I was asked to go to work, to help pay bills and etc. Plus still be responsible to do all housework, the kids and homework, cooking, shopping and etc. Before marriage, I work, and had a roommate and did not have sex with my roommate. How can I separate this feeling that now I am a provider, protector and meet all of my own needs, when it is the man responsiblity to be the provider and protector? He also stated that I would pay my food at restuarants and etc. but I already do that with my girlfriends to hang out but not expected nor want sex with them, but yet he wants sex! Where is the romance? Where is the gentleman? Why do I have be the gentleman too? I feel like a freak, being feminine, being obedience now I have to be a man too makes feel feel awkward! Does anyone feel this way. Yes I am old fashioned, so I thought my husband to, but I guess not. The prices of childcare and etc., clothing, lunches and extra costs for me to work, will not be extra income as he thinks!
2006-11-21 08:52:50 · 7 answers · asked by ourjacobdavid 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Total up all your costs on paper and divide it by 2. Highlight the amount an leave it for him so that he can see what you are talking about. You are not the only person who lives in your home - you both do. You both are responsible for the household. If you feel strongly about it, let him know that if he doesn't pull his share, he can do it all on his own - as a single man.
2006-11-21 08:57:59 · answer #1 · answered by pinniethewooh 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I feel the same way that you do. I work 40+ hrs a week and I am still expected to come home, cook dinner, feed the kids (ages 4 and 2) get them cleaned up and ready for bed, laundry, all while my husband sits and watches tv. He tells me that his job is more physically demanding since he works in construction and I work in an office. Then when I am ready to go to bed, I want to sleep, not have sex. I just don't want to put forth the effort to have sex if he doesn't want to make an effort around the house.
2006-11-21 17:01:48 · answer #2 · answered by Candy B 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I fyou feel that there is no romance and what not then talk to your husband about this. Let him know how you feel. That is all you can do on your part and if you still feel like you're just a roommate and he doesn't compromise then maybe you should leave or at least prepare to leave until you can if you can't right now. (Just don't let him know if you are planning on leaving until you are ready to do it because his behavior will change-either he will treat you the way you want until he is sure you are going to stay or he will become hostile towards the fact you are trying to become independant). Good luck.
2006-11-21 16:58:50 · answer #3 · answered by Sarah K 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
GIRL, both of you need to be working IN and OUT the house. IF you are to be responsible for IN the house don't you get on your feet to work OUT of the house unless its fair.
When I was married my hubby cooked and groceried while I cleaned and organized. We both took turns with baby, one bathe one prepare the bed and nighttime activities.
TELL YOUR HUSBAND how you feel and SHOW him what it means to be romantic. YOU take the lead and give him a night YOU wish he'd give you and say see, not so hard.
PLEASE try to work it out. He may simply not realize you need that stuff...and some people DO NOT need that stuff.
2006-11-21 17:00:03 · answer #4 · answered by Lotus Phoenix 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
My husband and I share all responsiblities that is what marriage is all about. Plus we have awesome, mind blowing sex.
2006-11-21 16:56:41 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
We share everything as far as monetary obligations but that has nothing to do with feeling that he isn't my sexy man. You have an *** for a husband in my opinion.
2006-11-21 16:58:31 · answer #6 · answered by Candy C 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i feel like a brpther
2006-11-21 16:56:02 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋