My husband started drinking again. When we meet he had not drank in 8 years or so and we have been married for 6 years now. He started drinking again about a year and half ago. He got into a fight with some of the guys he was with and broke his ribs. He stopped for a couple of months and said that was it. He is back to drinking and the other day came home from work drunk (he owns his own business) . I was so up set I can not tell you... His son, my step son was hit by a drank driver... and has a lot of problems due to the accident. He said he will not do that. It' won't happen to him. I don't know what to do. I don't want to wait until he end's up in jail again or some thing worse happens. He did 6 months for DUI about 14 years ago. I though he learned his lesson. I guess not. He tells me he has it under control. I know he does not. What do I say? I know I might have to leave him. I like to work it out but know his has to admit that he has a problem & gets help
2006-11-21 09:10:39 · 6 answers · asked by Cathy 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I don't know how to help you, but you should go to AlAnon, the group for people who are family members of alcoholics.
2006-11-21 09:15:10 · answer #1 · answered by newinfiniteabyss 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That is a long time to be sober and then go back to drinking - that's a shame. There really is no cure unfortunately - that addiction stays with them always. It will be the last thing he wants to hear and it may fall on deaf ears but he needs help and he needs to hear it often from you. The good news is if he quit once he knows how to quit. Unfortunately the only thing that works in most cases is when it hurts them more to continue to drink than it does to quit. This epiphany general follows something really bad happening as a result of their drinking - let's hope it doesn't come to that. As an alcoholic he knows this too. Remind him of this fact and ask him if drinking is worth losing you or killing himself or someone else. Stay strong.
2006-11-21 17:42:48 · answer #2 · answered by Bert 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can't make him get help he has to want help.It doesn't seem like he really cares.If he did he would show more respect for his son whom suffered because of someone just like him.If I was you I would leave until he got his act together.My dad was an alcoholic for the first 19 years of my life and for 11 more before that.And I have alot of experience with people like your husband and you can't treat him with kid gloves you have go to have a cold hard disposition when it comes to his drinking and accept no excuses.They will try to get you to feel sorry for them but don't they drink because they want to not because they have to.Don't let him use his son has an excuse to drink it should be a wake up call to stop not keep going.My dad used his mothers murder to start drinking and then used my brother being brain damaged from almost drowning at my parents lake house when he was three to drink harder.Ofcourse, My brother wouldn't have fell in the lake if my father hadn't gotten drunk when he was supposed to be watching him.Then when my sister was born ill and died has a small child he used that has an excuse to do nothing but drink continually and be abusive.Instead of finding reasons to quit they find reasons to keep doing it and they won't stop not until they want to.My dad finally stopped 3 weeks before my wedding when he found out that my brother was giving me away instead of him.He got mad and me and we had a fight and I stood up to him and told him exactly why he was the way he was because he wanted to and that my siblings poblems weren't causing him to drink it was his drinking that causes all of the problems.He was told to dry out or don't show up to my wedding.And that he would be a part of my life or any of my childrens lives.He poured out his vodka bottle moments later and 14+ years later he is still sober.And the one or two times I could tell he was thinking about it I made it clear that it would not be permitted. Stand firm with you husband it will be hard.But no were near has hard has it will be for you to continue to watch him ruin his life.Here is a sobering thought to fill your husband head with my dad lost his business,family,friends,home and 30 years of his life to booze.And pretty much suffers on a daily basis with the knowledge that all of his children and most of his grandchildren hate him so much they won't even be in the same house with him.And the one's of us whom are still living blame him for the other 2 kids death.After you tell him that ask him if that is what he want's because that is what will happen if he keeps drinking.Good Luck.
2006-11-21 18:36:50 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your husband sounds like he's old enough to know what he's doing.My God why would anyone risk there business if they are the owner.Talk to him about how you feel, then point out that he;s kind of old to start all over again.Good luck to you........
2006-11-21 17:28:15 · answer #4 · answered by Maw-Maw 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Alcoholism is a disease. Alcoholics have a DEEP pocket full of excuses.
YOU can't make him do anything. HE has to make those decisions.
YOU can decide if YOU are going to live with it and all the lies that come with it.
2006-11-21 17:17:22 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
AA NOW, OR LEAVE, TELL HIM.
You can go to find out how to help him, help himself.
2006-11-21 17:17:59 · answer #6 · answered by elliebear 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋