My friend, "Christie" has been married for more than 6 years and has 3 children all under the age 6. Her husband, "Jonathan",(which also is a close friend of mine) has told her that he had cheated on her a long time ago with an ex-girlfriend of his. She says shes not upset because somehow she already knew but did not want to start anything. I knew that Jonathan cheated on Christie a couple of times but I didn't tell her. One was a girl that I didn't know, and it was just a kiss, the other was me which we had a very intimate relationship. We've had an intimate relationship two different times already. Now I am married to Christie's younger brother and I do not know what to do with my husband. Should I tell him or not?? Should I talk to Jonathan about telling Christie it was me too that he was cheating with??
2006-11-21 09:02:47 · 17 answers · asked by MARJ213 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Ok after all thats been said I have another situation I talked to Jonathan but he said that he didn't tell Christie that he cheated on her that he said nothing of the sort. But he says that maybe Christie trying to get something outta me. So does she know about me and Jonathan? Or is she trying to get info from me because she knows that Jonathan and I are close friends and she thinks he spilled info to me? what do you think?????
2006-11-22 02:27:25 · update #1
No, do not tell, it will ruin your relationship with your husband and your friend and her husband and your entire family because you are now married to one of the family members. Sometimes bad stuff happens and we end up doing things that we thought we could never do. Forgive yourself and talk with Johnathon and forgive eachother and realize that you both had made a huge mistake and that you both agree to leave it in the past. If you never tell, make sure it is not because you do not want to face the drama; do it for the sake of everyone else, including Christie's and Johnathon's children, and for the sake of yours someday. Everything you do comes back to you, or atleast you reap what you sow. I never really knew what marriage was about until I was married with kids. I now know the value of it and how it would feel someone slept with my husband, especially if it were a friend of mine. I would be livid!! I would not want to know if something like that had occured in my life with my friend and my husband, but only if it were once or twice. If it was a while ago, spare her. Right now, you are living with this and feel like you want to get it off your chest. Maybe you will feel better to have gotten it out and in the open so that you do not have to live with it inside of you. But guess what?? If you tell, everyone else around you will have to live with it and suffer with what you guys did. I say keep it between the two of you. Do not let your friend hurt the way she will if you tell.
2006-11-21 09:36:47 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm scared for you! You should come clean with your husband, because what if things don't go right between Johnathan and Christie, and Johnathan confesses to her, then you will look so bad to your husband. You gotta do something, this is definitely a catch 22, either way you are gonna lose. Johnathan can not be trusted to keep your secret if he already told Christie that he cheated before. Your bombshell could be next!
2006-11-21 17:15:06 · answer #2 · answered by Tristen T 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
If you tell her it might just ruin both marriages. Jonathan had a chance to tell her and didn't because I am sure he knew that it would be very damaging to your marriage and his. Not to mention the friendship between you and Christie. This secret has to be left just that...a secret. Now go work on making your marriage a long and wonderful one. We learn from our mistakes.
2006-11-21 17:25:45 · answer #3 · answered by 2Bme 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow. What kind of friend are you? I can't imagine "Christie" and your husband/her brother are going to be cool with this. I'd start building up some good karma if I were you.
2006-11-21 17:10:07 · answer #4 · answered by mr_slacker70 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Call Jerry Springer.
2006-11-21 17:07:07 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
OK it's good to be honest but don't you think it's already toooo complicated some things are best left unsaid .. and yes talk to Jonathan and put an end to your intimacy and let that be the end of it . let bygones be bygone .. see now you are married too .and as long as your heart is clean it's OK .. hope this makes sense
2006-11-21 17:12:20 · answer #6 · answered by desparate 1 · 1⤊ 1⤋
No, don't tell anyone anything, let the sleeping dogs lie. What's the point? Your friend knows more than you thought she did, yet she chooses to stay with this man. There must be a reason for it, just let things be.
2006-11-21 17:09:31 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
you call ya self a friend you should be ashamed i just feel sorry for ya supposed to be friend Christie how can you call ya self a friend then screw around with her man you're so disgusting
2006-11-21 17:33:37 · answer #8 · answered by misskisskiss25 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
this should have been all out in the clear before it got serious,it would be best to keep things quiet as much as so many would appose that,your most likely to ruin her mariage and your own relationship because they would never trust you two alone
2006-11-21 17:22:46 · answer #9 · answered by treatau 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow...
My advice is to just stay out of it. Focus on being faithful in your own marriage.
Oh, and don't tell your husband. What is that going to do to him? Make him happy?
2006-11-21 17:08:01 · answer #10 · answered by Royalhinney 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋