My boyfriend ( I am straight female) anyways he has a gay cousin.
He lives in L.A. and he is out of the closet with the family. I am not sure if he knows that I know. Is it ever possible to ask him, when he refers to the person he is with he just calls him by name and not as his partner. I think he is such a cool, wonderful, full of energy guy. He e-mails me every once in a while. Sometimes I just want to ask him how he and his partner are doing. However again I am not sure that he knows that I am aware of his sexuality. Would it be stepping over the line. (I.E. If I want to send him a christmas card do I send it to him and his partner or just him) Please help~
2006-11-21 08:55:46 · 7 answers · asked by pattiof 4 in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
If he is already out i don't see the harm in it... I think if you keep acting like you don't know, he may have a feeling that you are not accepting the relationship... I am sure he is just waiting for you to brake the ice on the subject, I am guessing you to are fairly close seeing that you email every now and then, so i am sure he would love your support. I am sure he has wanted to talk about his partner with you.. So yeah i think you should send him a Christmas card made out to them both. Bets being i am sure you will get one back with both names as the sender : )
2006-11-21 10:21:03 · answer #1 · answered by Shes a Cookie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The easiest way is just ask. Say, "I'm sending cards, and would you and 'Joe' like to be on my list? Some people don't like getting cards because they feel like they must send one back. So if you want a card, I'd like to send one. And give me the correct mailing address." Or something like that. That way, you are indicating that you are aware of his sexuality, his partner and that you approve of both. If they live together, the card would be sent to one address for both. And while you're at it, ask how the salutation should appear on the envelope, to his liking: should it be Mr. Bob Smith and Mr. Joe Jones, or Mr. Smith and Mr. Jones, or whatever? Some people get anal (no pun intended--well, maybe a little) about things like that. Anyway, this should be the most harmless way to go.
2006-11-21 18:35:32 · answer #2 · answered by steviewag 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Since he has already came out to his family it's obvious that you know , and even if it's not if he's so cool and wonderfull and happy about his sexuality he wont jump offensive he would be happy that you know because most gay people feel releved to tell other's , so either you could wait and miss out on great things you too could iscuss or tell him you know and enjoy each other, and yes the christmas card should be addresed to both of them , that's respectful and letting him no that you are accepting him and his partner and that's good.
2006-11-21 17:06:31 · answer #3 · answered by Nikki D 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just ask him how he and his partner are doing. If it were me, I'd really like and appreciate that! Send the card addressed to both him and his partner. He will think it's very cool of you (I know I would think so)
2006-11-21 17:01:20 · answer #4 · answered by ByTheSea 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, if it were me, I wouldn't mind if you just asked me. As being his cousins girlfriend, I would consider you family, so I don't think he would mind. Just start off with something like, "Hey, can I ask you a pretty personal question?" and if he says yes, then ask.
As for the card thing, I would address it to both of them.
2006-11-21 17:04:35 · answer #5 · answered by Richard B 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The cats already out of the bag. Ask him how they're doing. The only thing he might have to complain about is to complain to your boyfriend for outing him. Then again you're dating his cousin, so he should kinda expect you two to confide things in each other, unless he specifically asked his family not to spread the word.
2006-11-21 17:21:02 · answer #6 · answered by carora13 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well, do you think he would mind if you knew? If not then ask him how his partner is doing.
2006-11-21 17:00:26 · answer #7 · answered by Polly 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋