my husbands exwife trys to control him by using their 7yr old son as bait to get what she wants.She is jealous that we are married and i have a good relationship with their son.she has made it very clear she wants me to stay out off her sons life.Here are a few examples if my husband can not watch him she is to be called to come and get him i am not allowed to watch him.i am not allowed to have any contact with his school and the list goes on.i have never tryed to "play mom" with her son or said anything bad about her in front of him.my husband allows all this to go on as he says he can't control what she does but he will not even confront her about any of this stuff as he knows she will attack him.So we just allow her to say and do what ever she wants.I think he should stand up to her but he will not in fear it will hurt his son.should i just let this go and just not be involved in his sons life as this seems to really bother his ex wife.
2006-11-21 08:45:06 · 8 answers · asked by janegreener08 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Unless the divorce decree says different there isn't really any legal reason you can't be the step mom. But if she insists, then her current s/o should be treated the same way.
Unfortunately your husband needs to stand up for you, and only he can do it. Talk to him honey.
2006-11-21 09:16:47 · answer #1 · answered by Julie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Were you the reason for the breakup? If so, she will never forgive you and will make your life hell, and I don't blame her. If not, you really have to swallow your pride and try to become friends with the ex. Call her up and ask her opinion about something to do with the son. Tell her what a great mother you think she is, what a nice boy she has raised, etc. Your poor husband is caught in the middle and he is afraid that if he speaks up, she won't let him see his son. So it is up to you to woo the ex so that she doesn't resent you so much. When you are with the boy, always compliment his mother somehow so that it gets back to her. If none of this works, hang in there and hope things get better as the boy gets older or the ex finds someone else. Just remember that your husband has to put his son first, and rightly so -- when you marry a man with children, you are not going to be his first priority.
2016-05-22 09:45:27 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your husband's ex wife should not be bad-mouthing you and you have every right to feel upset about it. However, I can understand your husband's dilemma. It sounds like he doesn't want to make matters worse by fighting with her (which is probably what she wants). If he fights back with her, it gives her leverage to use against both of you in regards to the son. Your husband is trying to be the better person....I know it's hard on you, but try not to get so upset when the ex wife says things about you...you're only giving her what she wants, and that is a reaction.
Goodluck to you.
2006-11-21 08:53:30 · answer #3 · answered by *Logan's Mommy* 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She is the child's mother and can bring him up as she chooses, you are the new wife, stay out of it, your husband is right to leave her alone, spend time with him when he visits do not get involved in anything else the woman is marking her territory, leave her alone, if she wants to bad mouth you then she has nothing better to do the child's interest should come first, by the way did you steal her husband away from her?.
2006-11-21 09:05:25 · answer #4 · answered by lara 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Having been in the same situation, I understand your husband not wanting to have confrontations with his ex. There is always the fear that she will do something (which is dangerously easy for women to do) that will keep him from being able to see his son. As far as her bad mouthing you, tho, I would never put up with that! That would be the day that I would let my ex bad mouth the woman I loved. That's just being a wuss.
2006-11-21 08:59:49 · answer #5 · answered by jare bare 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I agree somewhat to the person before me. A good Step mother does stay out of it. But a good step mother also needs to be involved. I don't think that your husband should allow his ex wife to have that much power. I think that he should have a talk with her about her behavior. I think that this should take place at a time when their son is not around. She needs to accept that you are here to stay and her life and her son's life will be much more pleasent when she see's that. She needs to realize that you are not out to hurt her or her son. I think that your husband should find out why she feels so negitivly towards you.
2006-11-21 08:56:46 · answer #6 · answered by sunnydreams1123 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think a good stepmother stays out of the way.
Just be a good, reasonable person and make things easy on the kid. You can't control his mother. If you're kind and there for him when he does need you, he'll notice as he grows up. Don't ever say anything bad about his mother in front of him - even if it's true.
2006-11-21 08:50:45 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Are you kidding me? Tell your husband to step up and defend you. You are married to this guy and you would do the same for him if you were in that position, right? Sue for custody! Tell your husband to get a backbone and defend you for godsake!
2006-11-21 08:58:01 · answer #8 · answered by troll_house_kookies 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋