18:34:17 · answer #4 · answered by Sassy OLD Broad 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
go with him just like Melanie G. does with Antonio Banderas i mean you dont wanna end up like Jennifer Aniton, do you?
P.s. you can always take the kids or find a babysitter if they are too old to watch.
2006-11-21 18:33:54 · answer #5 · answered by Baby Doña! 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like your marriage was screwed up way before this acting part became a concern.
2006-11-21 18:35:51 · answer #6 · answered by Chuck C 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You can either support his career choice, or not.
It's not anything he hasn't done before, and it's not like he is cheating on you. (unless of course he starts doing it outside of rehersals and filming)
Regardless though, now you're seeing why Hollywood marriages never last.
2006-11-21 18:39:42 · answer #7 · answered by serogers1970 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hire a babysitter and find a dude to have fun with while your husband is gone. Then you can swap stories!
2006-11-21 18:34:42 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Here's what my fiancee says, "Sounds like he wants to have his cake and eat it too. Swinging? Or is this just a swing ?"
2006-11-22 02:23:22 · answer #9 · answered by Ellie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
suck it up..its his career ur talking about. u could always keep in touch with him. its no big deal trust me
2006-11-21 18:58:53 · answer #10 · answered by johnny 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋