why is it when you argue with a woman they always want to keep arguing and we as men want to just end the argument. like my wife, we got into an argument yesterday and she argued for 5 hours and I wasn't able to say much she just yelled and yelled. I finally got fed up and left. this made her more mad and she continued to yell at me.. why? how can I stop the argument from getting worse without letting her just yell at me?
2006-11-21 09:26:15 · 16 answers · asked by sublimelvr1979 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Okay, I can level with ya on this. I'm the same way. I can argue and argue and if he leaves, it just makes me more angry. I've learned to sometimes let him go and then he comes back 20 minutes later or something, but it's so hard to try and tell him how I feel when I get nothing in response. No "i'm sorry i hurt your feelings" or nothing. You guys just want to forget about it, but we want to actually fix it! That's how much we want to be with you and make you happy! You have to talk. There's no other way to work stuff out if you just walk away from it. If you don't talk about it now, you'll just have to end up dealing with the situation later either with her or someone new.
2006-11-21 09:39:35 · answer #1 · answered by inlovewow 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You seem to be looking for the holy grail. I empathize with you. I have been there more times than I care to admit.
I think men tend to be more concerned about preserving the relationship than winning the arguement. My experience is that women are the opposite.
In your communication, you have the right to stop arguing. You can say that you are out of things to say, or you need to take a little while to think about what you are arguing about. You can tell your wife that continuing to yell at you is not going to solve the problem. Taking time to think about the issue will serve you and her better.
I feel for you. I hope this is helpful.
2006-11-21 17:35:37 · answer #2 · answered by happytone365 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Didn't you just get married Aug. 5Th? Anyway, us women are incredible creatures aren't we? I'm thinking it's all about our age. when we are in our 20's we do all kinds of crazy stuff. We yell too much, we think everyone wants our man, we need reassuring all the time that we're still loved, we're an absolute mess at this age. The good news is. we grow up.(and believe it or not, faster than men) Give her time, she will tire of yelling, and when she realizes you're not going anywhere, she will mellow out. 20's are difficult. 30's are better, and 40's we're sure about ourselves and our relationships. Just ask her to pick her fights, because life is to short to waste a good argument on nonsense.
2006-11-21 17:45:59 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you show her that you are truly listening and are concerened about the matter, it won't last as long. Women tend to do this because we feel like you're not caring as much as you should and we have to keep bashing it into your head. If you just walk away, all you're showing her is that what she's saying isn't important or not worth listening to, which will trigger her to yell even more to feel heard. Try talking to her more outside of arguments and you'll find that she will argue less because she's being able to express herself more often than just during fights.
2006-11-21 17:43:29 · answer #4 · answered by * 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I HATE to aruge and I try to get it done as soon as possible. I compromise a lot, too.
There is no point in yelling. If you can't make your point in a few minutes, you're just blowing steam and should take it out by walking or some other exercise instead.
2006-11-21 17:33:01 · answer #5 · answered by Jennifer L 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
wow 5 hours!? I'm a woman and I hate arguing, but it sounds to me like she's probably not upset about whatever set her off, it sounds like there's probably more unresolved issues. good luck
2006-11-21 17:34:26 · answer #6 · answered by FunniBunni 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
OK, HERE IS THE ''SECRET'' we girls are very verbal, when we talk, we expect to be listened to..like with our friends. listening and ''hearing'' the problem..then its give and take..but you may not be ''hearing[ what she says !..you may not like what she is saying, so you stop listening and HEARING..the root of the problem..its very frustrating to try to explain what is wrong , when you ''tune'' out the reason she is trying to get across to you. many men make this mistake.. try, and this is for all the men out there, sitting down, and get her to put it into words EXACTLY what the problem is, one at a time !..because we tend to hold back alot , until we ''burst''..and it spills out, alot at once !..we forget men are simple creatures, and cant deal with to much at once..lol..so listen- HEAR , and try to fix the problem, it may be simply that just helping out more, and consideration ...the other ''SECRET'' WORD..CONSIDERATION.
2006-11-21 17:47:43 · answer #7 · answered by 65MPH-HA 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Let her yell and you keep quiet. Eventually she will stop after satisfying her need to get it off her chest.
2006-11-22 07:36:45 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
try answering quietly, kinda hard to yell when one of arguers is composed
or tell her you will continue the discussion when she has cooled down and go to another room
2006-11-21 17:31:51 · answer #9 · answered by g49joeybethl 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Just leave for a few hours
2006-11-21 17:42:53 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋