Isn't 28 years old too old to live off Dad?

Question

He is my stepson, and I've tried to be nice. He has lied about paying his past debts., and for 2 and a half years we didn't charge him anything, so he "could" pay his bills! Now we're charging him only 100.00 per week. Out of the 4 years my husband & I have been married, we've only had 1 year of that alone, I'm sick of it!

Answer 1

Way too long. Have a talk with your husband. Set a time limit for this kid to get on his feet or sink on his own. 3-6 months should be sufficient. The two of you together must approach the son and inform him of your final decision and the time limit. Whether he's in good shape or bad, everybody's on the same page and knows exactly when the moving out date is. Why should he be self sufficient and independent when he can leech off the two of you? Some children are natural manipulaters and users and lazy. They just need a giant hard push out into the real world.

Answer 2

You have to talk to your hubby about it. If he doesn't mind then you will have a problem. Also if he(stepson) has a goal he's trying to achieve and don't mind staying at home, then this is a good reason. I, myself, returned home to attend college at the tender age of 25. 14 years later, I woke up on my 38th birthday still at mom's house. Dissappointed, just continue to search for work and be frustrated. The good thing is I help them and they don't mind but the bad thing is I didn't plan on being at home this long. So I continue to search for the right job. Good luck with your stepson problem. It is a issue you will probably fight it out with your hubby. You may play head games with the hubby. Tell him it's going to be the stepson or you....but at least give him plenty of time to find a place. I don't know what else to say. Oh, and if you want him to go, $100 a week is steep if and only if he is suppose to save up for an apartment down payment. As I write I'm thinking of other things. Make suggestions to him that he can live with his girlfriend.(assuming he's straight)...or tell him about some nice cheap apartments you seen. He may soon pick up the hint.

Answer 3

yes that is definetly too old. both of brothers have come home to live with my mom and dad and that was when one was 24 and the other was 32!! can you believe it? kick him out it's the only way reality will hit him and make him see that there is life beyond mom and dad and living in there space that they so rightfully deserve now!! when you kick him out he will be forced to get a job find a place and take some major respnsibilty, and remeber only tough love will work with this one. also don't try to hook him up with anyone so he will leave because once the relationship goes sour (if it does) he will be right back at home with no life experience , no place, and a lot of stress on you. just don't do that. make him independent. ok i hope everything works out.

Answer 4

Yes...you "both" should talk to him. He should understand that even if He was living with his real mother and his Dad He would still have to be responsible. He needs to become more mature...not only to pay you but because someday He will have a family too and he'll have to know these things. Talk to him, don't just give him hints. Aproach him in a friendly manner and try to avoid an argument. Everything can be resolved in a civilized way! Remember He is your husband's son and when you married him you also accepted his son. Good Luck!

Answer 5

Yes, I agree it is too old, barring the exception that he has an illness or something preventing him from working or living on his own. But kicking him out will need to be something that comes from your husband (his father), rather than you (his stepmom). Not that you're worried about any popularity contests but you don't want your husband to later resent you. There is probably some residual guilt or something that's kept your hubby allowing his son to behave like this. Find out what it is so he can work through it. It needs to be his decision...work on him! Watch Desperate Housewives and get some MANipulation pointers :)

Answer 6

Yes it is, I'm 28 and have been on my own since 18. You can get him out by making it more and more uncomfortable to live there...like constantly giving him chores "so he can handle life on his own"...give him a curfew..."so he can't interfere with your sleep schedule"...make him start paying the cable and food bills "since he is the one getting to benifit from these the most while sitting at home not working"...oh and the topper no more home cooked meals. These tricks will have him out in a few short months...good luck

Answer 7

Yes he is to old to still be living at home. The only exception would be if he were in the service. If he has lied about paying past debts then he is obviously atempting to take advantage of you. The price you are harging him is fair.

I would set a time limit such as he has so many months to find a place. He is taking advantage of you and your husband.

Answer 8

Yes, he should have been on his own about 8 yrs ago! There will always be some excuse why he can't make it on his own....time to kick the baby bird out of the nest!
It's amazing what people can do if they HAVE to...actually you are doing your stepson a favor by making reach his potential.
God Bless your family!

Answer 9

No it isn't too old. It IS too old to sponge off a smart dad. Tell hubby that either the son goes, or you go. Then, DO IT. Feb 1 is a reasonable deadline.

Answer 10

you need to let your husband know that 28 is old enough to get out on your own and to grow a pair! I was out on my own at 18! and I know people who were out on there own even younger! so to answer your question, YES 28 is to old to be living off dad!